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Everything posted by Seeker2

  1. @urivgirl86, Thanks for the kind words. I think that if you decided to be a performer, or just listen to classical music at home, it is all good either way. Whichever path makes you happy is the right thing to do. There have been things I have wanted to do in my past, which no longer seem so important to me now, so I can relate to how things change. Btw, I'm glad you like classical music. I do too, although I'm more into the string quartets and shorter pieces that are based on folk music.
  2. @posie_riot, I can assure you that you aren't the only one who feels "possessive" about your CO. Other fans may hide their own "possessiveness" on the public forums, but I am sure that many take it to depths that you wouldn't believe, lol! You don't sound like the worst kind of fan to me. You are self-reflective and you seem to be trying to come to terms with your inner feelings. I think there are many fans much crazier than you who take "possession" to new heights of *crazy* when they are not posting in public. I think you are probably doing a lot better than you think.
  3. What you are feeling now is grief for a life you wanted and now you feel it's lost to you. It's natural to grieve and there is no time limit on grief. Allow yourself time to heal and sometimes it takes quite a while. It's okay if you aren't over it right away. In the meantime, you will have good days and bad days. That's also okay. Also, it's not to late to put at least some of your dreams into action. If you have talent and you think you could have a career, why not try some audition, just for fun? It might not lead anywhere, but at least you would feel like you tried. It's not too late to pursue your career dreams. It's not sinful to be an artist. God gave us talents so we can use them to bring joy to other people. Use your God-given gifts for others and if you feel the music industry is too risqué, then go independent and create music that promotes your own values.
  4. @fabulousrockstar, Thanks for sharing more of your story with us. I think he pulled back from you when he realized how you felt about him and it was probably because he didn't want to send you the wrong signals or give you the wrong impression about how he felt. However, cutting you off and blocking you was unfair, in my opinion. Judging from what you said, it doesn't sound like you were stalking him or harassing him, so you didn't deserve to be treated like a stalker just because you told him how you felt. It probably felt to you like he had become a sort of pen pal, since you were having conversations with him. I am sorry that happened to you and I would feel bad too if the same thing happened to me.
  5. I'll admit that your "selfish and immature" comment made me feel like you were judging me too, even though you weren't talking to me at the time. I often struggle with feeling genuinely happy for my CO, even though I do try, so I felt like you were saying I was "selfish and immature" too, lol! However, I suspected, as you have admitted here, that you were just in denial about your own hidden not-so-happy feelings. Thank you for apologizing and for admitting the truth of how you feel. I truly respect you for that and I accept your apology, even though it was directed at another person. It takes a lot of courage and maturity to come out and admit where you went wrong on a public forum. So, now that you have been courageous enough to admit your faults and be so honest and forthcoming about it, please don't beat yourself up and feel bad about what you did. It's very human to want to hide less than saintly feelings (even from ourselves) and not even be aware of it on a surface level. When that happens, it's easy to judge others as we try so hard to believe that we would never feel the way we are judging against. I think what you did was all very human and so I think you can be forgiven for being human.
  6. @Audrey822, I'm glad you're feeling better than before.
  7. @posie_riot, I think there are other fans of his who are also obsessed. When someone is famous, there are always people who are obsessed with them, so you are never as alone as you think. In fact, I am quite sure that he has plenty of fans a lot crazier than you. Also, I'm sure your CO knows that many of his fans are madly in love with him, lol! (But I can see why you fear that people might think you're nuts. WE don't think so, lol!)
  8. Sorry you had to go through this stressful situation again. If you need to talk about it, you know how to reach me. ***hugs***
  9. @decado, I would be in heaven if my CO actually sang with me directly during a concert, lol! I sent you a PM where I speculated further about why he might pick out certain fans on Twitter. I hope that some of what I said won't make you feel worse, so please remember that it's all just speculation and it has no real meaning. I have no idea why a celebrity would pick out some fans over others on Twitter. However, it sounds like he picked you at the concert. Also, it seems to me that you mentioned him re-tweeting one of your messages shortly after his concert that you attended in 2014. (Maybe I'm not remembering correctly, but I seem to remember that you said he did re-tweet you and it made you feel better.) If he did do that, then you are one of the people he responded to, (even if he didn't happen to respond yet this year). I second what @Audrey822 said about how it might not even be him managing the account. She is probably right about that. Some celebrities do manage their accounts, but if they get too famous, they just don't have time to wade through fan mail, (or tweets), personally anymore because it gets to be too much. Chances are it isn't even *him* doing the responding, but a secretary or representative.
