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scienceguy last won the day on December 1 2015

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About scienceguy

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  1. I m bipolar and ended up the same way the last time I visited a friend was two years ago, before I was diagnosed and medicated i would go on facebook about my si when depressed ,than start condemning everyone in my life when I was manic delete them from my facebook then put them back on I must have looked like a nutcase, I told everyone I was putting myself in IOP because I was ignored I told my one friend from childhood I was dx bipolar than he stop responding to my messages now that im a cocktail of moodstablizers and anti depressants I rarely act the same way and have much shorter bouts of depression/ mania.I talk to quite alot of people despite that I see my therapist every week and always get along well with my coworkers. I have made alot of friends but they would usually only last 3 months at the max. It would probably be different now that im medicated but I am content being alone for now. I make sure now to never tell people im bipolar because im stable now so they won't even realize it unless I tell them and it's not worth ruining my reputation and having others make assumptions. It is very common for bipolar people to be isolated though based on what I have read.
  2. I would cook for her or say you want to go to eat at a nice restaurant, people are born with different tastes buds 25% of people have barley any taste buds and about 25% have alot more. I have a brother that can't cook he makes the most vile tasting things imaginable and chucks handfuls of garlic into everything throws every spice in the kitchen with no regards for the taste, I just assume he is one of those people with few taste buds, while i have to many. Maybe your girlfriend is the same way, how does she cook.
  3. I would try online dating websites I used them and managed to get a few dates I was unemployed on break from my college a year and a half ago and got alot of replies I graduated my parents moved in with me and im in a ton of debt so I stopped trying to date at all because I was putting myself in more credit card debt and when I told the girl I was seeing, we need to start spliting the bill when we go out because my money was tight she stopped texting me I didn't care though because I started college again and wasn't in to her because she was to masculine,she told me she used to be a bodybuilder and would dehydrate her muscles and her father was a drill Sargent she was nothing like her profile so we just stopped communicating after a 2 months. I don't think you would have problems since you seem to have your life together more than me especially since your looking for girls that don't drink or do drugs you could use the filter to find girls who don't drink or smoke.I think woman would be interested in someone who did martial arts. Expect to send alot of messages though and to you need to have a thick skin becausealot of woman ignore messages or will be flaky.
  4. Can depression make you upset with everyone?

    Yes i am a very irritable person, I feel like my natural state is to be angry with everyone or annoyed i feel uncomfortable if im getting along with my family, I was raised in a dysfunctional family so i feel lost when everyone is at peace or not fighting im 27 and lost all my friends years ago I talk to tons of people but keep them at a distance, im used to being alone now where it feels unnatural for me to have friends or family and getting along with them. I get along well with the coworkers I had and my classmates in college and people i met when I went to group therapy but still feel bitterness over my childhood and disappointment with what I have accomplished so far in life I feel like im always in a competition that im losing at with everyone.
  5. Does Anyone Work From Home?

    I literally feel and think the same way as what you right it does feel awful to at a minimum wage job with a bunch of people that don't even have there Ged's and have criminal records like I did when I worked at a ****ing gas station with my bachlors in biology I took the most difficult classes possible and had no life in college took hard science classes for my electives. I always feel like i have to prove im going to get a better job and im always bringing up interviews i get because I feel like I have to defend myself. Maybe try to get a job in a upscale clothing store or restaurant why haven't you gotten your license yet Germophobia or a fear of driving. I would still get a job what if you and your boyfriend break up, I would think that would cause alot of tension eventually and employers don't like to see big gaps in unemployment.
  6. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Be careful if you take st johns wort, when I took it, it sent me into episodes of intense manic rage. Its ridiculous the government doesn't regulate something that could be so dangerous.
  7. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    i haven't been on here in a while, but i feel a little better i got a seasonal job at Bonton and have a interview at a hospital for a lab assistant position. I feel old I know im not I just turned 27 last week and im reevaluating my life. I can't believe im working minimum wage still after graduating from college a year and a half ago. i can't give up and will keep applying and getting what ever licences I need in the future to work in medicine, its my calling I have to do it since I was a little boy I always wanted to be a scientist and work in a lab when I had a temp job working in a lab i felt settled in life I felt there were alot of career paths that I could advance into, I got the same feeling when volunteering at hospitals that I have more empathy then the average person so it is my duty to help people. I just need money im buried debt from the money i owe my parents, student loans and credit card debt everybody keeps telling me to give up that college was a waste of money, my father says to forget about getting a job in what I went to school for and just to get a normal job, I would rather die than giveup on getting the career I want I don't want kids im single all i have are my aspirations if gave up on that I would have nothing left to keep me going. i just wish I could go back to when I was younger and gotten treatment for my bipolar sooner, I would have accomplished so many more goals than I have at 27.
  8. So fed up with being a jobless loser

