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Everything posted by Kabuto

  1. Can you make some decent cash doing that? How do you find opportunities along that line?
  2. In the state I'm currently in, I think I'd really benefit from doing work from home without interacting with others. It seems to really be what I need to be doing. Anyone have ideas? I've thought of: 1) Illustrations/Graphic Design- Fortunately, I have a strong skill in art- so perhaps I can make this my living 2) Data Entry- Not particularly great but maybe it's something I can be doing? 3) Writing- A fairly solid skill I have 4) Draft Editing- ? Any more ideas>?
  3. Hi all, I submitted my resume, thinking maybe I could do this job. But the guy called me in- and I'm beyond not ready- from the bottom of my heart. Obviously, I got roped in from a family friend, trying to do me a favor. And I find myself wishing she never stuck her head in my business in the first place -_-. I HATE when people do that. Anyway, it's clear I'm not ready for it, and I don't know what to say to back out. What kind of excuse will be viable to not make me look bad in front of my family friend? How can I prevent her from blabbing to my other family members? Of course, there lies the greater problem- when will I be ready to work a job in general? What job can I do that wouldn't make me a total misery? The search continues.
  4. Even most of my therapists don't truly understand me. I've got two who sort of do... I just want help. I've been trying desperately to dig myself out of this situation so I can live a normal life. It's been crazy. What do you guys recommend?
  5. Hey guys, Was thinking about this topic again. The idealistic part of me feels like perhaps I didn't miss the boat on professional music, but the more practical part of me realizes I'm competing with people who've been playing since they were children.... So....yeah. ???? Art is the talent I've been doing since I was a kid- so I suppose that's what I need to focus on? Guess if it's any consulation.... musician's probably have hand pains too and vocalists probably have throat pain (not that I wish that on anyone, simply eases my frustration with 'the grass being greener on the other side' . Still, going on tour seems like the coolest thing ever.
  6. I just gotta move forward is all. To be honest, she was pretty emotionally abusive, just to block me like that, so.... i gotta just keep moving.
  7. Guess so. I am trying to maintain my compassion and not hate humanity. I suppose remembering that there are still good people out there.
  8. Was in a long term relationship, but we had a fight, and she had blocked me on facebook the other day. Now, I feel I have hardly anybody. She was my friend. Now I log on...I feel devoid. No messages from the girl anymore. Just a bunch of random people, whom I have little to no connection to. It sucks. I'm lonely at the moment, and I have met so few people I truly click with.
  9. C might be a little bit of an excuse, I'll admit that. (though still an issue that needs to be addressed- and I actually think it contributes to letter A) B, not so much though. The sleep apnea needs to be managed, and I've really been trying to stick to the CPAP therapy.... I'd love to do surgery if it worked, but the success rate is like 30%, and there could be side effects. For A, I'd love to change, but I feel like I naturally hate cooperating with others...
  10. Hi guys, I have been unable to hold a job due to: A. My Difficulty Cooperating With Others B. My Diagnosed Sleep Apnea C. My Superiority/Inferiority Complex I've seen countless therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, neuropsychologists, neuropsychiatrists all year.... I feel like I've hit a wall thus far. Not sure what else there really is I can do... If anyone has ideas, please holler.
  11. Thank you so much for your compassion and understanding, Epictetus :). You're great.
  12. I just feel so sad right now.... I loved her so much.... I understand this is a 'first world' problem, but it still hurts :(. This might still be salvageable, I'm hoping she starts to see the light, and understand, before it's too late. I can't believe she said she has feelings for an ex that cheated on her. I thought she was better than that. I thought we were like kindred spirits: we have SO MANY of the same interests..... I thought we had a really special bond... I thought we understood each other... It just hurts so much that it makes me want to cry.... I don't understand it... You guys may recall a few years ago, I was posting a lot about a different girl. This new girl was the first one I loved since. But I couldn't believe just how much common ground we have. And yet, she still decided to hurt/betray me :(. I'm hoping she changes heart, but.... at this moment it really stinks. And it makes me reluctant to trust other girls. I'm just hoping that there is a silver lining here- that the universe has a good plan for me. Because I've gone through SO MUCH unnecessary pain, and now I just want things to start looking up and getting better. Not just here, but in general.
