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Everything posted by Inbetween

  1. I was an anxiuos suicidal mess when i left work so i took it full time. Gave me time for meds to kick in and get an appetite back and eat again. A lot of waiting, sleeping for the meds to kick in. Not a good time for me and honestly a blur.
  2. I have. It went well until i was out over 12 weeks in the year and was let go. Do you have specific questions about it?
  3. Abilify at 5mg, and even less at 2 and 1, in addition to Wellbutrin, kept me stable and worked well. No tiredness, brainfog, etc. However, Abilify has raised my blood sugar to diabetic level and raised my cholesterol and weight. I am getting off it now. I hope to god that the blood sugar level goes back down. It might not. I also have experienced some serious sexual dysfunction, but am unsure if it is PSSD or from the abilify. I have not been on a SSRI in a year, but it hasn't gotten better. Stopping it: I am currently relapsing with anxiety and depression, and I hope that it will go away. It can be difficult for some to get off- relapse of symptoms being one.
  4. Not a good day. Nightmares. Woke early. Depression and anxiety. Missimg my ex. Sad. I think its abilify withdrawls. Im level on it but high blood sugar and cholesterol. Om depressed off it. Dont know what to do

  5. Thanks for the responses! I have talked to my psychiatrist and primary care physician and the options are: I can stay on Abilify and start taking another medicine to deal with the blood sugar, like mikl_pls mentioned, or get off abilify and hope that the blood sugar levels drop. I'm looking to see if anyone who had this issue had their sugar go down after getting off abilify. From browsing the internets, I have seen both cases. I might *still* need to get on something for the blood sugar even after getting off Abilify.- I hope that isn't the case! Damn Mikl_pls, you have been on a lot of meds!!!
  6. I wish there had been a way to keep my ex-wife. I'm the kind of person that thinks about solutions, but there's no solution to it. I wish I had spent more time with her doing fun stuff, going on vacations, going to a movie. I wish I had laid next to her a few more nights. I wish I didn't have depression. But ultimately, for whatever reasons she left me, there wasn't much I could have done before and nothing I could have done once she made her decision. If it was living with someone with depression, either when I wasn't depressed I still had side effects from the meds, or while I was depressed and difficult for her to be with. I think in the end, she had a mid-life crisis, and decided that she wanted to experience stuff she was not able to being married and in the life she had, so there wasn't a damn thing I could have done.

    I've been missing her all weekend. It's tough.

  7. I miss my best friend.

  8. Just got off the phone with my mother. I wish she understood basic geography. The 3 hour distance between my house and theirs is the dame no matter on what direction you travel. Therefor, it is not easier for me to come visit them. In addition they have a 3 day weekend whereas i only have two days.

  9. So  pretty sure that my ED is from the vascemity that she had me do becuase she didnt want to be on the pill. From what i read, it exists (i had complications) and theres no fix other than testosterone replacement. That obamacare doesnt cover.

    1. Inbetween


      So Ive been reading up on something called PSSD- Post SSRI Sexual Disorder. Some people have sexual dysfunction from the medicine which clears up once they are off it. However, some people have gone years, decades, forever with it and never getting better. There really isnt a fix for it. The thing is that I have been off SSRIs for 6 months and am getting off abilify now. Wellbutrin isn't supposed to contribute.

      So it's either from 1) the meds, which may or may not clear up once Im off Abilify, 2) low testosterone, which I can get replacement theory that I pay out of pocket and have to give myself shots every three few weeks, or 3) permanent damage from the vasectomy.  Oh boy.

  10. So i never got a strait answer from her on why she left me and wanted the divorce. Having that unresolved is tought. I can guess that it was a combinatiom of her having a mid life crisis, meeting someone else, my breakdown and depression, my sexual dysfunction. Her family influenced her also. They never liked me. 

  11. I really miss my ex wife today. I would give up everything just to have her vack in my life. Loosing her was ghe worse thing this illness did to me. Id rather have died.

    1. lex333


      I really relate to your posts about your ex-wife... I have been struggling with the end of a relationship  , that started this major depressive episode I find myself in. 

    2. Inbetween


      Thanks Lex. I was 4-5 months into my 3rd major depressive episode in my life, and was just starting to get better when she left. I understand what you say- the loss put me back into depression and I ended up inpatient hospital for a few days.