    You will get a job just don't give up and try to improve yourself a little each day anyone who has been successful just has a higher tolerance for failure I have sent well over 1000 applications gone over 25 interviews and just got rejected again this week but I will not give up even if I new failure was guaranteed I would fight for where I wanted to be in life till I die . I failed my driving test 8 times well beyond anyone I know i was 22 when I finally got it. i got put on academic probation when I was younger and told myself I was to stupid to get my degree I eventually got it I retook organic chemistry 3 times but I got my bachelors despite what I told myself . To hell with what everyone thinks, just pursue what you want we all end up in the same place it doesn't matter what you achieve its that you accept the journey and can enjoy the path that life takes you, go outside enjoy the trees, notice the different flowers, the clouds the animals, the wind, and the sun. Do things and don't worry about the outcome people who worry about being successful are robbing themselves of joy.
  9. GA it sounds like your trigemnial nerve may be damaged I would try to go to a neurolgist [link removed, Mayo Clinic 'Trigeminal Neuralgia Symptoms']
  10. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I feel like stopped drinking coffee forgot to take my effxor for 2 days fell asleep for 15 hours woke up to everyone screaming at because I didn't clean because I was unconscious get blamed for everything my hands shaking my head chickening me feeling nauseous with motion sickness barely able to speak and think trying to deflect attacks from my family as why i didn't clean everything i just I didn't know I was unconscious how am i suppose to wake myself up, I usually sleep between 3-6 hours everyday. My father started to try to get into a political debate screaming racial slurs about people from the mid east while telling me im a bum and everything I believe is bulls*** my degree is a waste there is no such things as facts im an ***** because I have no money according to him. I just kept repeating that I don't want to discuss anything political at all I just want to be left alone that I felt sick. everyday my father tries to get me to fight with him. I had a interview on Tuesday to work as a mold technician and didn't get the job so everyone has been at my throat since tuesday. I have to wait for my father to calm down before I can even start cleaning I can't mentally deal with him screaming at me while im cleaning criticizing me I tell him im sick of fighting with him and im not going upstairs till he leaves the house or stops ranting and raving. I am going to try to do voulnteer work at the hospital I interviewed at twice. Im trying to keep my mouth shut around him I wish I could rip his tongue out from his mouth. My therapist said every time I get into a shouting match with him im falling into his trap.
  11. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Be careful you won't die from the prozac and alchohol but do not drink if your on any anti anxiety meds like xanex.
  12. Tell Them Off Here

    Happy thanksgiving Dad you can kiss my ass, your a know nothing dumb ass homer simpson look alike
  13. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Im very frustrated that I have gotten called to do any job interviews in over 2 weeks. Feeling very sad and lonely I watched a documentary about the elephant man it was a guy in England who suffered from a unknown disease. He was horribly disfigured people saw him as a monster his whole life and he died at 27 alone in the basement of a hospital he was kept in. It just destroyed my mood and reminded me how alone I am in the world to.
  14. I'll never have a real job/career

    Are you getting interviews I can always find jobs that my degree is useful in i get a decent amount of interviews what I do everyday is right down a list of companies and job websites than I go thru it everyday for an hour and apply to every new position that pops up that day. I have multiple cover letters I use and different resumes so I can breeze thru them all I live in NJ where there is a big pharmaceutical industry, medical jobs and alot of scientific research. Are new governor is likely to legalize recreational ganji, I saw a few jobs that were looking for people with degrees in biology to test and grow product. I also have applied to be a tour guide and look for environmental jobs. agriculture etc. I just applied to a job to be an environmental scientist today I just wrote down a bunch of search terms from indeed to use. I would have normally thought I wasn't qualified for that kind of position if I did not research it . Good luck Chubbybunny89 I hope you find something soon.
  15. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Very bored getting depressed again,still trying to get my life on track. I have alot of hopeless thoughts that are growing louder and louder in my head, overpowering the rational hopeful thoughts. I know there not true and im not doomed but I just can't shake the feeling that my life is hopeless even though I know for a fact that im distorting reality.