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adropintheocean

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About adropintheocean

  • Birthday 06/03/1989

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  1. I hope you have a fabulous day! ღ Lindsay

  2. I used alcohol heavily when I was 19-21 years old. Partied hard 5 nights a week, had an active social life, tons of "friends" and always got invited to social events. I used the alcohol to cover up my depression and transform in to the uninhibited, outgoing person I dreamed about. It worked...but the side effects weren't worth it. There are alternative ways that won't lead to poor decisions, bad health and regrets. I contracted EBV (mono) when I was 20 and was partying so heavily that I didn't take any time to recover... 5 years later and I'm still paying for it. Exhaustion, fatigue and overall poor health. Steer clear from alcohol! Here's a great article with tips on how to go to social gatherings (that center around booze) without actually drinking: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-7891/why-i-dont-drink-alcohol-how-to-cut-back-on-booze-without-being-a-hermit.html
  3. Good Morning "Drop". I know the feeling...I am just now coming out of a 40+ year un-diagnosed Dysthymic Depression. The fog can really zap you of the will to keep moving in a positive manner. You really sound like you're in the grips of a serious depressive state...for that I'm sorry, and hope that the veil of dreariness in your life lifts soon. Tell me this, are you in the care of a mental health professional? I never thought that I was "depressed" since all my peers & friends said that I was the most-hilarious person that they had ever seen.....I was outgoing & happy on the outside, but anxiety riddled on the inside (just like most comedians are). Anyways, seeing a professional (finally) was the best thing I have ever done for myself!! After a month or so of weekly therapy sessions, I came to the realization that I was indeed depressed AND Co-Dependent as well.... I started a regimine of Wellbutrin & Lorazepan....and Viola! doing MUCH better now. i am even considering joining-in on a Co-Dependent support group, in an effort to combat the lingering CoD issues (something I never would have contemplated before). I am also reading as much as I can on Depressive disorders & CoD, in an effort to better understand how I may grow into the person I was meant to be. My only suggestions would be: - Reach-out to a therapist (seek recommendations from primary care doc, or your local health dept). I found mine by Googling Mental Health Therapists...and I struck gold on the 1st try. - Get your primary care doc to do bloodwork, in order to see if you're deficient in needed nutrients (i.e. Vit. B-6, Folate, B-12, Magnesium, etc), as they are key players in mental health. I wish you well ma'am.....take care & let us know how you are doing - CD Thanks for the reply BoneSpur. I saw a therapist a couple years back after I had just left an emotionally abusive relationship. At that time in my life, I had an acceptable "reason" (at least to my friends/family) to be depressed and it made it easier to open up to loved ones about it. Little did they know I had been depressed long before, and I am still. But they were more understanding of my situation at the time and encouraged me to see a therapist. So I did. But I had a hard time opening up and was still putting on my happy face, even when I was with the therapist. She had little advise that I hadn't already heard: surround myself with positive influences, take part in activities I enjoy, etc. etc... I've heard it all before and already knew what I should be doing, it's just that I didn't have any desire to any more. Maybe she just wasn't the right therapist for me? I took Celexa for almost two years after that. It helped some, but I didn't enjoy the side effects. I just didn't feel myself. It was helping my depression, but I felt like it was making me crazy. I stopped taking it about 7 months ago now and have tried living a healthier lifestyle, taking supplements, practicing yoga, meditating... I'd rather beat this without drugs, but it just isn't going away. It scares me to think that I might be dealing with this the rest of my life. I will think about seeking out a new mental health professional... though the cost of it is daunting.
  4. If I could, I would stay in bed all day, every day, for the rest of my life and I think I would be content. I feel exhausted, unmotivated, tired and "different" from everybody else. I have lost all my friends because I don't have the energy, or even desire, to make an effort to get together. I feel like I would be content staying in bed if it weren't for this societal pressure to be "normal" and to have friends. I have a job and am able to put on a happy face, but it is tiring. My acquaintances think I'm a happy, optimistic person. I was once, so it's not so hard to pretend. But it's not real anymore. What has helped me in the past is going on a spectacular hike, practicing yoga, scuba diving or sitting by a fire under the stars. It's in these moments where I feel alive again and appreciate the beauty of this beautiful planet we live on. But those moments are few and far between. Real life is filled with repetitive, mundane tasks that leave me unmotivated, tired and wanting to retreat back to my bed where I can do nothing, be nothing. I wish our world didn't revolve around money so I wouldn't have to leave my bed to work. I'm just so tired. I used to have so much energy growing up and even through college. I had friends, went to parties, enjoyed a social life and best of all, I had the energy to do it all. I feel like I started battling depression at the beginning of college but I wasn't sure what it was. It was this deep unhappiness inside me, but I was still able to function. I kept going and I had energy. And then suddenly depression took over. It's like I hit a wall where I had no energy left. I couldn't keep hiding my unhappiness from myself. It's seeped in to my life and now taken my friends. It's left me wanting to stay in bed all day, every day.... I'm tired of being tired of being tired of being tired.... it's a vicious cycle.
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