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quentin360

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  1. Sad
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but   
    Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but mostly lows over the past months and it's just a vicious cycle that I hate so much. I'm still getting out of the house and doing what I can to help others which is always good therapy but not so much here lately. I never really got a sense of reward or a sense of positive feelings from helping others but at least I had something to do with my time. Don't feel too much like writing this but I thought I would let some of you know I'm still alive. Today I stayed home instead of going to the hand of hope ministry and I always regret when I don't go. I found that when it comes to a decision of either/or like a 50-50 decision that I always make the wrong one 50% of the time actually I mean 95% of the time. My vision has got so worse that I really cannot read the print on here unless I really enlarge it and then it still difficult. The prevailing ball on my mind fairly much at all times is how much I want to die and be done with it, life as it is. I don't want this but it stays in my thoughts. I mean I do want to die I guess I just don't want to miss anything if anything was to happen to better my mental status. The neuromuscular disease that I have has gotten worse and I find myself falling often and I'll be damned to be in a wheelchair and I don't know what to do about that. When I walk I'm scared all the time that I'm going to trip and fall. And if I were to break my leg or have to go into a wheelchair I've really screwed up that I don't have anybody that would be willing to take care of me that is helped take care of me because I burn too many bridges. I just tell my therapist what I think she wants to hear because it's just gotten old going in there and knowing that I feel like I'm still just a screwed up in the head as I was when I first started going. I become very close with my pastor and I don't want to let him down so that keeps me from being completely honest with him about how I really feel. Besides all he would want to do is pray for me and so far betting help one bit. Perhaps I need to spend more time here because I feel like I can talk about these things and nobodies going to judge me. It's really an oxymoron, as much as I want to die, I still want to live and that's all hope everyone is well.
  2. Sad
    quentin360 got a reaction from idkusername465 for a status update, Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but   
    Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but mostly lows over the past months and it's just a vicious cycle that I hate so much. I'm still getting out of the house and doing what I can to help others which is always good therapy but not so much here lately. I never really got a sense of reward or a sense of positive feelings from helping others but at least I had something to do with my time. Don't feel too much like writing this but I thought I would let some of you know I'm still alive. Today I stayed home instead of going to the hand of hope ministry and I always regret when I don't go. I found that when it comes to a decision of either/or like a 50-50 decision that I always make the wrong one 50% of the time actually I mean 95% of the time. My vision has got so worse that I really cannot read the print on here unless I really enlarge it and then it still difficult. The prevailing ball on my mind fairly much at all times is how much I want to die and be done with it, life as it is. I don't want this but it stays in my thoughts. I mean I do want to die I guess I just don't want to miss anything if anything was to happen to better my mental status. The neuromuscular disease that I have has gotten worse and I find myself falling often and I'll be damned to be in a wheelchair and I don't know what to do about that. When I walk I'm scared all the time that I'm going to trip and fall. And if I were to break my leg or have to go into a wheelchair I've really screwed up that I don't have anybody that would be willing to take care of me that is helped take care of me because I burn too many bridges. I just tell my therapist what I think she wants to hear because it's just gotten old going in there and knowing that I feel like I'm still just a screwed up in the head as I was when I first started going. I become very close with my pastor and I don't want to let him down so that keeps me from being completely honest with him about how I really feel. Besides all he would want to do is pray for me and so far betting help one bit. Perhaps I need to spend more time here because I feel like I can talk about these things and nobodies going to judge me. It's really an oxymoron, as much as I want to die, I still want to live and that's all hope everyone is well.
