APFSDS

I lost some 6 kg (~13 pounds) since I made a post here in February. I no longer snort like a pug when tying my shoes. I guess that's a win.

I'm still managing to do something almost every day. Yesterday I went cycling along the riverside and walked a bit too. Today I'm exhausted and too tired to do any exercise. Not physically, though.

Breaded fish fillets with chili seasoning, cottage cheese and black rye bread.

The percentage of "ghosts" within. It's just my way of saying Calvados. I've had a few sips of coffee now.

I'm a ****ing coward. I'm unable to be a decent human being.

Fiery Apple Juice

I'm having thoughts of people thinking I'm an awful human being. So, naturally I feel like garbage. But they'll tell you, it's ok not to feel ok. Well, good... that fixed it!

Oizys is tormenting me, but if I curse Nyx for bearing her... I will get Nemesis at my doorstep... as if ANOTHER visitation would be welcome.

Poorly.

I don't really know where to put this, but I'll slap it here. I probably should contact my doc, but can't bring myself to do it. Maybe I'll get some opinions from you folks? I've had obvious depression since late 2012, getting worse over time. Energy loss was really pronounced. Studies and job gone. Mood mostly flatline low with chasms about once a year. I kinda got disappointed by everything a few months ago and stopped all my meds by throwing the turkey in the freezer. No consultation with the doc. Now that I haven't taken any meds except zopiclone (sleeping switch doesn't work), my mood's been all over the place. My doc does sort of know about the wavy mood, and has mentioned "mood stabilizers". But that can't be right, what is she suggesting? There have been sort of "high-like" things, where I'll go like this: "Hey, I can't sleep... but I know! I'll be an awesome painter and improve my skill by just buying technology! How much is it €1599? NO PROBLEM!!! Hey! You know what?? I'll be a digital sculptor... but in VR!!! How much is it? NO PROBLEM!!! I seem to recall you mentioning that you need an electric scooter that could do 40 km/h AND support 150 kg cargo??? HOW ABOUT..." I think I need to see my doc. Terrified to go do things, though. Appointments, calls and consultations. My heart beats like a gong when paying for ice cream or calling my friend.

Not too bad, bit tired.

Coffee with honey as a sweetener.

Various nuts and berries.

I feel abandoned. Not lonely, but just thrown in the bin. 👍I deserve this

Frozen protein food module. I believe some humans call it "cream in the form of ice".