  10. @Julialovesdancing, Yes, I think you are making sense, although I wouldn't say that you are necessarily incompatible with him, just because he happens to like dancing in community theater. You enjoy theater too, even if you are in the audience, rather than on the stage. Also, you share a love for dancing, even if you aren't a dancer yourself, (based on what you told us so far). Since I don't know your boyfriend, or the relationship you have with him, I can't say whether you should or shouldn't see the dancer again because what you *should* do would totally depend on your feelings and relationship with your boyfriend.
  11. @decado, I can totally relate to how you're feeling, (even though I don't think my CO plays favorites. He seems to try and treat everybody the same.) However, there was one time when I posted a comment on his page that he didn't understand. (He can't speak English too well.) He wasn't mad, but he just didn't know what I meant, so he wasn't able to "like" my comment, lol! Since he "likes" almost everyone's comments when he can, I took this to mean he probably remembered me from before and didn't "like" my comment because he disliked me personally. I was so miserable, probably a lot like you're feeling now. Later on, I deleted the old comment and put a new comment there that he could understand better and he did "like" it. I was relieved because this proved to me that he had nothing against me and he wasn't ignoring me on purpose. In your case, I don't know if your CO is playing favorites or not, but if he is, that's not your fault. It wouldn't be very nice if he singled some fans out over others, but are you sure he really does that on purpose? Do you notice a pattern with the type of fans he follows? Are they all pretty, young girls? Are they people he kind of knows, like groupies he sees a lot at concerts? Does he only follow attractive women, or does he follow men too? I think you would have to know what his pattern his before you could figure out whether it was personal discrimination against you. IF it is discriminating, that would be unfair, but it wouldn't mean that you deserve that kind of treatment. It also doesn't mean there is something inherently wrong with you. I can still understand why it would make you feel that way. I probably would too. By the way, feel free to PM me if you need to talk. :)
  12. @urivgirl86, I don't think your journey is boring. You've made good progress and I can see you're getting stronger and starting to heal and move forward. That is a good thing. However long it takes, just keep going forward.
  13. Hi SarahRamone, Welcome. :) This is the right place for you to meet people who are going through similar stuff. First of all, don't feel so horrible. There are plenty of people who have COs (celebrity obsessions) and they are (mostly) normal people. Most of your friends don't understand what you're going through, but that's because they don't know what it's like to have a CO. If you've read through the messages here, you'll see that you're not alone and there are a lot of people like you. As for talking to your CO, I think people cross the line into Crazy Town when they stop realizing that they are just pretending. It sounds (from what you are saying) like you are aware that you are just doing it as part of day dreaming. :) Learning Spanish is a productive thing to do and it might come in useful someday. I'm also (sort of) learning a language (not Spanish) because of my CO too, lol! :D I think anything productive that can come out of having a CO isn't a bad thing. Travel, learning new languages and other things like that are all exciting and nothing to be ashamed of. It's a bit unhealthy when a CO stops you from achieving your goals, so my advice is to continue to watch your CO, but set aside special times to watch the videos. Spend the rest of your time working on your other goals. You can even use your CO videos as a reward for getting things done on time. You don't have to give him up if he makes you happy. :)
  14. @Ffb, I said to FIRST send a postal letter. Keep it as short as possible. THEN send a very brief Instagram to let them know you mailed them a letter. (If you want to.)
  15. @Ffb, Send the Instagram notice shortly after you mail off the postal letter. The Instagram would let them know that you mailed them the postal letter.
  16. @Ffb, Instagram is fine too, if you keep it to one message. It doesn't have to be Twitter. I'm sorry, but what are you asking about your letter? Are you asking me if your Instagram letter should be as long as the mailed letter? I don't think that would be a good idea. Your main letter would be the postal letter. If you send an Instagram too, just use it to briefly let them know that you sent them a full-sized letter (in the mail) and mention the date on the (mailed) letter so they can look for it.