  3. Sad
    quentin360 got a reaction from Rattler6 for a status update, Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but   
    Hello everyone it's been a while since I've been on here. I've had highs and lows but mostly lows over the past months and it's just a vicious cycle that I hate so much. I'm still getting out of the house and doing what I can to help others which is always good therapy but not so much here lately. I never really got a sense of reward or a sense of positive feelings from helping others but at least I had something to do with my time. Don't feel too much like writing this but I thought I would let some of you know I'm still alive. Today I stayed home instead of going to the hand of hope ministry and I always regret when I don't go. I found that when it comes to a decision of either/or like a 50-50 decision that I always make the wrong one 50% of the time actually I mean 95% of the time. My vision has got so worse that I really cannot read the print on here unless I really enlarge it and then it still difficult. The prevailing ball on my mind fairly much at all times is how much I want to die and be done with it, life as it is. I don't want this but it stays in my thoughts. I mean I do want to die I guess I just don't want to miss anything if anything was to happen to better my mental status. The neuromuscular disease that I have has gotten worse and I find myself falling often and I'll be damned to be in a wheelchair and I don't know what to do about that. When I walk I'm scared all the time that I'm going to trip and fall. And if I were to break my leg or have to go into a wheelchair I've really screwed up that I don't have anybody that would be willing to take care of me that is helped take care of me because I burn too many bridges. I just tell my therapist what I think she wants to hear because it's just gotten old going in there and knowing that I feel like I'm still just a screwed up in the head as I was when I first started going. I become very close with my pastor and I don't want to let him down so that keeps me from being completely honest with him about how I really feel. Besides all he would want to do is pray for me and so far betting help one bit. Perhaps I need to spend more time here because I feel like I can talk about these things and nobodies going to judge me. It's really an oxymoron, as much as I want to die, I still want to live and that's all hope everyone is well.
  4. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Natasha1 for a status update, Hello everyone, it's been quite some time since I posted on your and I just wanted to   
    Hello everyone, it's been quite some time since I posted on your and I just wanted to give my status that I am still alive, struggling, but getting better. I know that I would be on here like every day for a long period of my severe depression episodes and it has been so good for me to get all the support that I have gotten on here from everyone. I had been, since 2011, just isolating myself here with only my thoughts to keep me company and that is not very good company at all. A a few months ago I finally took that leap of faith and started volunteering at a place called "Hand of Hope" here in my town and going to church with the pastor that runs it and it has so far been a great experience for me. To be able to get outside of myself and try to help others while at the same time helping myself. And I know that in the process I have neglected to at least touch base with you guys here, seeing as this is the best place I know of with a community of people that truly love and are concerned about me and others. I still fall into my "comfort zone"of sheer and frightening dark depression and I withdraw from everything and just stay home. But those are the times that I need to go and try to help others but we all know that in our depression we can be very selfish, not saying that's a bad thing that we do, it's just the way it is. We keep to ourselves and don't allow anyone else in our world, even though we must at times let other people that want to help us, help us. I will try to be in this community more often but I promise nothing because I am not very good of a promise keeper. So that's my status for today, Veterans Day 2017. Be good to yourselves my friends... Quentin
  5. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Jalen for a status update, Hello to everyone, that is hello to the two people that are on mine right now and to   
    Hello to everyone, that is hello to the two people that are on mine right now and to those that will get on later. I'm sorry I've not been around much as I have had one physical illness after another. I cannot sleep tonight it's 3:41 AM here and like this guy posted about, I too am not only lost, but also I feel like a completely broken man. I got a new puppy about a month ago and that brought some joy into my life. But being so sick, I guess I have lost it with her a couple times. The other day she once again on my floor and I threw her out and I cursed God, like I do too often and told him to please quit playing games with me, that he sent this dog into my already screwed up world only to on me and I could not care less if she came back or not. Well guess what, she did not come back all day long and I do she was dead somewhere. I absolutely fell apart like never before that I know of and cried so hard I thought my head would explode. I told God how sorry I was and to please let Keegan come back as she was going to be my one and only loving companion after losing my other dog. I told God that I give up and I give it all to you, that I surrender and I just want to die or if it's your will I want to live but nowhere near like I have been living