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About Lynn1954

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    Sometimes Chicago, sometimes Pittsburgh!!

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  1. Dear KaitoKid, I'm sorry that you're physically sick with a cold or flu. I'm also sorry that you're feeling mentally and emotionally challenged with depression, anxiety, or other feelings that you lead you to think about and possibly hope for dying. Are you a teenager? Some teens have diagnosed depression or anxiety, others just have intermittent feelings and frustrations that are typical of that age, but should also be discussed. You asked a specific question, whether declining medicine for a physical ailment means you're wishing and hoping to die. But the answer requires looking at your bigger picture: it's best to discuss your mental health with your parents and your family doctor, and discuss with a counselor or therapist, and then possibly, if indicated, consult a psychiatrist. These three professionals can determine if you are diagnosed with depression or anxiety that requires ongoing treatment, and determine the best treatment plan for you. In general, emotionally healthy people handle minor physical illnesses with either medication methods, or non-medicated methods such as sleep, rest, water, soothing foods, etc. and neither method is related to wanting to live or die. Because you're currently associating your physical illness with your state of mind, it would probably be best to discuss this with your parents and the other professionals mentioned above.
  2. Ok, understood! Then, I'm thinking, don't even analyze it or figure out why, just enjoy the feeling. I'm happy you've found some relief, and I hope it lasts a long time!!
  3. Hello, Kort, Yes, I can assure you that you're not alone, you're not crazy. I've had experiences similar to you. Don't worry, and just enjoy that job and enjoy that feeling! You are not crazy!! Many people with depression love their jobs. I've not loved every job I had, but one of the jobs, where I worked a long time, alleviated my depression symptoms and I was happy when I worked there. Depression is not always 100% pervasive 24 / 7. Situations, distractions, and one's current thoughts and attention can make depression feel better or worse. Finding activities that alleviate depression symptoms is one of the biggest goals of therapy. Also, Lexapro is one of the most effective meds for depression, it's the med that I take. So perhaps you've finally found the med that's right for you. I believe when you say that doctors and psychiatrists are mystified, BUT they shouldn't be. The combo of meds, therapy, and activities is the entire protocol to alleviate depression. So, you are one of the success cases!! Maybe they just don't see such success very often!! Keep loving your job as long as you possibly can. Some people do love their job / career for a lifetime. That could be you!!
  4. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Sadness today. I got a little comfort by eating cookies. My mind is agitated today, racing thoughts. On some days I do have peace of mind, but not today. I want peace of mind. I want my problems to go away.
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Dearest BabyGoth, Your Dad is so wrong, and unfortunately he is a dangerous man. I'm going to make a suggestion, please consider it before rejecting it, or at least discuss it here. Perhaps you or your brother should report your Dad to the police for physical abuse, or get someone that you know to report him on your behalf? Before discussing all the pros and cons, right now in the U.S. there is a growing movement to speak up and report all kinds of abuse including physical abuse, domestic abuse, bullying, and sexual abuse. My growing awareness of this leads to my suggestion. How old are you, and how old is your brother? Do you know the proper channels in U.K. for reporting this abuse? You're in my thoughts, BG.
  6. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Thank you, all, for being here and making this thread a comforting and welcoming place to be. It's a refuge. So many people here, with troubles of their own, reach out to others with kindness, compassion and wisdom. I'm always impressed that folks here often know each other well, remember and understand each other's stories, and answer with genuine personal attention, and not trite cliches and platitudes. People who feel that no one listens to them in real life come here, and people really listen to them. It's wonderful!
  7. Dear GAJ, I totally understand what you're saying and how you feel, because I've experienced that same feelings as a woman when I'm at a first date with a man. I feel insecure and quiet. Here is the good news: you should not change your personality at all, you don't need to. The only thing you need, for now, is a simple plan that involves a handful of questions to ask, a handful of interesting or humorous stories, and most important, a plan to be as kind and thoughtful to your date as you possibly can. Most people don't mind the usual first date questions (where you grew up, went to school, work) but you can plan a little more conversation-producing questions: "What was the best vacation you've ever been on" or "Right now, where is your fantasy vacation destination?" or "Did you ever have something make you laugh so hard that you couldn't stop laughing?" if you like this idea, I can suggest a few more questions. Interesting or humorous stories are easy: maybe you have a few of your own, or just surf the Internet for some of the latest trending topics. Being kind and thoughtful: listen to her. Do some old-fashioned things like helping her with the chair, helping her put her coat on. (If she expresses independent objection to the helping stuff, then don't do) I have more very effective advice if you're still there and you answer my reply.
  8. Where is my spark?

