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smithci

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Everything posted by smithci

  1. Thanks for the reply.. The problem for me is that was had a ridiculous amount in common so now I am surrounded by constant reminders and triggers about her. There's no way I'll be going back on meds. They numb you out too much from experience and cause other problems to worry about . I went to boxer fit tonight and was thinking about things as I hit the bags. It definitely helped as depression is definately anger turned inwards. I was on a waiting list for therapy and I've just started sessions. So I'm gonna mention some of this to her tommorow.. Thanks again
  2. Hi I also posted this in the central forum but I thought I should post here as I've had anhedonia for the most part of this year. It also rings true as to how emotional trauma can numb us to good feelings... I have not been on the forum for a while as I truly believed my depression had lifted, infact I didn't even think about I had a nightmare with depression the first 6 months this year , trying different meds , battling suicidal thoughts etc. I then in June decided to give up on meds and treat the depression though diet and amino acids. I used to the book 'The way up from down' by Patricia Slagle. It worked!!! My sleeping was still bad but everything else was great... I mean really great and the sleep did not bother me at all. I then got talking to an absolutely amazing girl online. We spoke none stop for 2 months but we only met up twice, Our interests and sense of humour were so much a like. This was a massive spring in my step. Other little flings I've had random feelings of guilt about my ex but never with her. I was just so happy. Unfortunately she said she couldn't be in a dating situation because she had guilt about her ex, they were together for over 10 years. I was OK at first but then I noticed she was still on the dating website. I eventually lost it with her and said she should forget about me. Maybe I was trying play her a little. She claimed she was just laughing at the idiots on there messaging her, but the low self esteem negative side of my didn't believe it. She was always so nice to me and I threw it back in her face.. I even deleted her off my facebook. I immediately apologized the following day, she was OK and we were talking again as normal. A week later I posted some photos of a vacation I'd recently been on. I told her about the facebook delete during my rage. Then I got no replies, like at all. She ignored me on whatsapp and ignored my calls. I said look if you do not want to talk just say and I'll sadly be on my way. But no ackowledgement at all. I said look I'm tempted to call round to your house please just talk to me. So I did call round but no answer, I know it was wrong now but the jetlag and hangover I was in a really bad way. She then appeared to have blocked me on facebook, dating site and whatsapp. I tried sending her a little thing from my holidays but she just returned it. Since then i cannot stop ruminating about it and cant get any feelings of pleasure anymore : ( I am not going on meds but i have started IPT therapy. I'm waking earlier and earlier in the mornings too , I'm still exercising etc but i'm getting really exhausted. How do I stop the ruminating and get over an amazing person that wont talk to me and hates me??
  3. Hi I have not been on the forum for a while as I truly believed my depression had lifted, infact I didn't even think about I had a nightmare with depression the first 6 months this year , trying different meds , battling suicidal thoughts etc. I then in June decided to give up on meds and treat the depression though diet and amino acids. I used to the book 'The way up from down' by Patricia Slagle. It worked!!! My sleeping was still bad but everything else was great... I mean really great and the sleep did not bother me at all. I then got talking to an absolutely amazing girl online. We spoke none stop for 2 months but we only met up twice, Our interests and sense of humour were so much a like. This was a massive spring in my step. Other little flings I've had random feelings of guilt about my ex but never with her. I was just so happy. Unfortunately she said she couldn't be in a dating situation because she had guilt about her ex, they were together for over 10 years. I was OK at first but then I noticed she was still on the dating website. I eventually lost it with her and said she should forget about me. Maybe I was trying play her a little. She claimed she was just laughing at the idiots on there messaging her, but the low self esteem negative side of my didn't believe it. She was always so nice to me and I threw it back in her face.. I even deleted her off my facebook. I immediately apologized the following day, she was OK and we were talking again as normal. A week later I posted some photos of a vacation I'd recently been on. I told her about the facebook delete during my rage. Then I got no replies, like at all. She ignored me on whatsapp and ignored my calls. I said look if you do not want to talk just say and I'll sadly be on my way. But no ackowledgement at all. I said look I'm tempted to call round to your house please just talk to me. So I did call round but no answer, I know it was wrong now but the jetlag and hangover I was in a really bad way. She then appeared to have blocked me on facebook, dating site and whatsapp. I tried sending her a little thing from my holidays but she just returned it. Since then i cannot stop ruminating about it and cant get any feelings of pleasure anymore : ( I am not going on meds but i have started IPT therapy. I'm waking earlier and earlier in the mornings too , I'm still exercising etc but i'm getting really exhausted. How do I stop the ruminating and get over an amazing person that wont talk to me and hates me??