for the past 20 ****ing years. I was so sick with my stomach the pain was worse than ever and I was vomiting all night long, I was and still am as broken as I think I ever have been. At 2:00 AM that night I went into the kitchen for no particular reason and Keegan my puppy was scratching at the back door. She came in shaking with stuff all over her like she'd been stuck somewhere and probably did not know what to think of me as I was crying my eyes out for joy or something. It occurred to me that God had brought her back or at least that's what I thought that night. I guess he did because also when I surrendered all the that's been going on with me I did feel somewhat of a weight lifted. I have been at bottom many times and I am there now and I am just hoping things will get better and I can start climbing back up again somehow. Because if I can't then I have it all planned out, I will end it because it's been long enough and it's been way too hard for me here for the past year. And no I most likely will not do it as I am too much of a coward but at least I have a plan. Sorry to get on here and be so negative I guess but that's what I am tonight and this is where I'm able to let it all out. Thank you I will try to come back on more often... Your friend always Quentin..PS: sorry Lindsay for the image I know I'm not allowed but give me a break please, I'm trying to be more positive even when it doesn't work

  6. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, Hello to everyone, that is hello to the two people that are on mine right now and to   
    Hello to everyone, that is hello to the two people that are on mine right now and to those that will get on later. I'm sorry I've not been around much as I have had one physical illness after another. I cannot sleep tonight it's 3:41 AM here and like this guy posted about, I too am not only lost, but also I feel like a completely broken man. I got a new puppy about a month ago and that brought some joy into my life. But being so sick, I guess I have lost it with her a couple times. The other day she once again on my floor and I threw her out and I cursed God, like I do too often and told him to please quit playing games with me, that he sent this dog into my already screwed up world only to on me and I could not care less if she came back or not. Well guess what, she did not come back all day long and I do she was dead somewhere. I absolutely fell apart like never before that I know of and cried so hard I thought my head would explode. I told God how sorry I was and to please let Keegan come back as she was going to be my one and only loving companion after losing my other dog. I told God that I give up and I give it all to you, that I surrender and I just want to die or if it's your will I want to live but nowhere near like I have been living for the past 20 ****ing years. I was so sick with my stomach the pain was worse than ever and I was vomiting all night long, I was and still am as broken as I think I ever have been. At 2:00 AM that night I went into the kitchen for no particular reason and Keegan my puppy was scratching at the back door. She came in shaking with stuff all over her like she'd been stuck somewhere and probably did not know what to think of me as I was crying my eyes out for joy or something. It occurred to me that God had brought her back or at least that's what I thought that night. I guess he did because also when I surrendered all the that's been going on with me I did feel somewhat of a weight lifted. I have been at bottom many times and I am there now and I am just hoping things will get better and I can start climbing back up again somehow. Because if I can't then I have it all planned out, I will end it because it's been long enough and it's been way too hard for me here for the past year. And no I most likely will not do it as I am too much of a coward but at least I have a plan. Sorry to get on here and be so negative I guess but that's what I am tonight and this is where I'm able to let it all out. Thank you I will try to come back on more often... Your friend always Quentin..PS: sorry Lindsay for the image I know I'm not allowed but give me a break please, I'm trying to be more positive even when it doesn't work

  7. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Jalen for a status update, Hello all my good friends, it has been a while. I do hope and pray that everyone is d   
    Hello all my good friends, it has been a while. I do hope and pray that everyone is doing well, or the best you can. As most of you know, I have been dealing with extreme health issues that just, for some reason, keeps getting worse. I had another esophagogastroduodenoscopy, damn that was a mouth full, it is just a scope down my throat to my stomach. The ulcer is somewhat better, but they still may have to do surgery.But what has got me really p***** off is a whole different issue I have encountered. I got these very large lumps under my armpits on both sides. It turns out that they are Sebaseous Cysts filled with Staph, if I spelled that right. As if I was not already high enough maintenance with eating right and stuff, but now I have to keep the cysts clean throughout the day, take more antibiotics, take "bleach" baths, put on antibiotic creme and keep the areas gauzed, ain't that some .
    Well that's me, yall know how I hate to complain about my own problems, though I have done a lot for a couple months, and yes THANKS for the prayers. How is everybody else doing today? I plan to get on here more often, if possible, if just to let yall know I'm still alive...lol...I have to go get some things but i will get back on later and read my messages and stuff...
             ...Be Good to Yourselves...Quentin...

