APFSDS

no worries it's just the usual feeling a bit groggy at the moment, I believe it's called an "overhang" or was it a "hovercraft" or "botherbang".

Hey! The holding it in might work, yes. I've had the opposite(not swallowing; and an opposite treatment - to swallow) like 20 years ago for a year or so. Triggered by a surgery+wearing braces, but it eventually morphed into something more bearable: gently clearing the throat and then it disappeared completely after a few more years. Are you getting any treatment by professionals? Ask for some form of reassuring methods and exercises from the therapist.

Very sad and lonely.

Warren Zevon - My Sh's is F'd Up

I just started watching this one quite funny and marvelously cringe. I'm surprised Peep Show isn't on there with Mitchell and Webb.

Seems I'm getting addicted to apple and juniper juice. I lack an outlet completely... nobody to talk to. My family are impossible to talk to. My only friend will get triggered easily... and I can't get anybody else to talk to me. Psychologist coming up next week... after almost two months of leave. Truth be told I've been having an awful two months... I reality is being questioned, which person is which. I can't handle it.

If anyone's familiar with the spongebob "not needing water" meme... well, here I am waiting my fracture to heal... and I NEED TO RUN, I NEED IT! I NEED IT! I NEED IT! So, instead I go biking... LOL

I fear if I experience one more loss-trauma, I'll tear myself apart. I never had anyone to talk to except psychologists and doctors... it's not enough. It just isn't. I had quite a morning today; I was very angry and frustrated... threw away some shit, shouted a bit and demolished a few cups.

I guess we have trouble with guilt and self-esteem I know it's important to let yourself be helped, but it's so fing difficult.

I used to dring excessively. Anxiety was through the roof. I mean strong coffee, in a large mug. 5 times a day average. Now I'm mostly drinking once in the morning when I get up. Background anxiety isn't too awful, but I doubt it was only because of coffee habits. Coffee makes me feel a bit better in terms of mood problems.

The Sensational Alex Harvey Band - Hammer Song Love it.

I hate myself so much. I have two support workers, they told me I need this help they're providing... but I'm not even calling them, because I think I'm wasting their time. I don't deserve it.

With great power comes a large electric bill

Not too bad. Foot hurts, it's been doing so for months. I suspect I've actually managed to get a "stress fracture" and didn't let it heal - it feels like one. It's funny, mental anguish was so awful that I didn't really care about my foot being on "fire". Gotta get an xray.

Some running; dunno 3 miles? Did a ring around town early in the morning on my bike like 2-4 am lol...