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smithci

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Everything posted by smithci

  1. I feel like things are never gonna get better for me and this has been going on too long now
  2. I would give this a go but it's pretty expensive in the UK
  3. I actually want to have goals but nothing whatsoever interests, excites me or gives me pleasure. I think certain parts of my 'good' brain are just fried and there's no hope for me. I have been crying about this all morning
  4. Hi Christina Thank you I'm seeing doctor tommorow but it's doubtful he'll give anything for the anxiety.. I'm in the UK and they tend to just tell you to bare with it as best you can. I'm also asking for a therapist referral
  5. Feel awful day 6 of paxil. Woke up 3am with anxiety and awful butterflies Lying on the sofa now, watching old tv shows just to pass each hour. Millions of negative thoughts flowing through my head :-( :-( :-(
  6. Thanks I believe itstrevor (starter of this whole forum) did a similar thing with sertraline but that was to get rid of his anxiety. Then I think he just avoided stress And he is now cured from anhedonia
  7. Thanks so much guys Feeling really pessimistic right now.. Thoughts like 'I'll never enjoy travelling again' .. 'I'll never feel anything when I kiss a woman' blah blah.. It's so frustrating that doctors nor therapists understand our condition
  8. Thanks freckledface ?
  9. OK so I'm back on paxil( day 5). It has worked for depression for me in the past and I need some relief from my symptoms otherwise my life is totally going to fall apart. Job wise mainly I've been on paxil before for long periods of time and I didn't even know what anhedonia was so maybe I just enjoyed the way I was numb. Happy numb My symptoms with this bout of depression are early morning waking, unrestful sleep, fatigue, morbid thoughts, suicidal thoughts, excessive regret and guilt and ANHEDONIA... though it's not the type that is popular on this forum though because I can still feel negative emotions My libido is pretty sapped with the depression , tho I do still find masterbation somewhat pleasurable there's no real desire to get a woman though this may come back when my mood lifts But is it the fact that I don't enjoy anything the reason that causes the depression!?! Arrgh maybe but psychiatry is so limited in the UK, they just throw different pills at you to get you out of the door Anyways, my plan is to relieve some of my symptoms with this medication. I'm on 20mg, tho 10 mg has been effective for me in the past.. I'll drop down to 10 mg after some good months of SLEEP and no stress, hopefully some degree of happiness then see how I go from there. Feel free to discuss and I shall keep people posted.. Pleas don't reply dissing ssris or paxil!! believe me I've thought long and hard about this and have read all the negatives / horror stories. Best to you all Chris
  10. OK so I'm back on paxil( day 5). It has worked for depression for me in the past and I need some relief from my symptoms otherwise my life is totally going to fall apart. Job wise mainly I've been on paxil before for long periods of time and I didn't even know what anhedonia was so maybe I just enjoyed the way I was numb. Happy numb My symptoms with this bout of depression are early morning waking, unrestful sleep, fatigue, morbid thoughts, suicidal thoughts, excessive regret and guilt and ANHEDONIA... though it's not the type that is popular on this forum though because I can still feel negative emotions My libido is pretty sapped with the depression , tho I do still find masterbation somewhat pleasurable there's no real desire to get a woman though this may come back when my mood lifts But is it the fact that I don't enjoy anything the reason that causes the depression!?! Arrgh maybe but psychiatry is so limited in the UK, they just throw different pills at you to get you out of the door Anyways, my plan is to relieve some of my symptoms with this medication. I'm on 20mg, tho 10 mg has been effective for me in the past.. I'll drop down to 10 mg after some good months of SLEEP and no stress, hopefully some degree of happiness then see how I go from there. Feel free to discuss and I shall keep people posted.. Pleas don't reply dissing ssris or paxil!! believe me I've thought long and hard about this and have read all the negatives / horror stories. Best to you all Chris
  11. I'd be the same. I'd rather not be next to anyone maybe unless I knew them and I'd forgot my earphones!
  12. I've resisted going back on meds for ages but thrown in the towel because I desperately need deep sleep and energy.. I am worried about emotional numbing tho My depression has already made me numb to positive feelings
  13. I'm not an obsessive gamer but some of the games they produce these days are better than movies.. Grand theft auto, arkham batman, uncharted series, recently completed far cry
  14. Went to gym.. Managed 9 chin ups off the belt with good form. I used to barely able to do 1 Still feeling pretty good, gonna watch last night's ufc
  15. I've just started taking meds ( paxil ) again , 3 rd day , hoping they'll help my depression (low energy, lack of enjoyment/interest, early morning waking and shallow sleeping) Paxil hasnt dented my sexual desire in the past but right now I just basically dont get pleasure from anything including sex since my traumatic breakdown and resulting depression. I hope the pills don't bury the mojo more, I'm hoping if my mood lifts my pleasures will return because when I am well I really enjoy dating / being in a relationship Anyone been in a similar pickle?? Chris , also feel free to pm , facebook etc
  16. Thanks Lauryn I worry because even when I've been depressed before and on meds I've always had a high drive but since I had my last breakdown it's gone I'm just kind of worried about what happens next
  17. Ok so here's the thing I've been suffering depression for a year and half now and been refusing to use medication. My depression has been pretty bad as of late with shallow sleeping with waking 2 am and not getting back to sleep, pretty much constant low mood, morbid thoughts, major lack of interest or enjoyment in things including SEX ? Ive decided to take paxil again as it has worked for my depression in the past very well and never really affected my libido, just took longer to finish I'm a little scared my libido will never resurface!? And paxil will bury it more or maybe it will resurface once my mood and other symptoms lift!?! I'm not in a relationship at the moment but would like to be one day when I like being in my own skin again. Just looking for anyone with similar experience or just a few words of hope Thank you Chris
  18. Been on the tablets 2 days now and feeling ok just still depressed but that's expected I've been taking them with a light snack at 6am in the morning but then I need the toilet an hour a later, I worry if they are actually getting into my system?
  19. I often refer to the daily mail as the daily fail.. Absolutely horrible newspaper
  20. Thanks for the kind words Michelle. In the past for the first 2 weeks I'm pretty much unable to sleep at all! Then when they begin to take effect I sleep at like a baby and I'm so looking forward to that All the best to you
  21. Basically I'm struggling at work today after a year and a half with mostly deep anhedonic, sleepless depression I'm seeing my doctor tonight and going to ask for a prescription of paroxetine (paxil) which has worked more than once before. I'm also going to ask if he'll sign me off sick as I'm barely unable to function now never mind with having to cope with brutal two week start effects of paxil. So far I plan on lying around, watching things I've seen before but once enjoyed (and won't require much concentration), easy video games and only reading positive stuff on the net about depression. I am gonna try and get to gym but I also can't stress enough how sick, agitated and weak these drugs make you feel for the the first few weeks:-( Basically does anyone have any tips for the next few weeks for me!? And private message, fb chat or whatsapp support would be great for the next few weeks too. Please don't tell me not to take the paxil. I've weened off them before with no issues whatsoever and I've read every horror story Chris
  22. The dating game can be brutal if you have depression, take care of the depression first. I've been doing the opposite for ages I'm having a break from dating, Due to depression my sex drive is very low anyways yet I've no problem attracting the ladies. I need to be honest with myself and take care of the depression first otherwise things just won't work out the right way
  23. After trying for months and months I have decided I'm simply one of those people that need medication. Seeing doctor tommorow to go back on paroxetine (paxil) Dreading the initial 2 weeks side effects but it will be worth it. I need my life back, feeling positive about this decision though :-)
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