  8. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Kellyb79 for a status update, Hello all my good friends, it has been a while. I do hope and pray that everyone is d   
    Hello all my good friends, it has been a while. I do hope and pray that everyone is doing well, or the best you can. As most of you know, I have been dealing with extreme health issues that just, for some reason, keeps getting worse. I had another esophagogastroduodenoscopy, damn that was a mouth full, it is just a scope down my throat to my stomach. The ulcer is somewhat better, but they still may have to do surgery.But what has got me really p***** off is a whole different issue I have encountered. I got these very large lumps under my armpits on both sides. It turns out that they are Sebaseous Cysts filled with Staph, if I spelled that right. As if I was not already high enough maintenance with eating right and stuff, but now I have to keep the cysts clean throughout the day, take more antibiotics, take "bleach" baths, put on antibiotic creme and keep the areas gauzed, ain't that some .
    Well that's me, yall know how I hate to complain about my own problems, though I have done a lot for a couple months, and yes THANKS for the prayers. How is everybody else doing today? I plan to get on here more often, if possible, if just to let yall know I'm still alive...lol...I have to go get some things but i will get back on later and read my messages and stuff...
             ...Be Good to Yourselves...Quentin...

  9. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from mulberrypie for a status update, I am so lost as to what the Hell is wrong with me. I have been so severely depressed   
    I am so lost as to what the Hell is wrong with me. I have been so severely depressed for the past 2-3 weeks and since Tuesday, I have just got so weak and so fatigued that I can hardly breath.  I know that the Charcot-Marie-Tooth disease is getting worse and my vision is crap.  A friend yelled to me about 30 yards away, but I did not know who it was until I got right up to him. I can not hold anything, anymore and drop everything I try to hold. The braces I am wearing are cutting into my feet, but I am going to get them adjusted Wensday.  But, my friends, those are just feelings and emotions, that just so happen to be really getting to me BAD.  I am grateful though, there are many people/children that are a lot worse off than me.  My friend in Australia, April, is always messaging me good thoughts, as do so many of you. She has CMT, as well as her 8 year old daughter, Erykah. Erykah has a worse type of CMT, than I do, she too is losing her vision, as well as, her hearing. I am sorry for being so distant for the past week, but it has been worse, (the depression and losing my temper at myself all the time), I have just had such a terrible attitude. The crazy thing is, I should have been here on the forum, instead of just wallowing in my anger and self-pity. I will try to get on the forum more often when I am like this, you guys do still mean a lot to me, with your encouraging and supportive words. For the past few days, I have had horrible stomach pain, (Like right now, it hurts really bad. I'm gonna post this and then go to bed. I just need yall to know that I am still kicking, I am just so sick of being so sick. Please continue to keep me in your prayers...Yall's Friend Always Quentin. PS: I will read every message I have got when I am feeling better, THANKS my friends...
  10. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from idkusername465 for a status update, Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all a   
    Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all are well or at least doing the best that you can. First, please let me say, this forum and all the people in it, are/is the best group of folks that I have had the honor of being a part of, I consider this to be a "real", safe and very supportive place to talk about our problems. You will never catch me saying that about any other community that I am in online. I have been helped through some really hard times by people on here and I am not planning on going anywhere. I just have got to slow down a bit with all the things I have put on myself, on the internet. So I may go days without a word, but please know that I am fine and don't worry. ALSO to my good friend Jalen, keep your chin up and just do the best that you can. I will get with you maybe Saturday...Thanks Everyone...your friend alwauys, Quentin...
    PS: I still, for some reason, can't get on the forum through Google???
  11. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Jalen for a status update, Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all a   
    Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all are well or at least doing the best that you can. First, please let me say, this forum and all the people in it, are/is the best group of folks that I have had the honor of being a part of, I consider this to be a "real", safe and very supportive place to talk about our problems. You will never catch me saying that about any other community that I am in online. I have been helped through some really hard times by people on here and I am not planning on going anywhere. I just have got to slow down a bit with all the things I have put on myself, on the internet. So I may go days without a word, but please know that I am fine and don't worry. ALSO to my good friend Jalen, keep your chin up and just do the best that you can. I will get with you maybe Saturday...Thanks Everyone...your friend alwauys, Quentin...
    PS: I still, for some reason, can't get on the forum through Google???
