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Everything posted by APFSDS

  1. I'm okay, but very worried. If this makes sense. All sorts of difficulties have arisen in my friend's life and I fear these might affect their mental health. Luckily there's a safety net, in a manner of speaking, that wasn't there before for both of us. The news titles are irritating as f*** too. Makes me angry the journos aren't tactful.
  2. Dreadful hangover. Insulted a few people and was generally a twonk. Cheerfully regretting all of it lol.
  3. I'm grateful that there are people helping me and others. People who don't take this as a job, but rather it's becoming more obvious that they actually WANT to help. Yes, they're overworked to heck... but they're just f'ing amazing.
  4. My world is indeed just an illusion made by myself. I want to shatter.
  5. I want to hug people. lol There are a few people who I'd gladly hug, because they've been so freaking awesome.
  6. I feel like I have no other qualities except tolerating pain.
  7. Walked for 40 km without stuff. This prolly counts as SH, but it's good for ya, innit! Google fit failed again and told me that I deffo walked only 7 miles. Thanks, gugl. Met a dog who was awesome and discovered a bubblegum sodie pop in a little village shop - fancy.
  8. I went for a very long walk today. Potentially not wanting to return. And the only one that cared was a dog that greeted me about 20 miles in... I heard a patter of feet and looked back, it was a large dog. She came up to me and licked my fingers and pressed herself against me wagging her tail. I petted her and told her to go back, she didn't... she followed me for over a mile. At first sneakily then she sort of bounced around when I looked at her ... kinda like showing her territory. This is a mailbox, this is the rock, this is the stick... c'mon sad limping human, life ain't so bad. All the way to the junction and I did actually feel better... dogs are good people.
  9. Define safe. I just feel terribly alone, there's nobody to talk to. I'd feel safe in a burning building if there was a reliable person around.
  10. I feel disappointed in myself. The world seems to be dissolving into fudge.
  11. Bruichladdich is definitely Bruhladdihhh not BruhLaddie! The ending makes no sense as "laddie" with "laddich" ... by those rules Loch would be pronounced Loieeee or Pibroch as Pibroieeeee So, Brian Cox and distillery staff... yer wrang! An' I'm nae scottish! edit: well, it's obviously water
  12. I feel worthless and a burden. I'm really afraid that I caused something.
  13. Seems I might've fallen into a conundrum I'm ill prepared to deal with. The support needs support from me! But I will not give up. I will not just disappear. The saying "Help us, help you." can be interpreted in different ways. This time they're all valid.
  14. I feel like I've been living in a fantasy land. All my thoughts and assumptions were bullshit.
  15. You are strong! It's a good way of looking at things. I'm trying. Thank you!
  16. I feel guilty again and very sad. I don't even know what the hell I'm doing...
  17. Hmm, birthday thing was pretty good. Good genuine people. Sad to leave tbh.
  18. This sounds miserable. I'm sorry. I might be in charge, but it's not quite like that. I really need people right now, but when I go to such things I just feel worthless. I'm forcing myself to go out and accept social situations... because if I don't it'll only get worse. But you're right about taking a few breaks when at such events, thanks!
  19. Been invited to a birthday thingy. I've not been to such an event since a friend's... in 2003 Not exactly looking forward to it. Miserable and frustrated, ashamed and I'd really like to disappear.
  20. Ran a bit, improved my time. Only because I was angry as heck.
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