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Everything posted by smithci

  1. Hi I've been taking paxil for 5 weeks now it has worked in the past for me after 2 weeks I had been taking 20mg for 4 weeks and experienced suicidal thoughts and increased depression and crying. The doctor increased my dose to 30mg a week ago. But my mood has worsened. How would I go about switching? I know it's up to my doctor but the thing that worries me is that everyone says different things!?! Thanks
  2. So far it's not working for me. 4 weeks at 20mg and now week 5 at 30mg
  3. Spoke to soon I feel like again.. I've only had one good day
  4. The doc has bumped me up to 30mgs today
  5. It sounds like your focusing all your energy on getting a date This has been my downfall in the past. Do you have hobbies and interests?
  6. Nearly 4 weeks on the paxil now and no real change. Although the suicidal thoughts seem to be a little less. I just don't feel hopeful I feel like I've made the right choice going back on medication :-( Why won't my mood lift??!?!?
  7. Paxil started kicking in when I woke up this morning. I haven't felt suicidal at all today, compared to the last three weeks I feel great It's the first day I haven't sat on the Internet all day Been watching some clips from my old favorite movies and got tingles.. I do feel numb still but hopefully things will level out though
  8. Feeling much much better today!! Think meds are starting to kick in
  9. I've done nothing Still waiting for meds to kicks in.. Over 3 weeks now, got splitting headache right now I have discovered though that I think I have suffered dysthymia since I was 10, which should help when I start therapy
  10. If I'm honest I only come here when I'm feeling down, like I'm sure many people do. I do honestly appreciate people's advice and kind words though
  11. I'm not sure what to do I've been on paxil for 3 weeks now for depression and mood has been dangerously low every morning. Bad thought and a lot of suicide My doctor says I need to just try and wait it out. He gave me some zoplicone to help with sleep but it's not really helping I try to go out and do things but it just doesn't go away. Sometimes it doesn't let up in the evening and sleep is the only break I get from it I'm not sure what to do? Have others been in this situation?? Should it be a dosage increase or change of meds?? I know I haven't given it the 6 weeks but it should not be getting worse like this
  12. I cry but don't feel any relief from it. Sometimes I can't cry when I feel like it and I get a headache
  13. Thank you positivenegative. That means a lot
  14. Thanks Michelle. I think it's the fact that I've lived most of my adult life without real emotions is one of the things that makes me depressed now Such a complicated problem for me personally
  15. 10 or more years ago I went on paxil I was ignorant and remained at the full 20mg dose for 5 or so years I then tapered but then started anxiety and went back to full dose Later I was in a good place and tapered and remained med free for 2 years with no issues and had many happy times I never used to go on message boards, Internet etc obsessing about medication and it's effects on emotions and sexual function At the end of those 2 years I wasn't happy and stress got to me I ended up back on paxil, even tho I probably didn't need it My relationship lasted another 10 months and I decided to end it. I thought I was fine, the following year I bought my own house, loving it, single guy 33 no baggage. Slowly tapering off meds, I was dating again loving life I was off medication and noticed I started waking earlier and earlier in the mornings, I also felt deep guilt and regret for leaving my former long term partner. Think back now I just simply wasnt used to feeling normal emotions. By the new year of 2014 I couldn't take it and went back to the doctors for pills, but I convinced myself I could do without. I was off and on different pills for the next 5 or 6 month then I decided enough is enough and I started using amino acids and felt great. I met a girl who I deeply fell for but she did not feel the same and one thing let to another and she just cut me off completely dead. This sent my ruminating mind off again So 10 or so months later I'm here back on meds, 3 weeks in and starting to feel a little better. I know I'll have to be on them for at least 6 months or so and I need them so I can sleep at night and give my brain a break from stress. I'm going into therapy too to learn tools hopefully that will prevent this reoccurring. My question is it at all possible for me to be free from numbing meds??? Have I stunted my emotional growth so much over the years that I'm unable to cope with life?? The last two years I've had suicidal ideation which has never previously been the case. Also cruel anhedonia about pretty much everything
  16. Christina. I've had a much better day today, mornings are still dark though Sorry to see your feeling bad hope you feel better very soon.. Hugs
  17. I'm looking forward to one day feeling well again and going back to work
  18. I don't know what to do. I can't ever imagine living with all the mistakes I have made in my life I took some sleeping pills last night and feel a bit better today but I don't know if my medication is doing anything. I don't feel as suicidal as I did yesterday
  19. Thanks guys Depression, medication bah I don't know what my real feelings are anymore
  20. I have been takin 20mg of paxil for just over two weeks I thought it would have at least given me a lift by now but nothing I've tried mirtazapine before that made me totally numb
  21. It's really pushing me over the edge today Sick of talking to clueless doctors and therapists about this. There's no cure
  22. I know you're not meant to sit and think about why you may be depressed as it can make you worse but I'm struggling Over 2 years ago. I broke up from a five year relationship from my girlfriend and best friend. I thought I wasn't happy and was taking ssris when we broke up. I don't think I empathised enough or knew my true feelings Earlier on in the relationship it was good but I drank alot and she put on a fair bit of weight, lost confidence and it put a dampener on our relationship sex wise I'm going through a depression at the moment and I'm back on paxil, have been for a few weeks, as it's the only thing that has helped me in the past, I'm also a awaiting counselling . But I keep thinking about this girl and all the laughs we used to have and how bad treat her at times and how cold and unemotional I was after the break up I've had a lot of sexual partners since but nothing has ever worked out. This depression has totally zapped my sex drive too over this last year. I'm 34 and I know there's more to life and having a partner kids etc but my anhedonic self finds it hard to set goals. She seems to be getting on fine, I think she's only had one partner since and she's now a certified foster carer but not looking after any child yet. At least she's making something of her life.. I wish I could make something of mine. I have my own house, good job but stay at my mams alot for the company, such a loser. No real close friends and the friends I have are married off with kids I'm not even sure where I'm meant to be going with this, I guess I'm just lonely.. I deserve it for being so selfish Has anyone been in a similar situation?? Chris
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