  12. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Natasha1 for a status update, Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all a   
    Hello all my wonderful and supportive frinds, I truly do hope and prat that you all are well or at least doing the best that you can. First, please let me say, this forum and all the people in it, are/is the best group of folks that I have had the honor of being a part of, I consider this to be a "real", safe and very supportive place to talk about our problems. You will never catch me saying that about any other community that I am in online. I have been helped through some really hard times by people on here and I am not planning on going anywhere. I just have got to slow down a bit with all the things I have put on myself, on the internet. So I may go days without a word, but please know that I am fine and don't worry. ALSO to my good friend Jalen, keep your chin up and just do the best that you can. I will get with you maybe Saturday...Thanks Everyone...your friend alwauys, Quentin...
    PS: I still, for some reason, can't get on the forum through Google???
  13. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35   
    Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35% chance of panic attacks as well as severe depersonalization and altered ego states of mind...But seriously, I am doing well as I can, I just can't stay online right now because we are having some very bad storms and I don't want my PC to get fried again. I do have a "Quentin" moment I will share real fast. My neighbor that made me supper that night. I made her family my famous banana pudding. So i went to meet Matt, her boyfriend, about halfway to give it to him, they do have some bad dogs. I barely made it out of my yard, with hands full of pudding, and my leg just snapped/cracked, I thought I had broke my leg but it did not hurt. I held onto a tree and yelled to Matt to come get the pudding, that something was wrong with my leg. He offered to help ma back to my house but I limped my way back, with a big ? as to what happened. Yall know that I have the CMT and have been wearing AFO braces since 12 or 13 and they would break many times back then because I was so active and hard on them.  But sure enough that is what happened the other night, my left one broke all the way in half. Of course I have had this pair for about 10 years, so I was not to surprised. Thank God, I had another pair in my closet that I have never used. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it, what a day that was. I am getting off line now and unplugging my PC. I will be back on the forum before yall know it...Be Good to Yourselves...your friend Quentin...PS: I will read all my new messages when the weather clears and I get back online...
  14. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Jalen for a status update, Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35   
    Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35% chance of panic attacks as well as severe depersonalization and altered ego states of mind...But seriously, I am doing well as I can, I just can't stay online right now because we are having some very bad storms and I don't want my PC to get fried again. I do have a "Quentin" moment I will share real fast. My neighbor that made me supper that night. I made her family my famous banana pudding. So i went to meet Matt, her boyfriend, about halfway to give it to him, they do have some bad dogs. I barely made it out of my yard, with hands full of pudding, and my leg just snapped/cracked, I thought I had broke my leg but it did not hurt. I held onto a tree and yelled to Matt to come get the pudding, that something was wrong with my leg. He offered to help ma back to my house but I limped my way back, with a big ? as to what happened. Yall know that I have the CMT and have been wearing AFO braces since 12 or 13 and they would break many times back then because I was so active and hard on them.  But sure enough that is what happened the other night, my left one broke all the way in half. Of course I have had this pair for about 10 years, so I was not to surprised. Thank God, I had another pair in my closet that I have never used. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it, what a day that was. I am getting off line now and unplugging my PC. I will be back on the forum before yall know it...Be Good to Yourselves...your friend Quentin...PS: I will read all my new messages when the weather clears and I get back online...
  15. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Mikayla for a status update, Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35   
    Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35% chance of panic attacks as well as severe depersonalization and altered ego states of mind...But seriously, I am doing well as I can, I just can't stay online right now because we are having some very bad storms and I don't want my PC to get fried again. I do have a "Quentin" moment I will share real fast. My neighbor that made me supper that night. I made her family my famous banana pudding. So i went to meet Matt, her boyfriend, about halfway to give it to him, they do have some bad dogs. I barely made it out of my yard, with hands full of pudding, and my leg just snapped/cracked, I thought I had broke my leg but it did not hurt. I held onto a tree and yelled to Matt to come get the pudding, that something was wrong with my leg. He offered to help ma back to my house but I limped my way back, with a big ? as to what happened. Yall know that I have the CMT and have been wearing AFO braces since 12 or 13 and they would break many times back then because I was so active and hard on them.  But sure enough that is what happened the other night, my left one broke all the way in half. Of course I have had this pair for about 10 years, so I was not to surprised. Thank God, I had another pair in my closet that I have never used. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it, what a day that was. I am getting off line now and unplugging my PC. I will be back on the forum before yall know it...Be Good to Yourselves...your friend Quentin...PS: I will read all my new messages when the weather clears and I get back online...
