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Status Updates posted by Inbetween

  1. Hope all is well Waffles!

  2. Miss you. Hang in there things are not as bad as they might seem. 

  3. Not a good day. Nightmares. Woke early. Depression and anxiety. Missimg my ex. Sad. I think its abilify withdrawls. Im level on it but high blood sugar and cholesterol. Om depressed off it. Dont know what to do

  4. I wish there had been a way to keep my ex-wife. I'm the kind of person that thinks about solutions, but there's no solution to it. I wish I had spent more time with her doing fun stuff, going on vacations, going to a movie. I wish I had laid next to her a few more nights. I wish I didn't have depression. But ultimately, for whatever reasons she left me, there wasn't much I could have done before and nothing I could have done once she made her decision. If it was living with someone with depression, either when I wasn't depressed I still had side effects from the meds, or while I was depressed and difficult for her to be with. I think in the end, she had a mid-life crisis, and decided that she wanted to experience stuff she was not able to being married and in the life she had, so there wasn't a damn thing I could have done.

    I've been missing her all weekend. It's tough.

  5. I miss my best friend.

  6. Just got off the phone with my mother. I wish she understood basic geography. The 3 hour distance between my house and theirs is the dame no matter on what direction you travel. Therefor, it is not easier for me to come visit them. In addition they have a 3 day weekend whereas i only have two days.

  7. So  pretty sure that my ED is from the vascemity that she had me do becuase she didnt want to be on the pill. From what i read, it exists (i had complications) and theres no fix other than testosterone replacement. That obamacare doesnt cover.

    1. Inbetween


      So Ive been reading up on something called PSSD- Post SSRI Sexual Disorder. Some people have sexual dysfunction from the medicine which clears up once they are off it. However, some people have gone years, decades, forever with it and never getting better. There really isnt a fix for it. The thing is that I have been off SSRIs for 6 months and am getting off abilify now. Wellbutrin isn't supposed to contribute.

      So it's either from 1) the meds, which may or may not clear up once Im off Abilify, 2) low testosterone, which I can get replacement theory that I pay out of pocket and have to give myself shots every three few weeks, or 3) permanent damage from the vasectomy.  Oh boy.

  8. So i never got a strait answer from her on why she left me and wanted the divorce. Having that unresolved is tought. I can guess that it was a combinatiom of her having a mid life crisis, meeting someone else, my breakdown and depression, my sexual dysfunction. Her family influenced her also. They never liked me. 

  9. I really miss my ex wife today. I would give up everything just to have her vack in my life. Loosing her was ghe worse thing this illness did to me. Id rather have died.

    1. lex333


      I really relate to your posts about your ex-wife... I have been struggling with the end of a relationship  , that started this major depressive episode I find myself in. 

    2. Inbetween


      Thanks Lex. I was 4-5 months into my 3rd major depressive episode in my life, and was just starting to get better when she left. I understand what you say- the loss put me back into depression and I ended up inpatient hospital for a few days.

  10. Not doing well. Major depression since cutting abilify back, right at the 3 week mark. head huts. sad. alone. missing my exwife. feeling frustrated.no motivation. feeling helpless. god i hope i make it through this.

  11. FML.

    1) On Abilify for a few years as an adjunct to Wellbutrin, since the hospital stay, but tests show that blood sugar, weight, and cholesterol are high, so Im trying to get off Abilify. Sucks. Depression.

    2) Realized that Im pretty much asexual. Testosterone levels were below normal. No desire, ED. Doctor doesnt want to put me on T-shots, and insurance wont cover a damn thing to do with sexual dysfunction. Doctor does not know why it is low. I blame SSRIs. Anyway, I can't really meet a girl if I dont have any desire. I feel like Austin Powers when he lost his mojo.

    3) Realized that I have no friends to do anything with, and dont know how to make friends. All my 'friends' I have here are acquaintances, and wont/ant/too busy to hang out. So do I quit my job and sell the house and move back to the town my family is in? Would it be any better there?

    So that pretty much sums up my life. Its a s***hole right now.

  12. I miss my wife. I dont enjoy life without her in it. :-(

  13. How are you doing? Worried.

  14. It's been two years since my ex left me, after being together for over 17 years. A day doesnt go by where I dont think of her, and I still have dreams with her in them almost every night. I realize I need to move on, that she will never contact me again, that she won't be in my life again. I'm not sure what I need to do, but I need to do something and do it now. Two years is a long time.

  15. How ya doing buddy?

    1. lflick


      pretty good today





    2. lflick


      I have heard voices at random all my life as long as I can remember since I was 4-5yrs old

  16. depression sucks

  17. not doing well today.

  18. Good for you, Flash.

  19. I wear Black on the outside 'Cause Black is how I feel on the inside And if I seem a little strange Well, that's because I am

    1. flasquish


      You're going to get better! Chat soon.

  20. Tired but Wired. Thanks, Zoloft! (ativan to the rescue!)

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