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Everything posted by Inbetween

  1. Hi KTP, I don't think you have dug yourself into a permanent hole. In hindsight, you should have withdrawn from school due to medical hardship before getting low grades. But that is past. You obvious cannot perform at high enough academic standards currently. Take some time off, recover, get back where you need to be. This might take years. That's ok! When you are ready, you can go back to college. You might need to go to a community college for a bit to show better grades. No fear! you can do it. I know this as your story is almost exactly like my friend (well, he had more alcohol and ADD and less pain killers, ). He was literally kicked out for bad grades. He got his act together with his mental issues as well as the drinking, went to community college and got his grades up, went back to the same college and graduated. You have a lot of neat opportunities ahead of you for the next two years- maybe some neat jobs, social life outside college, maybe move out on your own. Then you can head back and make the grades. No worries!!
  2. I inquired about volunteering at our local museum of radio and electricity. I think you are right, I should see how I can function first in a non-fireable environment. I will look into more tomorrow- its a great idea!!
  3. Agh. 2 weeks is not soon. It has been 9 days on the dose increase and 6 days of the anxiety. Toss me a bone, spock!
  4. Thanks, that IS an amazing story! I was planning on something like that since I got my career stuck in computer support, and now that's low pay for high school grades. On the other hand, my experience has kept me from getting regular business jobs (BA) like at a bank. It prolly didn't help I went to tech college for electronics (but it was fun!). Maybe I will look at the library here. I was also thinking account payables, but then again, my computer support background... agh :-)
  5. Originally I had panic attacks for months, and would not take a SSRI. We tried everything- exercise, diets, supplements, therapy (I was not anxious about anything). Finally fell into depression, and got on meds. Long story short, for what I have, meds work great and that's about all. Talk therapy doesn't heal MDD. Its genetic, runs in my family. When I am feeling well, exercises, food, sleep all make my life in the meds that more bearable.
  6. So I left a really good paying job (~$60K) a few years ago to explorer other options, as I was burned out in my position working at a computer help desk. I had a lowly admin position at an engineer firm, and then spent 5 quarters studying electronics and PLCs at a tech college. The fifth quarter is when I my relapse stated. I'm recovering now, 2 months into med hell, but think I am close to be going for a job. I really feel that I need to get a job to get me back on my feet, to get me out of the house. Right now, I have morning anxiety and don't sleep through the night, but then again, I don't do much during the day. What I wanted to ask for was opinions. I need to get a job that I can do (40hrs max, in town, no weekend/eve). I do have a BA. At what pay should I be looking at? I do need medical benefits as this self-pay with $4K deductible sucks. Should I resort to retail, or hold out? In some ways I am burned out with computers, as I ended up in computer support the past decade and lost any and all programming or server admin skills. Any ideas of a type of job? Edit: There are no jobs in town for electronics. Or at least that I have found. Can anyone share their experience of being out ill, and then going back into the workforce, and what you had to consider or experienced? Thanks!!! -IB
  7. All jobs are dead end. They are a means to an end, which is to have money and some time to enjoy what you really like, if its hanging with the GF, going skiing, watching sports, or driving an expensive care, or raising a family. If what you mean by dead end is that it doesn't pay enough to live off, and getting another job will be the same with your skillset, then you might need to look at going to a technical or community college or university, or finding a job that will train you and pay a liveable income, the longer you are there (I know Comcast cable is this way). If you are on meds, please consider stopping drinking. First, drinking itself can be addictive and a depressant. Plus, the meds do NOT work if you are drinking, regardless of what others say. When your brain is metabolizing the alcohol, it is not metabolizing the AD. This was told to me by a good pharmisist. I know from experience if I have a few drinks, I get depressed feeling the next few days. Good luck! I think you will be able to turn around and go forward in your life.
  8. Due to the 'virtualness' of online, plus the vast geographic distances, your best bet may be craigslist personals. Also, look for clubs that interest you in your area- facebook, meetup, craigslist- and show up. I met a lot of friends here by joining a local sci-fi club via facebook.
  9. serious anxiety since waking at 5am, even now after breaking down and taking .75 lorazepam.
  10. I was fine when I was on Celexa for 11+ years. No anxiety or depression. I have a great life, a house, a wife, I was going to school. Anxiety and depression was in remission until this past 6 months, depression broke through and then anxiety. Im starting up on Zoloft. I hope the anxiety is being caused by this. I hope any day now that I sleep solid 8 hours, no wake ups, and waking without anxiety. My anxiety is so bad today I took .75mg Ativan and still having anxiety. I see the doctor this afternoon. I will ask him about Klonopine.