  16. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Natasha1 for a status update, Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35   
    Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35% chance of panic attacks as well as severe depersonalization and altered ego states of mind...But seriously, I am doing well as I can, I just can't stay online right now because we are having some very bad storms and I don't want my PC to get fried again. I do have a "Quentin" moment I will share real fast. My neighbor that made me supper that night. I made her family my famous banana pudding. So i went to meet Matt, her boyfriend, about halfway to give it to him, they do have some bad dogs. I barely made it out of my yard, with hands full of pudding, and my leg just snapped/cracked, I thought I had broke my leg but it did not hurt. I held onto a tree and yelled to Matt to come get the pudding, that something was wrong with my leg. He offered to help ma back to my house but I limped my way back, with a big ? as to what happened. Yall know that I have the CMT and have been wearing AFO braces since 12 or 13 and they would break many times back then because I was so active and hard on them.  But sure enough that is what happened the other night, my left one broke all the way in half. Of course I have had this pair for about 10 years, so I was not to surprised. Thank God, I had another pair in my closet that I have never used. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it, what a day that was. I am getting off line now and unplugging my PC. I will be back on the forum before yall know it...Be Good to Yourselves...your friend Quentin...PS: I will read all my new messages when the weather clears and I get back online...
  17. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from mulberrypie for a status update, Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35   
    Hello all my good friends, my current status is mild to moderate depression with a 35% chance of panic attacks as well as severe depersonalization and altered ego states of mind...But seriously, I am doing well as I can, I just can't stay online right now because we are having some very bad storms and I don't want my PC to get fried again. I do have a "Quentin" moment I will share real fast. My neighbor that made me supper that night. I made her family my famous banana pudding. So i went to meet Matt, her boyfriend, about halfway to give it to him, they do have some bad dogs. I barely made it out of my yard, with hands full of pudding, and my leg just snapped/cracked, I thought I had broke my leg but it did not hurt. I held onto a tree and yelled to Matt to come get the pudding, that something was wrong with my leg. He offered to help ma back to my house but I limped my way back, with a big ? as to what happened. Yall know that I have the CMT and have been wearing AFO braces since 12 or 13 and they would break many times back then because I was so active and hard on them.  But sure enough that is what happened the other night, my left one broke all the way in half. Of course I have had this pair for about 10 years, so I was not to surprised. Thank God, I had another pair in my closet that I have never used. So that's my story and I'm sticking to it, what a day that was. I am getting off line now and unplugging my PC. I will be back on the forum before yall know it...Be Good to Yourselves...your friend Quentin...PS: I will read all my new messages when the weather clears and I get back online...
  18. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from Jalen for a status update, I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I k   
    I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I know, but have not gotten to really know yet, she lives here in Cordele as well...She posted this yesterday...(My door is always open, the coffee pan is always on and my sofa is always warm and a place of peace and non-judgement. Any of my family and friends who need to chat are welcome anytime . It's no good suffering in silence. I have cold drinks and food in the fridge...tea & coffee in the cupboard and I will always be here. ...You are never not welcome!!
    Blue Monday is a name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) reported to be the most depressing day of the year and January the worst month for suicides, it's always good to talk but even better to listen. This hits closer to home than we think. I'll always lend an ear and a shoulder.......and my heart.)
    What is so sad about this, is that i live right next door to her and her family, about a 50 foot walk, and although she has invited me to come over many times, I am ashamed that I have not done so. They do have parties on the weekend, where there is drinking, and I have told her that I can not be around that. But she still asks me to come over during the week if I want to, she is a very good person and great mother to her two kids. I can go be around 40 or 50 fellow recovering addicts, but I have not been able to bring myself to walk next door where I know I am very welcome. This post of hers has made me realize that I have to try harder to go visit her. I don't have to be here all the time, wallowing in my own self-pity, I have a neighbor willing to listen and talk to me...what do you guys think about this?...your friend Quentin...
