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Everything posted by smithci

  1. Hi I'm in pretty bad way at the moment. Paxil has worked for me in the past, but the start up side effects are horrific Me at the moment I either have no emotional or I'm feeling really low.. I never get restful sleep and my libido is pretty much non existent I'm worried the pills will **** off my libido completely. they didn't in the past and it just took me longer to climax. I know no one can give me a real answer here but would like to know your thoughts and get support.. Thanks
  2. I was on and off this for years. I'm a male, Didnt affect my sex drive or pleasure. Perhaps maybe increased it, but took me very long to finish!
  3. Do you drink caffeine? I have not touched any for the last few days, not even in the morning and I have noticed some improvement with sleep
  4. A write up on tackling the feeling of emptiness inside. Some may find this helpful, some may not http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-get-rid-of-persistent-feeling-of-emptiness/?utm_content=bufferb28ad&utm_medium=social&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_campaign=buffer
  5. I think depressed people are drawn to porn because they seek out any form of feeling of excitement that's possible I think depressed people seek alot of unnatural sources of happiness
  6. Ditto I went out Saturday night with friends and truthfully had a good time, just need my confidence back with the ladies now!
  7. It totally makes sense I think.. We don't realise we do so many un natural things to stimulate our feel good hormones we take so much for granted I think the same sorta thing with stuff like social networking and dating sites.. A lot of it is a false ego / dopamine boost
  8. I've abstained from porn and social media for the last few days and could be nothing but I'm feeling more positive and felt good about some things!
  9. Amphetamine use SSRI Use Heartbreak that will never be resolved I'm a tired exhausted robot now I still however refuse to believe this is permanent
  10. I used to watch quite a bit but not much at all now as i have pretty much zero sex drive. Theres probably a lot of truth in this, I could easy go without
  11. What do people sleep like? I normally wake up too early or when I do sleep I dream the whole time and feel even more exhausted when I wake up If I can cut down More on the rumination and negative introspection throughout the day I should dream less and hopefully break the cycle
  12. One thing that had helped me definitely mindfulness.. And this is very hard to practice when really depressed and you must do your sessions even when you are feeling well. With anhedonia I have spent months doing activies and expecting something to happen.. Lately over the last few weeks I have changed my attitude and somehow without expected anything I'm definitely starting to notice more improvements. The problem is when you're expecting and hoping for something you get disappointed.. This leads to stress and feeling hopeless. I believe stress is the cause of anhedonia, anhedonia is one of the worst forms of depression. I believe stress is what robs us of our feel good emotions, it's like anything.. The opposite cancels out the opposite. I have lived with thoughts and feeling of sorrow and guilt. What mindfulness has taught me over time is to observe these thoughts and feelings, don't fight them and they lose there destructive punch over time. Oh and my libido and general interest in things is coming back :-D I believe the mindful approach worked for trevor in the end And I know the approach won't work for everyone
  13. I've had some Windows the last few days. I've had a few lightbulb moments I believe this due to being mindful and avoiding stress
  14. I just wish I could enjoy something. I want to actually 'want' to do something rather than I have to do something
  15. Ever since my breakdown I don't feel any sexual excitement anymore.. I'm not on any meds and used to have a very high sex drive and I'm only a 34 year old male I still manage to eat well and stay in shape despite anhedonia Infact I don't get excited about anything This scares the hell out of me Is it permanent??
  16. I'd say I'm quite obsessed but I know it's counter productive. I also believe that my condition is psychological not physical. Early last year I had a deep and dark depression.. Trying different meds.. Therapy.. I ended up ringing local crisis team once and checking myself into hospital due to extreme suicidal thoughts. I missed going on a holiday with friends because I was so ill I flushed meds, therapy was useless and took the supplements and exercise route. This gave me energy.. Then from out of no where I met an amazing girl. I felt alive again and the world had colour. Long story short there were misunderstandings, I hurt her a little and she hurt me back 10 fold. My depression never fully returned but anhedonia certainly has (this how I know it's a psychological problem) I've had a brief relationship since that and moments where I felt sexual desire and actually enjoyed the sex too. But we both knew it's was going no where. I still ruminate a lot about the great girl. Mindfulness seems to be helping the more I practice. Sometimes a little frustrating, but better than staring at the wall or endless negative stories about anhedonia I have windows, Tuesday I felt very positive but yesterday was full of rumination. Took a sleeping pill and just went to bed Funny things make me smile but not laugh and I try to see that more or a building block than a problem I could go on all day but it's best not to obsess
  17. Diphenhydramine and promethazine 50 mg every couple of days.. Mindfulness sleeping exercises are also helping with the early morning waking and they put me back to sleep I never feel truly rested though
  18. Sleep is a major problem for me too. So sleeping pills that I take every so often are probably making me tread water too
  19. Alcohol bit definately rings true with me.. Major lack of interest in anything, rumination, thinking bad events from the past and dread about the future It's difficult as it's the only chance I get socialise with my real friends (which is meant to help with depression) but you are right.. To get well I really need to stay off it.. I'm also a sucker for coffee in the morning which is also a serious neuro transmitter munched
  20. Well I just don't enjoy anything or get excited I had a brief window a few weeks back where I genuinely laughed without faking..
  21. I tried licorice root for 3 weeks and it did nothing for me
  22. Anhedonia for me, second is rumination. Which is worsened by anhedonia because you can't occupy your mind with anything. Rumination recently caused by a girl cutting contact with me without a word
  23. Thank you so much for taking the time to reply Boxerfit helps and I try to think of this stuff as I'm hitting the bag. I just wish I could stop other times She did tell me once that if people wrong her she turns totally passive aggressive on them. But I was so upset at the time and didn't see what she was doing, and then when I noticed she had blocked me I cried my eyes out and was nearly sick. I am dating someone at the moment but I'm not sure where it's going. She seems to like me and I fancy her I just wish I could clear my mind and actually enjoy things
  24. Ok so I know it is my fault but No change Just getting worse. She's not in my life yet she is ******* me everyday How do I get rid of the anger pent up inside? I just want her out of my mind
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