salparadise6132

Sounds to me like you aced it, BR! The entire idea. You spoke from your heart and admitted your nervousness and fear. WOW. What an accomplishment in front of non-virtual people, ie. people IRL. Very, very well done, my dear. I hope you keep at it and you can develop the skills and courage to confront your pain!! Big hugs! I was so happy to read this post!!! A great accomplishment!!!!

"conflicted" Yeah, that's about it for us depressives, I think. That's what I often am, too. In my case, what my illness most does to me is makes me doubt how I actually feel about others. Is it just because I am depressed? Maybe they are not a cancer on my life? Maybe it's just me, over-reacting? I hate, most, the inability I have, especially when down, to trust my true, sober instincts, clouded, as they are by depression, anxiety and the associated self loathing. I'm 54 and still trying to figure out how I feel, when not submerged under the cloud and distortion of depression. I say all this just to say: I don't know what your parents are doing to you. They may very well be abusive and a negative force in your life. You will make it through, but only if you can find a way, perhaps with the help of a wise person, to make a judgment in your soul, without the depression talking, as to what their influence is doing to you. I hope you can get there. None of us need to endure abuse - be it from family, or anyone else. We are better off alone and with DF and new friends who are true!

You sound like me, in this post LOL! The answer is yes, that would be the wisest course. And not only that, the only course, the self loving course that says "I matter more than anything some other flawed human being thinks of me." Who TF are they, anyway? They will die like the rest of us, so, by definition, they are not gods who can pass judgment. They do not own your soul. You do!!

Hi NM. First, welcome!!! Glad you're here but wished you didn't feel a need to be! This post sounds to me like guilt. "my psychological stuff is not a real, valid, form of hurt. Well, truth is, it is. Very real. And the biggest killer of youth around the world! Please stop comparing yourself to others "worse off." You, and I, and the others on here are confronted with the true horror of depression and other mental illnesses. These are very real. And they are not our fault! They can be treated, and we can achieve peace of mind. But, for me the first step is not to feel guilty about it being "only something in my brain." Would a liver cancer patient say, "heck, it's only something in my liver cells?" Hugs to you. Your pain is valid!!!!

Love you, Devlinkyla!!!

I know. I obsess, often, about what it is, why do I feel this way? That is maddening. I guess it is "just because" and I have to accept it. Sucks, but maybe I have to. I hope you feel better tomorrow PB!

You can only do your best, Riv/M. It may work. It may not. If it doesn't, and you have given your best effort, then it's on them, not you!! Good managers put people in situations to succeed - as you already have in your area. To expect miracles outside of that is unreasonable. That doesn't mean you can't do it. But it means that they tossed you a lob pass over the middle and the blame should be on them if it doesn't work out! (Sorry for the football metaphor, but a lob pass over the middle is usually an invitation for the receiver to get creamed and possibly injured). This is on them. Try your best, breathe, be in the moment, and recognize the truth in this situation! Hugs!!

Victims never get love. Oh, we might get passing love, a hug, a kind word, 5 dollars in the collection plate. But no one wants to love for all time a victim. It is only when we decide that we are alright with ourselves, and project those good vibes outward, that others will give us love.

I hope for the best for you both! Seems like a meaningful, mutually elevating connection that can matter!!! Hugs!!

Ok, last post 13 hours ago. Have I missed a new thread or are you all just feeling at peace? I so hope it is the latter. Still, I need this thread big time. I hope it hasn't moved without my knowing!! Hugs, all!!!

PM me, even when you're not desperate, DG, and I will respond to you!! (maybe not fast, but I will LOL). Sometimes the mass messaging on here gets lost in the primacy of other's sorrows. It can be a little bit like triage - the most in need get the attention. It has happened to me too! Please PM me anytime! Big Hugs!!! So glad you're not in the pit you were that day!!!!!!!

I needed that talk today, bud. The past was all over me. Still, it's done, gone, and is no longer real - unless we let it be real and consume us!! Take care of yourself!!

The reality is, you are going to run into unconscious people everywhere, in real life and on Forums. I am thankful that we have great people on here policing the content and adjudicating disputes so that we are not hurtful to one another! And I say that as one who got a warning a few years back. It's all good. Hold me accountable too. We are here for love and support. Best, all!!!

The more you ignore them, the more they will go away. No fun harassing someone who doesn't take the bait!! Try to hang in there and have a laugh about it. Each knock is a signal for you to smile to yourself about the progress you've made and the peace and strength you've acquired! 🙂 Please don't let bored children bring you down. You're above this!!!!!

LOL I am with ya, my friend. George Carlin is my hero too!!!!