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Everything posted by Kabuto

  1. Hm, is anyone on there willing to do it via the phone though?
  2. Hi all, Might anyone know of a good therapist who would speak via the phone (preferably that accepts Emblem Health HIP or Medicaid)? It would save me the necessary commuting time in person... Warm wishes & Happy New Year.
  3. Well, when I state I want to be single...I suppose I'm lying. I really would like to meet a like minded pretty girl to date. It would be wonderful. Life has been so lonely for me lately... but due to my introversion/reclusion, I haven't met anybody.... *sigh* Not sure if there's really a remedy to this, only to be able to meet someone. But it's frustrating to have a sex drive and be unable to use it.
  4. I have been angry. Angry that people aren't kinder/more compassionate than they are at this moment. Angry that there are people who have been ignorant. Angry that this world had caused me so much suffering... Angry about a lot of different things that have been unfavorable. However: I know that holding on to anger isn't going to change or help my situation. So I do my best to let go of it, in favor of peace in my heart. Of course, I hold gratitude that this world has given me things that makes my experience better on this planet. I do my best to indulge in the positive aspects of life, and not fall into lamenting/despair.... I had even found myself wishing at times that this planet never existed...though in reality, I just wish that the world was a better place. Where can I direct my frustrations though? How can I handle them healthily?
  5. It's been easy for me to regret- thinking about the path not traversed. It has happened to me yet again: I made a decision, and had to pass something up. I'm not sure how I feel. I hope I made the right choice. I tried to use my best judgement... But still... Decisions are hard. All I can do, after a decision is made, is find a way to live in peace with that choice. It hasn't been easy. I had to make an estimate.... In hindsight, sometimes we question our choices... But it's over now. Any recommendations to live with my choice, and not beat myself up over the alternative?
  6. And frankly, it's a waste of my time. By the time I do find a date with a gal... I wish my sex drive wasn't so high. I want to yell it to the stars! I'm tired of dating and such a high sex drive! I want to just buy a quality sex toy and call it a day...
  7. Hi all, I want to live as a hermit, working and living mostly in solitude. I tried so hard to be able to make a living as an artist or writer in solitude.... So hard I tried. Maybe it will still be possible some day, but... how can I survive in the meantime? I seriously am trying my best to find a way out of this mess, and it's been scary.
  8. I guess I'm wondering who my true friends are....
  9. It's crazy: I took so many friendships in my teens/early 20s for granted because I thought they'd be consistent. I never would have thought I'd be in such a friendship drought. I never thought things would be so hard right now.... It's not fair. *sigh*
  10. I understand friendship is not an obligation but a privilege: I get it. Still: being alone and trying to cope with life's hardships with a minimal support system...it's very difficult. I really wish I had an easier way to get through this.
  11. Ugh I'm just tired of everyone of these so called 'friends' neglecting me in my time of need. It's not right....it freaking sucks. I'm so tired of when people act like neglectful scumbags.
  12. Hi guys, My closest friend at one point is now too busy with his own life to make much time for me. To some extent I understand: he has a full time job, a girlfriend, and he lives a little away from me. Even still: it's hurtful when my once best friend no longer makes a large amount of time for me. Especially considering that I don't have a huge amount of friends to begin with, sadly. What do you guys recommend? I feel like if I confront him it'll only make things worse...
  13. Today I caved in. I bought Pokémon Sun version because I really wanted it. However: I feel guilty. I try not to buy anything besides food and clothing because I feel like I'm mooching (even though my reasons for being unemployed right now are pretty much psychological). Then again, it does feel pretty good to get something I enjoy, and to treat myself.
  14. You can look online, I'm sure you can find one. Just Google 'Seasonal Affective Disorder Light Box'
  15. Bumping this due to unresolved concerns I have.
  16. I'm in the Northeast, so our winter's get pretty nippy, even though we do tend to get all four seasons. The November- late February stretch is generally the coldest. Given my current mental state as it is: I certainly do have concerns.
  17. Hi Epictetus, thank you for your input. I will do my best to enjoy the whimsical aspects of winter: that does help. I suppose beyond that, I need actionable steps: to deal with the cold and to deal with getting sufficient light.
  18. I don't have the big body weight stature, so for my thin skinny build, the cold weather effects me more. So I'm wondering what steps I can take. (Particularly for one who doesn't fancy cold weather).
