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scienceguy

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scienceguy last won the day on December 1 2015

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About scienceguy

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  • Birthday 12/27/1990

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    Reading,rock music,classical music, gaming,hiking,art,acting,science,medcine,biolgy,physics, existenalism,buddism,medation,tennis,vegatarinism,

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  1. What's On Your Mind Right Now?

    I have been getting anxious lately I keep imagining when im driving a flash going off from a nuclear bomb burning everyone to death, I know how people in the cold war felt now, i looked up stuff about nuclear weapons,videos of tests, biography of Hiroshima victims when I was younger and it has scarred me, North Korea has icbm's now and their last nuclear test was 18 times the size of the Hiroshima, the sanctions aren't working the rhetoric is becoming more violent. I don't see anyway they will give up there nuclear weapons, I told my therpist I was so worried about it.
  2. Alternative Thinking: Atheism

    Im getting so sick of being told to pray for a job by my parents, I told them im not wasting my time on that rubbish, im the only one they tell to my sister is an atheist and they never bother her. My grandmother said they same thing though she is not as pushy she randomly told me its the end of the world and I have to pray so I don't go to hell I told her im going to hangup the phone if she keeps telling me to pray I said I don't tell her to pray to hindu gods or zeus to save her soul from there concepts of hell. Religious people get on my nerves so much especially when they just pretend to be religious and know nothing about the bible my parents don't even know the 10 commandments and are telling me to be religious, I took a college theology class and have read the bible for hours every morning and wrote a ten page exogesus I a quote I picked from the book of matthew and went to ccd till I was 10. Thank god(lol) I don't live in the south my family in Floridian are crazy religious.
  3. I need to vent

    thank you for the support I think your right I know my friends dad said that he interviewed 50 times he had a master's in programming, He Moved to New York city I was surprised that he had such a difficult time finding a job, I told my parents the same thing that im competing with 100 hundreds of people I have to be at the top of the list if im always getting interviews I got told I was the second choice at a bone grafting place and complemented on my interview so something has to work out eventually.
  4. I need to vent

    I just wanted to reply and say im doing better today I haven't been employed in my career field for a year and 4 months. I am not willing to give up and pursue something im not interested as I know if I keep trying something has to work. I am doing something on the side selling paintings, art and furniture for one of my mothers real estate clients, I have been to a career center and have gone over questions at my university I went there at least 5 to 6 times and found that the advice they were given me wasn't helping I have another interview being arranged for a lab tech position for 18 an hour Again I will try my best maybe go over more interview questions watch interviews look up the lab techniques required for the job in case I have any questions I would think it would be a red flag for any employer I was interviewing with if I asked them if I could record my self I was thinking of teaching but do not think I have the temperament to deal with kids or young adults allday. I will Pm you I don't come on here as much though and have to delete some of my messages.
  5. I need to vent

    Im so p***** off, right now im shaking with rage , im so sick of being poor so sick of trying and not getting anywhere, I had a interview at Starbucks I went dressed nice I was confident felt like I gave a great interview I talked about my past experience in retail and how it related to the position why I wanted to work there, etc. It's been a week and a half, they haven't gotten back to me so thats more of my time wasted, It just makes me so ****ing mad they interview and don't think I have the capability the experience or competence to serve ****ing coffee. I had another interview last week at a hospital to clean surgery tables overnight, i have my degree in biology and would like to get a job in a lab or get further qualifications to fill other positions at a hopstial so, I think to myself this is great, the hospital is literally a minute away from my house, my professors who taught at my university work there as doctors some of my classmates are there, my friends dad is there. I feel like I gave one of my best interviews I got a short haircut, wore a nice suit went in confident had a strong handshake and I felt like I gave my best interview had good chemistry with the interviewer, yet im preemptively mad i won't get the job again. I have been going to my therapist, im doing emdr now and he is really helping me every therapy session I go into a rage when I describe my childhood to him he is helping me work through it though. He has me to some type of mediation and I just describe what pops in, we are slowly working thru my traumatic memories from childhood. Everytime I go to a job interview and don't get hired I feel the same kind of rage I have towards my father. Its so intense it blinds me from thinking or functioning.I just feel like my whole being is devoid of anything except anger. Im just waiting for it to subside so I can think clearly. I figured if I vented on here that would get help me emotionally regulate.
  6. Does the Pain in the World disturb you?