    Dear Ruthless, You're not alone, so many of us feel the same way that you feel. Sometimes it's comforting to know that you're not alone in this feeling, but we all wish and know it would be more comforting if the feeling just went away! If you have genuine depression, there are many choices that include medications, therapy and learning coping skills that can help you. Please write again an tell us more about you. Lynn
  9. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Bad day, so sad, so depressed, why am I feeling this way?
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Hi, Everyone! I'm feeling lonely, and unmotivated, so I'm grateful that a few of you are on this thread at the current moment, "in real time". Lynn
  11. Depression and Work/Career

    P.S. hey, morecoffee, your username gave me a great idea and I'm going to make myself a fresh cup of coffee right now!
  12. Depression and Work/Career

    I would be interested to hear what y'all do as jobs. In my lifetime, I've been a special education teacher of deaf and hard of hearing children, an IT programmer and network administrator, and a bookkeeper using QuickBooks at a non-profit organization and at an attorney's office. The jobs have all had their pros and cons.
  13. Hi, Brandon, I'm sending some kindness and sympathy your way, and hoping you can find the right combination of therapy, medication and life/work balance to give you peace of mind. Your technical question about Vyvanse is beyond what most people on the forum could answer, but it's a great question to discuss with your doctor. Tell your doctor that, unlike most patients, you are interested in the science of the medications, and capable of understanding the science of the medications, and would like more information. Also, you can do more research on the Internet, but especially contact the manufacturers of the medication for more information.
  14. Depression and Work/Career

    This is an excellent topic. The people who answer "yes, depression has affected my job" will appreciate an opportunity to discuss it with others in the same situation. I'm here today on DF because I called in sick today to my job!! So, very timely topic for me!
  15. I hate myself

    Dear Maxine, Sending lots of kindness and compassion your way. Your very first question was "I just want to to learn or to accept yourself for who you are?" I'll try to answer your question specifically, with specific examples. 1. Talk to a therapist, and follow the therapist's guidance. You are already seeing a psychologist and she helps you a lot, so you have already taken one major step. Congratulations, and keep seeing your therapist. 2. Take medications. You are afraid to take them, but for many of us the correct prescribed medications have saved our lives physically, and saved our lives emotionally. See a doctor for the correct prescription, and a lot of your torture may be solved. 3. Believe it or not, have some fun with fashion. Even the largest of large people use hairstyle and makeup to look cute. Fashion experts say "Dress the body you have, not the body you wish you had." I'm a large person, so I choose clothing that covers a lot, but clothing with a pretty color or interesting embellishments. For a while, even though I was wearing simply jeans and a large shirt, I would choose feminine shoes instead of clunky shoes, and I would wear pretty earrings. 4. Please ask your therapist if you are seeing your body realistically. I believe that 170 cm and 85 kilos would be 5 foot 6 inches and 187 pounds. Although that's not slender, it doesn't seem "wide as a wardrobe". It goes back to your original question of how to accept yourself, and your mind is making you feel way worse than you are. 5. Ask your therapist to help you create a mantra that you can think all the time. I don't know what, but maybe something like "I'm good the way I am today. I can choose to change something about myself today, but I don't have to, because I'm good the way I am today." Maxine, please write back, lots of people here will listen to you and help you.