     

  19. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I k   
    I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I know, but have not gotten to really know yet, she lives here in Cordele as well...She posted this yesterday...(My door is always open, the coffee pan is always on and my sofa is always warm and a place of peace and non-judgement. Any of my family and friends who need to chat are welcome anytime . It's no good suffering in silence. I have cold drinks and food in the fridge...tea & coffee in the cupboard and I will always be here. ...You are never not welcome!!
    Blue Monday is a name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) reported to be the most depressing day of the year and January the worst month for suicides, it's always good to talk but even better to listen. This hits closer to home than we think. I'll always lend an ear and a shoulder.......and my heart.)
    What is so sad about this, is that i live right next door to her and her family, about a 50 foot walk, and although she has invited me to come over many times, I am ashamed that I have not done so. They do have parties on the weekend, where there is drinking, and I have told her that I can not be around that. But she still asks me to come over during the week if I want to, she is a very good person and great mother to her two kids. I can go be around 40 or 50 fellow recovering addicts, but I have not been able to bring myself to walk next door where I know I am very welcome. This post of hers has made me realize that I have to try harder to go visit her. I don't have to be here all the time, wallowing in my own self-pity, I have a neighbor willing to listen and talk to me...what do you guys think about this?...your friend Quentin...
     

  20. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from idkusername465 for a status update, I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I k   
    I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I know, but have not gotten to really know yet, she lives here in Cordele as well...She posted this yesterday...(My door is always open, the coffee pan is always on and my sofa is always warm and a place of peace and non-judgement. Any of my family and friends who need to chat are welcome anytime . It's no good suffering in silence. I have cold drinks and food in the fridge...tea & coffee in the cupboard and I will always be here. ...You are never not welcome!!
    Blue Monday is a name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) reported to be the most depressing day of the year and January the worst month for suicides, it's always good to talk but even better to listen. This hits closer to home than we think. I'll always lend an ear and a shoulder.......and my heart.)
    What is so sad about this, is that i live right next door to her and her family, about a 50 foot walk, and although she has invited me to come over many times, I am ashamed that I have not done so. They do have parties on the weekend, where there is drinking, and I have told her that I can not be around that. But she still asks me to come over during the week if I want to, she is a very good person and great mother to her two kids. I can go be around 40 or 50 fellow recovering addicts, but I have not been able to bring myself to walk next door where I know I am very welcome. This post of hers has made me realize that I have to try harder to go visit her. I don't have to be here all the time, wallowing in my own self-pity, I have a neighbor willing to listen and talk to me...what do you guys think about this?...your friend Quentin...
     

  21. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from carter_burn1 for a status update, I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I k   
    I wanted to give a status update as well. This is what a FB friend of mine, which I know, but have not gotten to really know yet, she lives here in Cordele as well...She posted this yesterday...(My door is always open, the coffee pan is always on and my sofa is always warm and a place of peace and non-judgement. Any of my family and friends who need to chat are welcome anytime . It's no good suffering in silence. I have cold drinks and food in the fridge...tea & coffee in the cupboard and I will always be here. ...You are never not welcome!!
    Blue Monday is a name given to a day in January (typically the third Monday of the month) reported to be the most depressing day of the year and January the worst month for suicides, it's always good to talk but even better to listen. This hits closer to home than we think. I'll always lend an ear and a shoulder.......and my heart.)
    What is so sad about this, is that i live right next door to her and her family, about a 50 foot walk, and although she has invited me to come over many times, I am ashamed that I have not done so. They do have parties on the weekend, where there is drinking, and I have told her that I can not be around that. But she still asks me to come over during the week if I want to, she is a very good person and great mother to her two kids. I can go be around 40 or 50 fellow recovering addicts, but I have not been able to bring myself to walk next door where I know I am very welcome. This post of hers has made me realize that I have to try harder to go visit her. I don't have to be here all the time, wallowing in my own self-pity, I have a neighbor willing to listen and talk to me...what do you guys think about this?...your friend Quentin...