  4. Are you going to post what has worked for you Trevor?? I assumed that you're cured and enjoying you're life again
  5. Tibu u need to get the book 'The way up from down' it's free as a pdf download but I also got a hard copy for myself.. My doctor told me whatever you're doing keep doing it
  6. What tibu said. This is working for me!! I cannot explain how much. Along with b vitamins ofcourse and general healthy living
  7. Does anyone know what happened to Hands Up?? I have been off sertraline now for a week and I only get the odd headzap. Nothing uncomfortable or distressing tho. Yes I also believe psychiatric drugs can make you worse, especially the way the prescribing docs don't exactly know if and how they actually work. Now I'm just taking b vitamin and amino with good results.. Libido still low but I am interested in talking to girls again.. I can also feel little emotions sometimes when watching films. They are definately there
  8. I am using 5htp at night and l tyrosine through the day. Seeing great results
  9. Mine has Gone too!!! I have been tapering off my horrible useless meds and have been using amino acids and vitamins to help me. I probably won't visit the forum as much now but will always be here to help people and if people message. Just wish my libido would hurry up and return as I've gotten to know a really nice girl recently lol
  10. I feel better than I have done in a long time.. It gets better and better everyday!!
  11. Well I'm down to 25mg sertraline now.. Looking to take every other day next week then stopping. I have been taking the supplements and vitamins advised in the book The Way up from down by Priscilla slagle . I am seeing huge improvements everyday. I'm cracking jokes without thinking.. I'm noticing girls more. I went bowling with friends last night and had a great time. I am avoiding caffeine and sugar and drinking once a week but being careful. This is someone who was so hopeless and bored of life month ago they felt suicidal. I can only recommend you give the book a read.. It's free in pdf format online. It hasn't cured the anhedonia completely yet but I'm seeing improvements all the time at a dramatic rate. I am truly starting to enjoy life again and I've got no doctor or therapist who has seen me to thank for it.. Only the lady who wrote that book
  12. The mental health system in the UK terrible in my experience I have no faith in meds or doctors. Currently I'm using amino acids and vitamins for depression from the book 'The way up from down' The supplements can be expensive but very happy to say. It works!! :)
  13. I am using the supplement methods from the book 'The way up from down' I am also seeing promising results so far
  14. I have been tapering off and using http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/topic/96994-curing-depression-with-amino-acids-and-vitamins/#entry1090006 I feel great long may it continue
  15. Been following the methods from 'the way up from down' .. So far I'm seeing g fantastic results!!
  16. I'm trying this as Zoloft is not working for me and I'm sick of being numb like a ****** zombie Tried messaging the original poster but no reply. I need to know where I can get the pharmecutical grade multi vit
  17. What improvements are you noticing Trevor? Are you still taking the drug free mindful route?
  18. I wish I could just sleep properly I have to take an anti histamine sleeping pill every other night or my mood seriously drops if I don't sleep.. Then I end up crying my eyes out Why the hell did they give me such a stimulating drug when sleep has always been a big issue for me
  19. I was referred to a psych once but I just gave up asking because I never heard anything. I just don't think I can take anymore meds and side effects. I never had suicidal feelings until I started trying meds
  20. I'm on 100mg and he won't put me higher than that.. Anyway that'll just mean stronger side effects. It's pretty much impossible to see a psychiatrist in the UK.
  21. Giving up on sertraline.. 10 weeks now and no improvement what the hell am I meant to do?? I can't take the insomnia and everyone of these drugs just make me feel numb yet I can still feel the depression. With the doctors lack of knowledge on depression I don't know what I can do next
  22. I'm thinking of stopping sertraline.. Feeling more depressed, insomnia.. Doing lots of positive things exercise and diet having no effect. Anhedonia means no positive reinforcement. My future seems bleak, suppose it serves me right for being on paxil for 10 years Mindfulness and natural recovery is my last hope I think.
  23. Still getting the headaches and depression and insomnia is worse.. These pills have done nothing for me. I'm seriously losing hope. Seeing my doctor on Saturday
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