  17. I see what you mean. It's possible that I do this bit too with my current CO, but no where near the level that I did with a former CO. :)
  18. @Ffb, My advice is to tell them how much you love their work and how it has made your life better, (if it has). Focus more on their work and try not to dwell on what you find attractive about them personally. While it can be flattering for a celebrity to hear that fans find them attractive, if you don't say it in just the *right* way, it can come across wrong to some people who might get spooked. That's why I think you should keep it about their work as much as possible. Also, keep it as short as possible. If it's too long, it's much less likely that it will be read or answered. In addition, it's better not to send a lot of messages, so less is more. One postal letter, (no longer than two pages at the most), and one tweet, letting them know that you sent a letter, is enough. A few months later, if they haven't replied yet, it would be okay to write another (very short) letter asking them if they got your previous letter. Or, you could send one tweet asking them if they got it. Beyond that, I would advise you not to do any more than that. If you meet them in person at a fan meet, you could tell them the same thing that you would say in your letter. If you can't meet them, then I would say to go ahead and send them a letter, as I outlined above. Hope some of this helps. I am no expert, but this is what I would do in your situation.
  19. @Audrey822,That's pretty much how I feel about my CO, (the part you said, which I put in bold italics). So, do we mean the same thing when we talk about putting someone on a pedestal? It sounds to me like you are saying that you would love your CO no matter what, which is no different than what I feel about mine. When I talk about putting someone on a pedestal though, I mean something a bit different than that. Just to clarify my own definition of pedestal, the way I see it, (and it may not be the same for everyone, so I can only speak for myself), putting someone on a pedestal is idealizing them and seeing them as perfect, or almost perfect. As for myself, I am not sure I really put my current CO on that kind of pedestal, but I have done so before with a different CO. @Julialovesdancing, When you mentioned that you put your "dancer" on a pedestal and felt like it would be an obstacle to knowing him personally, I took that to mean that you looked up to him and idealized him in some way. I thought perhaps getting to know him might be the way to "cure" that particular part of it. I'm not saying that when you get to know him better, you would stop loving him. Far from it, lol! In fact, it could be just the opposite! But loving someone and finding them endearing can be a bit different from seeing them as being on a pedestal, so that's the part I was addressing. I only brought it up because that seemed to be your main concern about getting to know him in real life. Of course, I can't speak for you, so if I am wrong about what you meant, I hope you can correct me. :)
  20. You say you can't dance? Well, ask him if he can teach you how to dance in his spare time. If he can't do that, ask him if he can recommend some interesting practice books to use or classes you could take, etc. The point is to find something you can share in common with him so that you can start relating to him as just another human being. I think if you get to know him, he might seem less like a celebrity to you. On the other hand, if you got to know him and you couldn't stop putting him on a pedestal, that wouldn't be a very healthy dynamic for a good relationship. But sometimes getting to know someone, so that they are no longer an unattainable object, can "cure" being *that* obsessed. You may like him all the more, or he could be disappointing, but maybe knowing him would put an end to the illusion that he is a celebrity. (I can understand why you feel that way though.) These are all just suggestions on my part.
  21. @perfectcircle77, You could write the journal, but change the name of the "leading lady" (you) to something else. If he reads it, just tell him it's a fictional story you are writing about your favorite celebrity. That is actually the truth. You don't have to tell him it's you in the story. Just change her name. See it as another universe and you could have a different name in that universe.
  22. I sometimes wonder if the spouses/significant others of our COs are actually living our fantasies, lol! Our COs are probably doing annoying stuff that is driving their spouses crazy, ha, ha! Sometimes if I think of it that way, I don't feel quite as lost when I think of my CO with his wife. I'm not saying she doesn't love him, but maybe she doesn't feel happy with him ALL the time, lol!
  23. @Audrey822, Thanks for sharing more of your story. It sounds like a really stressful, terrible situation for a little girl to be in. I agree with your therapist that you were to young to be blamed for not knowing what to do. It is not your fault or responsibility. I can also see why your AE became an important way to shut out the world and a much needed escape for you.
  24. @posie_riot, Please don't feel like you are bringing this thread down with your posts and comments. I was just giving a general opinion, partially sparked by various comments people were making here, (no particular person). I wasn't addressing my comments to you (or anyone else) specifically. :)
  25. My advice is to try and meet them in an appropriate way so that they won't become annoyed with you. I don't think you would ever want that to happen, so try to stick to public events. :)
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