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Lynn1954

Silver Member
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Lynn1954 last won the day on September 13

Lynn1954 had the most liked content!

About Lynn1954

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    Silver Member

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    Female
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    Sometimes Chicago, sometimes Pittsburgh!!

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  1. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I hear you, JD, and I understand. The nature and requirements of a job change and get a bunch or new responsibilities added. Bosses either change their attitude, or a new boss with a different attitude comes in and adds stress. A couple of times I was in jobs where the amount of work being asked from me was just not reasonable, not even achievable. Like you, I had always been a hard worker and so I had a basic reputation of "she is not a complainer, she is not a slacker." I used that to be honest with my boss to say "The amount of work on my project to-do list is too much for ANY person, it's not just me who can' do it all, there's nobody who could accomplish all this even with all the overtime in the world. Please direct me on your priorities of what you want me to to do 1st, 2nd, 3rd because I'm not going to be able to do it all". Would something like that solve the problem in your situation, or does it set you up for being fired because you're "an old man who can't handle it any more." Second alternative is to not mention it at all, and just do what you can do and leave the remainder un-finished. Too many jobs are dumping a load of work on employees that is simply an unreasonable load. It makde conscientious employees feel like s h i t because they can't complete, when in reality it's a good or great employee who is being squandered and beaten.
  2. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I understand, thanks for explaining. While your mom is living with you, will you be able to have access to "Home and Community Based Services" that send nursing help, cleaning help, shopping help, etc. ? Every county has a local "Area Agency on Aging" and many of those services are available to all homebound seniors, whether financially challenged or financially well-off. The extra assistance can really help with the stress for both you and your mom.
  3. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Many of us do things that cause pain for ourselves. I've done things like this myself many times. Looking at info about Bryan's ex is a type of obsessive-compulsive behavior but you CAN stop. Promise yourself today to extinguish her from your mind. She is old news. Nothing that she says or does has any relevance to your life, and she doesn't deserve to occupy a single minute of your thoughts. She is nobody to you, so start today to extinguish her from your thoughts and actions, and treat her like nobody. You CAN do this !! Occupy your mind with thoughts of all the wonderful people in your life who are SOMEBODY important to you, and wipe your thoughts clean of people who are NOBODY to you!
  4. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Please try to not get depressed about your weight. I've been in that situation. Although exercise can improve health, exercise is majorly over-rated as a way to lose weight. Choosing different foods and eating less are much more effective. Search the Internet for information about a ketogenic way of eating. Although you need to reduce carbs, there are lots of delicious foods that you're permitted to eat, which makes the keto diet a little bit easier to stick to, and a little bit more effective than old-fashioned low-fat diets.
  5. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I'm so sorry that you're mom is not getting good treatment at the nursing home. I recently helped my aunt to become a full-time permanent resident at a skilled nursing facility, so I'm very interested in this topic. My aunt had very little money, but she's now in a nice, clean nursing home that treats her well. I want to share her story with you in case any of it applies to your situation and your mom. This is the state of Pennsylvania, but it works similar in most states. If a woman is "Nursing Facility Clinically Eligible" (NFCE) and she has little or no money, you can apply for Medicaid to pay the costs of the skilled nursing facility. For example, by the age of 86 my aunt had been diagnosed with Dementia, and her total amount of money in the whole world was only $40,000. She entered the nursing facility, and used her $40,000 to "private pay" the first few months, which cost about $9,000 per month. The nursing facility business office helped our family to submit the application for Medicaid. That application is currently "pending" but we just got word from the state that it's about to be approved. My aunt was a very hard-working woman who was still working as a cashier in a grocery store at age 78 !! She is from a "working poor" family who did everything right and worked hard her whole life and spent her money wisely as best she could, never wasted it, but ultimately didn't have property or a lot of money in the bank. She is the type of person who is well deserving of Medicaid assistance for someone who is elderly and sick. Perhaps your mom is in a similar situation, but you haven't yet learned how to apply? What is your mother's physical or mental diagnosis? If she is not able to take care of herself, then she is probably "Nursing Facility Clinically Eligible". You're not happy with her current nursing home, but does she have access to a different nursing home (either private or state-run) that is licensed by the state to accept Medicaid patients? In Pennsylvania, many of the skilled nursing facilities licensed by the state to accept Medicaid patients are fabulous: competent and compassionate medical staff and helpers, clean and beautiful facilities. They are not the "horror stories" that sometimes we hear on the news media. My family started this process knowing NOTHING about how the skilled nursing facility system and government Medicaid system works. Perhaps I can help you to ask the right questions for your mom's situation in your state.
  6. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Like many of you, I also feel that things are not going to get better, and each day is a struggle. More than once I worked at jobs that I hated, that is a crushing feeling. I'd get brief relief on Friday afternoon as I drove away, then all too fast it's Sunday night, with that sickening feeling in my stomach and terrible dread and desperation. Thank you to everyone who writes here, I know this thread helps me a lot, and many of you have said that this thread helps you, too.
  7. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Hello, JAS, I'm sorry you feel bad today. I hope you feel better later !!
  8. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Wow, having a hard time keeping down my sadness and anxiety. I've been crying a little bit. I'm trying to think positive thoughts about myself. I'm the total opposite of a narcissistic personality, but I'm trying to adopt just one characteristic of the way they think: I just want to like myself and accept myself. I want to stop criticizing myself and putting myself down. As I'm writing this, I'm thinking that I might be able to train my mind to accept myself.
  9. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I'm so glad that your friend will be visiting today. It's great to talk to somebody who understands and cares.
  10. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    @Kogent5 THANK YOU SO MUCH for making me laugh at myself, I'm actually laughing out loud right now !! In my previous message, I'd written Although I haven't started yet, I'm about to begin reading some books with the themes of "forgive yourself" and "starting over despite previous mistakes." and then you logically asked me "What are you reading?" Well, I'm laughing because my statement was my depressed self thinking vaguely that I "should" search the Internet or buy a book at Amazon about those topics because that would be a good way to help myself and possibly feel better. But, of course, like many depressed people, I don't always do what I think about, it's just wishful thinking !! I haven't actually searched for or purchased any such reading material !! And no gumption yet to do so !!
  11. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Thank you for sharing more of your story. You're correct that all of it contributes to one big ugly ball of depression. One word of encouragement -- if you decide to try anti-depressants again, Lexapro has been excellent for me, and in the many years that I've been taking Lexapro it has given me many days / weeks / months of peace of mind. I'm having a tough emotional time right now, but I'm positive that I'd be much worse without the the Lexapro. During the start-up of 4 to 8 weeks sometimes it does make a person feel worse, then it kicks in and one feels the benefits.
  12. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Ha Ha nothing wrong with a little panic mode cleaning, it's usually a lot faster than regular cleaning so you get it done in half the time !!
  13. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Wow, that's perfect coping mechanism, very visual. Even though it takes you some work to keep it effective, I'll bet that visualization saves you many times during the day.
  14. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    Sorry about the headache and fatigue, but thrilled that you got to see an old friend who is still as terrific now as he was thirty years ago. That is a real blessing !! I'm happy for you and for him !!
  15. Lynn1954

    How Do You Feel Right Now #8

    I hope you get back some pep in your step very soon!! Maybe a good dinner will make you feel better!!
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