  12. So ive been on abilify for 2.5 years. My blood sugar has gone up. This year it was at 123, almost diabetic, so my pdoc finally agreed that i should quit it. Has anyone quit it and had their sugar level go back to normal or will it be stuck high? My pdoc doesnt know.
  13. Disclaimer: Im on abilify (trying to get off) and Wellbutrin. I would recommend against ever getting onto an antipsychotic like Abilify as an add-on for depression, unless it is the last possible choice. They are very strong and hard to get off of. It can cause a host of side effects, from diabetes (im just shy of that) to tremors. Sometimes they do not go away even after you stop. I would really just try SSRIs/Antidepressants first and even if you have mood drops, maybe get counseling. I was hospitalized when they put me on Abilify, I questioned it then and regret taking it although there wasnt much of a choice.
  14. I weened down to 1mg daily. Three weeks ago I went every other day (M, W, F). I have having serious depression, head ache, muscle pain. Everytime I tried to stop from 1mg I got these symptoms too. Not very enlightning on people saying it will take months. I dont know how I will be able to function at work like this for a month. FYI to get it out of your system completely: the half life is 75 hours (about 3 days) and it takes 5 half lives (15 days) to get it down to a small amount about 3%, 7 half lives (21 days) to get it under 1%. Even when its out of your system you have withdrawals. :-(
  15. Not doing well. Major depression since cutting abilify back, right at the 3 week mark. head huts. sad. alone. missing my exwife. feeling frustrated.no motivation. feeling helpless. god i hope i make it through this.

  16. FML.

    1) On Abilify for a few years as an adjunct to Wellbutrin, since the hospital stay, but tests show that blood sugar, weight, and cholesterol are high, so Im trying to get off Abilify. Sucks. Depression.

    2) Realized that Im pretty much asexual. Testosterone levels were below normal. No desire, ED. Doctor doesnt want to put me on T-shots, and insurance wont cover a damn thing to do with sexual dysfunction. Doctor does not know why it is low. I blame SSRIs. Anyway, I can't really meet a girl if I dont have any desire. I feel like Austin Powers when he lost his mojo.

    3) Realized that I have no friends to do anything with, and dont know how to make friends. All my 'friends' I have here are acquaintances, and wont/ant/too busy to hang out. So do I quit my job and sell the house and move back to the town my family is in? Would it be any better there?

    So that pretty much sums up my life. Its a s***hole right now.

  17. I miss my wife. I dont enjoy life without her in it. :-(

  18. Celexa worked for me for about 12 years also, then stopped working. Took a number of months to get on something that worked. Things will get better, but expect 2-3 months for a new AD to kick in. But it will eventually!
  19. I am on Zoloft 100 and my pdoc added 300mg Wellbutrin. I haven't felt a difference. Both meds are generics.
  20. How are you doing? Worried.

  21. It's been two years since my ex left me, after being together for over 17 years. A day doesnt go by where I dont think of her, and I still have dreams with her in them almost every night. I realize I need to move on, that she will never contact me again, that she won't be in my life again. I'm not sure what I need to do, but I need to do something and do it now. Two years is a long time.

  22. How ya doing buddy?

    1. lflick


      pretty good today





    2. lflick


      I have heard voices at random all my life as long as I can remember since I was 4-5yrs old

  23. Are you better off with him as a friend or without? Relationships do not need to be binary: all on or all off. It sounds like you do enjoy time when physically there, so maybe just knock him down to a sometimes-friend and look for someone else as a always-friend. Just my 2 cents.
  24. I met a friend a year and a half ago. Ended up that he has BPD. Ive stuck by his side through 4 times of him "hating me" phase. This is the 5th time, and he has come out in love with me. Is it selfish to end the freindship? Between him again blaming me for everything with horrible texts to me, and I dont feel comfortable now with him in love with me (im a straight guy) as it will now be there in the friendship. Not sure if I explained enough, im texting on a phone. Anyway, im burned out with his BPD episodes that he never takes respondibility for and says that he has gotten over BPD which he hasnt, just doesnt see it and wont seek help anymore. Thoughts?
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