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salparadise6132

Platinum Member
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salparadise6132 last won the day on September 16 2015

salparadise6132 had the most liked content!

About salparadise6132

  • Rank
    Platinum Member
  • Birthday 07/20/1964

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Toronto, Ontario
  • Interests
    Music, writing

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4,725 profile views
  1. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I know that, jeremiah! And so does sober. Hugs!!! Brian
  2. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Love your sense of humor, girl. I was hoping that post didn't hurt you. I strongly suspect she meant no harm, likely unaware of who you are and your story. Hugs, bud! You remain an inspiration for me!! Brian
  3. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Hugs WOTL! I don't know what to say, other than, you did not deserve that treatment from him. Period. Period.
  4. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Boy do I get that, JD! Some little thing - and boom - your mind thinks it's been hit by something ejected from the Enola Gay. I was better yesterday. Too early to tell about today. I've been in a down cycle and it will take time for me to get out of it. A lot of ups and downs! Take care, my friend! I am going to PM you about another matter, if that's OK? Cheers Brian
  5. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Teetering on the edge of... What will tomorrow bring?
  6. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I sure can, especially now that I'm in the dumps again.
  7. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    "but for a brain like mine, it's enough" says it all for me. Ditto. My brain is often like an unbreakable, wild colt. I need the Horse Whisperer for it, more than a shrink, I think. Nevertheless, most days of the year, he lays in his stall eating carrots. I hope yours does too!!! These times are what we go through. They pass! Please remember that! Hugs Brian
  8. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Me too! My therapist has noticed that I hit bottom about twice a year. I think that's right. I guess I should be thankful it's not more often. Hugs all of you!!!!
  9. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Thank you so much, Lynn. This is great advice! I am tired of pretending and hiding who I am. It takes so much energy to fake it. If someone loves me for who I am, that would be great. If not, at least I'll be true to myself!!!
  10. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Thanks Beyond Weary. You really cut to the core of it LOL. It is true, I have never liked myself - oh, sometimes I do - most times I don't. I goes back to parental abuse etc. All that said, I am intrigued by your picking that message (that I don't like myself) up in the post I made. I don't see self-hatred in that post, but I'd be VERY grateful for your thoughts on where you saw it! I do tend to have some blinders on about myself, and this could really help me. Please feel free to PM me if you wish! Hugs Brian
  11. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I am toxic, it seems. Everyone I finally feel the courage to confide in runs. I am no danger to them, only to myself. And yet, it's "Goodbye Brian." "Find someone who accepts you as you are," they say, at least that's what they say before I tell them the truth about me - of my suicidal ideation and how I wake up in the morning imagining myself swinging from a tree, or with a barrel down my throat, and how those thoughts make me feel relieved and at peace. After I offer that, my truth, no matter how much I trusted them, they are gone. I am wiped away from their lives. Please tell me this is not loneliness.
  12. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Our Sober is a very strong person!!! Happy birthday, Devlinkyla!!!
  13. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    That is a blessing, to have helped!! It really is. In my opinion, launching Facebook (Hi Zuck) vs. being a positive influence on one or more person in need is no contest. While I think I've been of some help to some, I am hoping to do more of it. Nice post. I enjoyed reading it. And I'm sure even just that helping that person reduces the worthlessness of your life much, much lower than 98.5% In fact, I know it!!!
  14. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Exactly what I have found, my brave friend!!!
  15. salparadise6132

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Yes, thanks M, it has me quite confused. I love where she is and how she deals with her life, but I know that she has not suffered my pain over long periods. When I suggest to her that I am different, she says: "you don't have to be." It's very confusing. Like life, I guess.
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