     

  22. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, Hello all my good friends, I hope and pray that all are well today. I am posting this   
    Hello all my good friends, I hope and pray that all are well today. I am posting this on my profile status as well as The Depression Central. First I would like to say that I am so grateful for all of you that were so concerned for and prayed for me during my ongoing stomach illness, I can not express that enough. I only confided in two people about the fact that there was a good chance that I had stomach cancer, I did not want anyone to worry unnecessarily until I knew for sure. I am sorry to the two people I told, I hope yall did not worry a lot. Anyway I just now got off of the phone with the doctor and he said there is no cancer. They found the bacteria H Pylori, and I will be on antibiotics for two weeks. I still have a severe pyloric ulcer, but the antibiotics hopefully will **** the bacteria and therefore help to heal the ulcer. And who knows, maybe if I start getting better with my health, then maybe the severe depression I have had for the last couple of months will get better.
    I know that here on the forum, I can be honest about everything that I am or have been feeling. I will have to admit that I, in a way, almost hoped it was cancer and terminal and that way I could "escape" from this reality through natural means. I was very wrong to think in that sort of way and I hope yall don't hold it against me. I see, on a day by day basis, people/children going through a lot of difficult things and it does, in a way, cause me to be somewhat thankful, so I am sorry that I was ever thinking those thoughts. I have to pay bills right now but I will try to get back on the forum later. Again THANKS a Plenty for all of you here...your friend Quentin...Be Good to Yourselves...

  23. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from mulberrypie for a status update, Hello all my good friends, I hope and pray that all are well today. I am posting this   
    Hello all my good friends, I hope and pray that all are well today. I am posting this on my profile status as well as The Depression Central. First I would like to say that I am so grateful for all of you that were so concerned for and prayed for me during my ongoing stomach illness, I can not express that enough. I only confided in two people about the fact that there was a good chance that I had stomach cancer, I did not want anyone to worry unnecessarily until I knew for sure. I am sorry to the two people I told, I hope yall did not worry a lot. Anyway I just now got off of the phone with the doctor and he said there is no cancer. They found the bacteria H Pylori, and I will be on antibiotics for two weeks. I still have a severe pyloric ulcer, but the antibiotics hopefully will **** the bacteria and therefore help to heal the ulcer. And who knows, maybe if I start getting better with my health, then maybe the severe depression I have had for the last couple of months will get better.
    I know that here on the forum, I can be honest about everything that I am or have been feeling. I will have to admit that I, in a way, almost hoped it was cancer and terminal and that way I could "escape" from this reality through natural means. I was very wrong to think in that sort of way and I hope yall don't hold it against me. I see, on a day by day basis, people/children going through a lot of difficult things and it does, in a way, cause me to be somewhat thankful, so I am sorry that I was ever thinking those thoughts. I have to pay bills right now but I will try to get back on the forum later. Again THANKS a Plenty for all of you here...your friend Quentin...Be Good to Yourselves...

  24. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from samadhiSheol for a status update, I just had to get back on here and talk about this. It is now 7:47pm here in Georgia   
    I just had to get back on here and talk about this. It is now 7:47pm here in Georgia and I just now made a call that has now made me not only more depressed, but very angry as well. Most of you know that I am a recovering drug addict and I attend NA support meetings. I got myself a sponsor over a year ago, (Kevin). If you don't know, a sponsor is someone that is a mentor and someone you are accountable to. We have grown to be great friends and I talk to him about everything, he is a very caring and supportive friend. He has had issues with his throat, so I called him to see what the doctor said about his test. Kevin has been off of drugs for 10 years and even quit smoking a year ago and it makes me so angry but he found out he has throat cancer. He has to get 62 radiation treatments, which will put him out of work and he has no insurance, the doctor said he has an 80% chance of being cured. It's very helpful that he has such a great attitude, something I only wish I had. It's so freaking unfair to him because he has done so much for others, helping them get off of drugs, he does not deserve this at all. Also I might be selfish to say this, but I am so tired of losing people that I love. So I really just needed to vent about this, I will enter 2017 with a not so great mood...Be Good to Yourselves...

  25. Like
    quentin360 got a reaction from gs22 for a status update, I edited the slide show I created and I think it may be easier to watch now, I hope s   
    I edited the slide show I created and I think it may be easier to watch now, I hope so. Let me know what yall think. If it does not do right then o well, I will start all over again...
    CMT KID'S 2016.mp4
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