  13. I really want to escape the feeling of failure. I'm 26,...wishing I accomplished more with my life. I have a book written- but my 'ADD" has stopped me from messaging agents to try and get a book deal. I am a good artist- but haven't gotten good enough just yet to make a living at it. I've had plenty of time- but I haven't always used it in the best most productive way. I've seen a lot of therapists- but wonder if I've chosen really great ones. I never made a living as a successful YouTuber (I know that's probably harder than I think...so maybe I shouldn't beat myself up for that). How do I escape failure? And how do I work towards a successful future?
  14. Particularly when things 'feel' unfair. When life has felt really bad, I've wanted the whole planet to disappear- so suffering can stop existing. Though i suppose a more reasonable wish would be to wish for suffering to go away- so perhaps a more idealistic planet can exist. But as it stands right now, life has had its moments of being unfair. Circumstances that didn't go as I planned them to. And I suppose, I can either try to roll with these things or choose to wallow in misery. So I will try to roll with things as best as I can, but...sometimes it's been hard. Really really hard. It's felt beyond frustrating. How can I cope? I really wish people can be nicer- I wish life can be better. Though I want to do everything I can do.
  15. I was just thinking of this topic again, as I was illustrating, and I experienced pains today in my hand and neck today. I was thinking, maybe if I was like a singer, that would be a great profession??? Oh, well, I'm 26....maybe too late for that??
  16. Sometimes, making choices is SO HARD. For example, I have two grad school applications I'm considering, but I really doubt that these schools would be what I want. Even still, I would ordinarily put the applications out there anyway, but if I do that, I lose $200. So.. I really hate making hard choices like this :(. Any recommendations?
  17. If I think of supportive women in my life, my family members instantly come to focus. But beyond them, I've had conflict in the past with multiple women I've encountered. Women have emotionally manipulated and hurt me in relationships. Many women have rejected me in the past. And two women took time away from my two best friends in their relationships, friends I've ordinarily spend time with. So I've had a lot of issues. Though intellectually, I already know I cannot blame an entire gender. The friends that neglected me have an equal part, not simply their partners. In fact, there are many men who are not good too...so of course, I can't dislike women. So how do I move past these feelings? Despite having been rejected, abused, etc? I suppose I do know that there are good women out there: really good women out there. So how do I fully realize/embrace that?
  18. So: I don't want to work with another living soul. I want to be able to work in peace, in solitude, largely at the beat of my own drum. But: it's been hard for me to find a job like that. There's computer science/coding, but that seems too technical for me. Then there's working in an office, but that's beyond mundane. There are a lot of raw manual labor jobs, but that's such a miserable existence. So that leaves the agricultural and creative fields.... Fields which are arguably unstable. Why has society made it easy for mega extroverts to adapt, but had made it so difficult for me, a mega introvert? It's been terrible....no matter how hard I've tried... this still hasn't been easy...
  19. For all the sad things that have happened here: all the suffering that has taken place: I wish it could go away and the world can be better. Nothing deserves to suffer. This world deserves to be more pleasurable. I hope this word gets out there and spreads. All we can do is spread that word, and let it echo: echo until everyone hears it. I hope more people can hear this message.
  20. At least I'm not alone. I guess the big thing I have to learn to do is not be so reactionary/not take it personally...as obviously, I can't control the other person.
  21. It's honestly really freaking rude when people don't reply to my brief cordial messages on facebook. Shoot out a freaking reply! Makes me wonder why I keep them on....it's lame to get ignored. HUGE pet peeve. Can't these people show some basic civility and decency? Obviously, I can't control their actions, and simply need to have a zen attitude. But wow, it's not right. And it makes me feel angry for reaching out to them.
  22. Of course, I'm grateful for the opportunity to go to grad school, but... I'm feeling overwhelmed by the application process: which schools are good, which are less desirable, finances, pros/cons, etc. I'm hoping I'm doing all the right things. But sometimes it has felt so overwhelming that I've felt like breaking down in tears....which is crazy to say, coming from me.
  23. Thanks a lot! Appreciate everything, good vibes are shared :) Wish I knew more people in person though...heh.
  24. That's perhaps the hardest part, when your feelings are 100% rational, but people haven't understood me because they haven't experienced personally. Wishing more people could relate right now.
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