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APFSDS last won the day on May 3 2021

APFSDS had the most liked content!



  • Birthday 05/31/1989

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  1. Despite dismal thoughts, I manage to be more or less stable. So thats good
  2. I feel like I'm a burden and fake. There may be a possibility that I have BPD; which may explain my unusual bipolar-like rapid moodswings... though it's not certain and not really pursued to diagnosis. Very intense feelings of how I behaved. Also my Su-id has come back really badly and self injury is almost weekly in one form or another... intense jealousy is rampant too. Tired, very tired. Lost hope in medication too
  3. I feel like my world is crumbling again; whatever I fixed and built up last year is just breaking apart...
  4. Got progressively more and more cheerful
  5. Miserable. Meds kinda work, but that's the other kind of hell - no motivation, no energy and no creativity...
  6. 32C degrees of summer Good thing I live in the North... d:
  7. I cooked a stew I never thought I'd cook. Proof that I'm a c**t. I hate myself so much...
  8. I think I've gone on the offensive against depression and anxiety. I had a very bad time a month ago. And there still might be very severe storms ahead in my mind. But I accepted help from my friend and agreed to take meds again. Feeling more hopeful, but not out of the woods yet.
  9. I'm okay, but very worried. If this makes sense. All sorts of difficulties have arisen in my friend's life and I fear these might affect their mental health. Luckily there's a safety net, in a manner of speaking, that wasn't there before for both of us. The news titles are irritating as f*** too. Makes me angry the journos aren't tactful.
  10. Dreadful hangover. Insulted a few people and was generally a twonk. Cheerfully regretting all of it lol.
  11. I'm grateful that there are people helping me and others. People who don't take this as a job, but rather it's becoming more obvious that they actually WANT to help. Yes, they're overworked to heck... but they're just f'ing amazing.
  12. My world is indeed just an illusion made by myself. I want to shatter.
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