  19. I would advise that you look at every good quality you have. REALLY dig deep. What some might view as a bad quality, others might view as a good quality. (i.e. Slacker vs Laid Back, Dork vs. Intellectual, Anxious vs. Cautious, Overly Sensitive vs. Caring) Use the right positive words to describe yourself. Understand that it's okay that you are who you are. Your endurance for getting this far. Your determination. Your humanity. With others, it's less simple, but doable. First, try to remember that there are always good people out there doing noble things. The people on this forum care about your well being and want you to be okay. There are people who volunteer their time towards justified causes. There are people who donate money to help others. There are people who give however they can: even with a smile, a thank you, a greeting. Someone who gives up their seat on a bus. Yes, I wish that other people were wiser, more open minded, less angry etc. I wish society was better than it is. Yes, there are more jerks than I wish there would be. But even mean people often have their reasons for turning out that way (poor/abusive upbringing, misinformed ideals, etc.)
  20. Hi all, It's getting to that time of year again: winter time. Summer time was easy. Mild weather, easy to leave the house and sit comfortably outdoors and take walks whenever I wanted without feeling the need to bundle up. Winter's a different aspect. It's very easy for me to just want to stay indoors all day and never want to leave the house, with heating in my room and with the outdoors being colder. I want to push past this: I KNOW that being indoors all the time isn't going to solve my problems. Maybe I can stay inside SOME of the time, but not ALL the time. I need natural light, exercise, etc. This is especially true because I'm having employment problems (a separate issue altogether...) So what can I do? I hate uncomfortably heavy clothing and waddling around like a penguin. I like light clothing, like that found in summer. I'm looking for clothes where I can protect from the cold without waddling around. I know women wear leggings, which gives them warmth without taking up much space. But as a guy, I obviously don't want to be wearing leggings. Maybe something like compression pants will help? I'm also considering using my seasonal affective disorder light box. My only concern is that it would use too much electricity. But perhaps I have to overlook that... Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  21. Good point. I suppose the only difference here is that I didn't do anything for the election besides the occassional facebook post and my vote. I want to make sure that even if I had devoted far more time to the election that I singlehandedly could not have changed the outcome based on the statistics.
  22. I suppose there's nothing I could have done then? How can I affirm this feeling for myself and break free of delusional thinking?
  23. Again, yeah, just made this thread to ease my guilt. To recognize that I singlehandedly wouldn't have altered the course of election history, even had I done things differently. I am aware of the irrational mind of those thoughts...right guys? Just need help affirming this.
  24. I'm aware that this thinking is probably unrealistic, but I have to get this out. I really do think that all of this that I'm writing is extremely absurd. But I have to get the thoughts out, and I'd love for people to help ease the guilt that I shouldn't even have. 1. My Thoughts, Feelings, & Prayers My therapist said that in this regard, I have a god complex. But I've had the feeling that maybe I didn't pray hard enough. What if I didn't wish for Clinton to be president enough? What if I had too much doubt? Again, it's naive for me to think my thoughts by themselves can influence the outside world. It's 'magical thinking'. I suppose...only physical outside action can influence the outside world. 2. My Actions So....I voted for Clinton. (It should be noted that I voted in a very blue State) And 'occasionally' I posted on social media and tried sharing things on the Internet. However. I don't feel like I did enough to help. Is it realistic to believe that anything I singlehandedly could have done could have honestly impacted the election? Even though I was unemployed and had the free time: would donating most of my time towards volunteering for the Clinton campaign honestly have mattered? I believe even the closest States in the election were separated by at least 100,000 votes. Could I have been honestly expected convince that many people? That would have required a lot more phone calls or protests than that. And I had no way of knowing which State would vote in which way, that is a hindsight bias. That leaves the idea that maybe I could have thought of some clever idea...maybe some clever YouTube video that spread universally. But again, it's probably naive to expect that I alone could do that... when I'm just some random guy. When you consider that even celebrities with FAR wider fanbases and outreach have spoken out against Trump. I suppose I feel guilty for slacking off. The time I spent relaxing at the pool. The time I spent focusing on the nitpicky aspects of my own life. Maybe I feel like I didn't fight for my country enough.... Like I could have made a difference somehow or something if I found a way to do more. But I want to confirm that it's highly unrealistic to feel that way. 3. Taking Things For Granted I feel like I've taken certain things in my life for granted. As to say, I took the fact of having a President like Obama for granted. As though I didn't show enough appreciation for all the positive human rights that liberal people have fought for.... I wish I had shown more gratitude for it all than I did. Perhaps this is an element of guilt I've felt. I really hope that the goodness is preserved...
  25. Thank you for your love and concerns. Wishing you the best too. Just try to remain calm and remember that tomorrow will come. That there is beauty all around you.
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