APFSDS

Went for a walk with somebody. Bit exhausted... I haven't actually talked like that for years. Last time may have been in the military. I've missed conversations SO MUCH.

Feeling better. Bit buzzy in a vaguely good way...

Pedalled the hell out of my fixed bike - did a loop around half the town. Ok day, felt ok afterwards.

Calmly terrified? I felt less afraid when somebody miscalculated a grid reference or that one time I nearly drove off a transporter with a forklift or when a driver said: "Uhuh, dude... I lost my brakes!" on a slope.

Pullups, pullups, bow pulling exercises with elastic band. Did some running yesterday, fizzed out quickly lol... need to rest. Had to get two front gear switch assemblies, as it seems I didn't notice they were chewed up too haha. Hopefully some single track biking this evening, then.

I think I feel relieved and quite good. I finally did something I should've done a long time ago. Quite an achievement... It's odd to think, that desperation may actually be the catalyst for nice things too...

Hope?

Very bad. Make it stop.

Yup! Hydraulic disc brakes are great, but it's a pain in the backside to do certain maintenances on them - or at least for me Cables are ok, just get a cable and swap it, tension it and done! Hydraulics... speshul mineral oil, speshul cup, speshul plug, speshul tubes, speshul bag, speshul syringe... irritating if there's an easier way to do this...

Had a really bad anger episode. Lots of C-words and various creative combinations. Tired, can't sleep... hopeless.

Did a full brake replacement a few weeks ago. Probably lost my temper a few times an hour Some walking today uphill.

My mtb bike swallowed a branch, so I guess no that sort of exercise for a week until my derailleur arrives Walking and walking, some running. A remote event is coming up next week, gonna do my part.

I feel ok-ish, I guess. But I just want to gtfo...

I tried running yesterday. I almost cried that I COULD run again. Did 6km with only a bit of effort. I remember in 2006 when I started running (around April), I cried that I COULDN'T do half a kilometer without pain...

I might get a warning for cruelty. But I have quite strong doubts...