  11. Thanks. My appetite did come back last week. Im still getting morning anxiety.
  12. Duck, I twice left high paying jobs- the first I lost due to my illness and being out so long, and the second was a decision to get out of a toxic place. Since that last job, I took a low paying job for a few months, and then went back to school, but then relapsed. Here I am, getting better, but not wanting to go back to school and without a job. Recovery is hard when you don't have anything to go back to. My wife works on disability vocation cases, and she knows that the longer you are out of work, the harder it is. I guess what I am trying to say is, you do need to leave that job. You can live off less money. However, if you can functionally show up to work and work, then I would suggest keeping the job while the meds kick in, and then look for another job. Being without a job is difficult. It is much better to find a new job while currently employed, in my opinion. Take some time off if needed, and if you can, look for a new job during that time. Take care and best wishes.
  13. Slept well last night, just fighting off some anxiety. No Ativan yet today. I wonder how long it will be for my anxiety to go away, and for me to stop waking up at night. Those are pretty much the last things that haven't lifted yet.
  14. Im in the same boat right now. The days I take an Ativan I am fine. The days that I don't, I am fighting off anxiety all day long, like today. Im just waiting for the Zoloft to kick in; both paxil and Celexa worked in the past and put this anxiety into remission. Try breathing exercises, meditation. It helps me short term, but once I stop, the anxiety is still there.
  15. Vice, I am glad we talked today. Stay strong. I think you are making a good decision for tomorrow. Life will go on, regardless, if you stay strong. I promise that there will be more good than bad, more happiness than pain, im the years to come after you get over the immediate issues.
  16. I forgot to update- My meds were changed, and I dropped the Mirtazapine I was also taking, and most of the 'side effects' went away. It seems that they were more to do with taking too much AD and not startup. I hope the ED is better on Zoloft than it was on Celexa (kinda worked) and Paxil (impotent!)
  17. Great story! I wouldn't worry about it at all. There was a lot of worse things you could have said to her. =-O
  18. Most of what you descibe I do, except counting steps but I dont consider to be ocd ;-) maybe I should! I got a bit more ocd on starting up zoloft. It subsided after awhile. Wait another 4 weeks. No worries.
  19. My wife, who has stood by my side so far, so much longer than most would have.
  20. You really need to speak to a medical professional, preferably a psychiatrist, before taking supplements to augment any antidepressant, as serious issues can occur. Taking a supplement that could increase your serotonin, like 5-htp and St. John's wort, on top of Cymbalta or another AD, is not something you want to do on your own! Please look up serotonin syndrome.
  21. Good, if I could shake this anxiety... kinda blowing my Friday night.
  22. You might want to try a different class, like an SNRI or atypicals like Remeron/mirtazapine. Maybe even the older TCAs. I have heard that if one class doesn't do much, another class might. My gut feeling is that if a class of drugs (SSRIs) don't do anything at a high enough level (150mg Zoloft should have) then what that class targets is not the culprit. But I have a business degree, and have no education to base my theory on ;-) Also, counselling could help if meds do not. You might respond better to therapy. If your depression and anxiety are institutionally-based, some serious difficult major life changes (job, location, etc) might be needed for any positive change in your depression. If you are in the worse job ever and that's causing you the issues, for example, no drug will fix your depression. I wish you luck in finding some relief from the pain.
  23. Man, I hate to say this but... counselling? If your depression is coming from the fact of your injury and constant pain, you could hypothetically learn to cope, acceptance, etc, and get the joys back without meds (Which most of us would love to do!). I think that since SSRIs haven't worked for you, you *might* have more issue in the cognitive area than physical. You could then naturally build up what transmitters that need it. Thanks for serving!
  24. Oh snitzie, I totally missed that concern! It looks like Zoloft is unknown (Pregnancy risk: Category C (Risk cannot be ruled out) so ask your doctor. I do know that Paxil is Category D and SHOULD NOT be taken when pregnant (Risk is known). And yes, I live in a 100K population town and there are like 5 psychiatrists with 3+ month wait for new patients. I think primary doctors are very common mental health providers in small towns for the average depression or anxiety case.
  25. Drinking coffee, also!! First cup in 2 months. Mmm... On the chat forums, and apparently I still have not showered or got out of my pajamas today.
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