    yeah bother me to laurynen Cat, as I have gotten older I have lost all faith in humanity,humans are wild violent animals like chimps, you take any person and they will grow up what ever there culture or society tells them there empathy extends only to there immediate group, animals are tortured in factory farms people will watch the suffering and laugh, you could describe wars to people tell them how many children are burned alive from the bombs we drop to help the wealthy maintain there power and first world countries maintain there innocence almost all countries have a history of some type of genocide,no one cares its all an abstraction to them, they and there tribe got theirs so **** everyone else. The average Americans mentality is I got mine **** you and everyone else. We have the resources for everyone to live comfortably we coud easily avoid wars if the human species wasn't so stupid and savage.
  7. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I had such a strong feeling of disgust learning about that trash i hope they start lynching the KKK and neo nazis like they used to do to black people, just thinking about it makes me angry. That piece of trash rode into those people just like someone in isis, what really disgusts me are people trying to defend him, my father did the nazi salute when I came past to aggravate me he is such a piece of crap. I hope they smash those confederate statues into a thousand piece, if I was in charge I would publicly hang that terrorist so the whole world could see.
  8. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Another job interview another failure, every time I think im going to get hired, my hopes and dreams are smashed into pieces. I don't know what to do at this point. It feels like im trying to break out of a concrete room by banging my head against a wall until it cracks.
  9. The Effect Religion Had On Me

    I always say Satan as the good guy in the bible he want to give man knowledge and live on there natural instincts while god wants to punish everyone for how they feel and demands worship that just my outsider perspective as a athesist.
  10. I want to change but how do I change?

    Do what you want to hell with what your parents think, my parents told me to do the opposite to go to trade school instead of college but I went anyway and don't regret it for one second I have got interviews in fields I would have never gotten in places for bone grafting, research and development,t drug testing, working with the EPA, pathology assistant Im still looking for a job I have a phone interview for tomorrow im gonna keep trying till I die to do what I want and to hell with what anyone else thinks or tells me to do GO to trade school if that is what want to do, you can do something cool like glass blowing, auto repair, computer repair, welding, elevator repair, plumbing, electrician, coding and many other things If you do what you want you will find the right path in life if you do what other people want you will be wasting your time and always regret your decision.
  11. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    Im getting depressed I feel like im trapped in my house I have no where to go, I have no healthy relationships with anyone im unemployed and im watching my parents dog the only thing that loves me lol I take her for walks around the neighbor and speak to my neighbors while im out but she is a nutcase and runs after other dogs barking and trying to attack them , she barks like crazy at people to the condo is signed in my name now,my parents probably make around 200,000 thousand a year together and are waiting for me to find a job I make sure i do applications everyday but haven't heard from anyone this week one temp agent called i missed the call though because I left my phone in car I call them back a few times Maybe they will get back to me when the weekend is over. It feels pointless to leave my house as i feel aimless just walking around with no goal making small talk with cashiers or people when im on line in stores. The only thing I look forward to is games of throne tonight I might go to baskin robbins to go through the drive through to get ice cream while i watch it she loves to ride in the car
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    I know how you feel I have been on a diet my whole life but I never can follow through with my calorie intake the only thing i look forward to is food I have nothing else in my life. At least you were working out so that probably offsets the brownie I would give your self credit for that,you ate healthy for most of the day and exercised you will probably are burning more calories than you took in despite the brownie.
  13. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" (4)

    p***** off im a miesarble Barsteward today, I don't want to see anybody im sick of being broke im sick of trying in life and failing. Failed at any relationship I attempted failed at getting a career I have been on about 15 interviews didn't get any job, got hired at a gas station than fired im 26 have had my degree for a year and a month im single have no friends stuck with my parents im p***** off and just want to tell everyone off I come into contact with to **** off everyone is more successful than me I don't know why, I'll go to a career advisor get told the same bulls*** again I can't get a job if I can't get passed a interview doesn't matter how many qulafications i get if I just can't get people to like me I can't get ahead in life, I mean there are obviously jobs out there or I wouldn't get interviews. atleast my family is going on vacation I can be at home drunk with the dog not have anyone tell me to get myself together.
  14. EMDR?

    Im actually doing emdr now and Its helping me I have alot of traumatic things that happend in my childhood and my therapist is helping me work through each one using mindfulness. Me and my therapist have been going over this reoccurring memory from when I was four, where my father smashed a water gun into pieces that I got from my uncle, after reliving the memory a few times I became desensitized he would have me recall it every week and then ask me how distressing I found it until it didn't stress me out anymore its worth a try if you had a traumatic experience.
  15. maybe it would help you to set up a life plan like im going to take steps to fix my health issues, work on getting a better career being independent, go to therapy to change my thinking. I am in a similar position im 26 though and have been on dates im confidant I will find someone as long as I follow my plan to focus on getting a career than having my parents moveout etc that just go to groups meet women from work, dating websites etc I don't view it as an impossible thing so I don't feel hopeless and I just try to think about each step in my plan one thing at a time you will make alot more progress focusing on what you can control in your life and gaining that control then look to someone else to give you that stability.