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Posts posted by Kabuto

  1. On 4/24/2022 at 2:54 PM, Oscar K said:

    There is never a need to torture yourself.

    You invoked the "dark place" metaphor so my approach is to counteract the metaphorical darkness with metaphorical light.

    Perhaps it is time to declare a temporary truce with yourself with the goal of a permanent peace treaty.

    Invoking a metaphor changes our brain chemistry ever so slightly.

    We all have unlimited access to clever and powerful metaphors or as I like to call them: CLEVERFUL MEDaphors.

    Maybe this can help a little.

    I'll try. I know torturing myself for past events that cannot be undone is counterproductive. I think what saddens me most is that I didn't properly convey my intent. There were so many misunderstandings. It's too late to undo all that now, I suppose. I'd like to be able to reconcile with her some day, but I'm trying to focus other priorities, things more within my control. And other positive aspects to my life. It's been difficult, but I'm trying.

  2. 1 hour ago, KalahariDessert said:

    I would just make a tinder account and put myself out there. It kinda sucks to hear but the best way I've found to stop obsessing over someone it didn't work out with is to put yourself out there until you uhhh find someone new to obsess over. 


    It's draining af going on multiple dates till you find someone you gel with but it's so much better than having someone else living in your head rent-free. 

    I do put myself out there, it's tough to find that match, you know?  Part of the problem is I'm stuck in the house a lot due to my chronic energy issues...



  3. Months and months ago, I dated a girl, who I chose not to pursue at the time because she had an STI (herpes).  She since rejected me and doesn't want to give me another chance.  It's been a long time now, and for some reason I've been beating myself up endlessly for this choice of mine on loop... (sometimes literally). Though ironically, I was trying to protect my sexual health, and one might argue that it was an acceptable decision, I've been beating myself up for this on loop, again and again and again. 

    I've not been able to move past it, despite my efforts in therapy and with medication. 

    I wanted to at least have intimacy with her for a little while, just to know what it'd be like. But now I'll never know....

    I wish I could just forgive myself for this already, and accept my choices/the outcome,  but I'm really having a lot of trouble.  Been in a really dark place over it :(.   Any advice for moving on without torturing myself would be appreciated.




  4. You're all right, thank you. It's painful, but I am starting to get over her.  And thanks @Epictetus for being so supportive to me over the years, you're a kind person.

    When it comes to regret:

    • Did I make the best decision that I could at the moment?
    • Am I discounting any positives that did come out of the decision or event from the past? Am I just focusing only on the negative points today?
    • Did I know ‘then’ what I know ‘now’? Chances are you may have thought over and over about a past situation or decision and as a result may have new insights. However, is it fair to blame yourself today when you did not have these insights in the past?

    As writer Ralph Waldo Emerson says on making each day a masterpiece:

    "Finish every day and be done with it. For manners and for wise living it is a vice to remember. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day for all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the rotten yesterdays."

  5. I dated a girl 6 months ago who had confided in me she had genital herpes.  I was on the fence regarding whether I wanted to take the sexual health risk (even if it were to be minimal with the proper protections)  After a lot of back and forth deliberation at the time I decided not to.  She decided to stop seeing me,  likely for this reason.  

    6 months later I’m still not over her, nor am I over my past decisions.   I feel like I loved her though she seems to have long since moved on. Her birthday just passed and I feel like crying about it. I’d love to change her mind to give me another chance but I attempted to already and that’s likely not going possible.  Tips to move on and not feel depressed over her or that missed “opportunity”?  

  6. I remember I read a blog that listed out jobs for introverts.   I'll be honest, even here I've had trouble.    The creative ones interest me but are also the hardest to break into.   Mowing grass is probably the closest thing you guys mentioned so far that I could tolerate that doesn't require more schooling.

    Kabuto is actually from both Pokemon, and Naruto, but it's also a type of armor apparently!


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  7. Hi all,

    I hope everyone is well.

    Some of you may remember that I've posted numerous threads struggling to maintain a job over the years.   Well, in addition to the sleep issues I've had, I may have discovered another reason: after a neuropsychological exam, it was discovered I was on the spectrum.

    This explains why I've had difficulty performing on the job, especially social ones.   My ideal was to start my own creative business working from home, but I never managed to pull it off yet.

    Working from home still sounds like a good idea, or something where I don't have a lot of human interaction or stressors for people on the spectrum. 

    Does anyone have some thoughts or ideas?   Thanks!


  8. Hi all,

    I'm an artist and as such, I rely on services to make money.   One such service is "Patreon".   Basically, they're a highly useful creator platform.   However, they've recently raised their creator fee from 5% to 8%, for everyone who registers AFTER May 7th.   People who registered before get to keep the 5% rate.    So long story short, I missed the deadline.    And this is highly depressing because that money adds up, as someone who had been struggling financially.    Freaking depressing that I didn't find out about this before, and aggravating that they would make such a change.   Crap like this is depressing as heck. 




  9. Has anyone experienced side effects on anti depressant drugs?   Some effects, like dry mouth or mild nausea may not be as big of a deal, but effects like vision problems or ear ringing are.   How do you avoid these effects with not just Welbutrin, but any antidepressant drug??   

  10. Hi all.

    So,  I hardly have time to socialize.   After working, all I can really do is sleep....I hardly have time or energy to socialize....not that I have a huge amount of friends anyway, but more importantly I dont have the energy for them.   

    Unfortunately, loneliness results.

    How can I manage with this?





  11. Yep, my friends have all pretty much ditched me.   And the ones that remain are so negative, they're oftenttimes toxic to be around.   

    I feel like I've acted like a fool because I've kept contacting a former friend- one who's moved on from me for years and it's clear he doesn't want to speak to me.   So why do I foolishly contact him?

    Yeah, having no friends...kinda sucks.   

    Believe me, I'm grateful for family, and yeah.  




  12. I've been feeling that way, up to this point- pretty much on a daily basis.   Envying those around me who've succeeded in their lives while I haven't.    Yes, I know I still have time.   Yes, I know I'm still young. (27).    But when I see people as young as 18 who have succeeded financially, professionally- it's driven me mad.   Especially when I feel like I've had many opportunities that I've squandered due to foolishness or lack of insight....

    How can I cope?   How can I succeed in the future?


  13. Hi all,

    I've been depressed from experiencing dry eye.

    I'm trying to look into which treatment is best, but the options are pretty vague.

    I know there's BlephEx, Lipiflow, IPL, eyedrops (Restasis/Xiidra) and medication (doxycycline, etc.)

    Wish I had an idea of which treatment will work best for me.    My doctor recommended Lipiflow, but I'm not sure whether she's 100% on the ball.   Tried to see another doctor for a second opinion, who didn't help.

    Any ideas?   (Already trying to go on dry eye forums)



  14.  Hi all,

    I'm trying to get help making big life choices....   

    For example, I've had Dry Eye for quite a few years.    I hear there's a treatment called Lipiflow which I'm highly considering.   My doctor recommends it.

    However, a myriad of thoughts run through my head.    How do I know it's risk-free?    How do I know it's the best option?     I ask on forums I only get so far.   I'm nervous- I don't want to tamper with my eyes.    But i do as long as it will help and not be an issue.   

    I've tried many things - though there are certain medications and drops I haven't tried yet.   Though I'm tired of all the trial and error...



  15. Hi guys,

    I was at work (am able to teach classes supppeerrr part time)- and I made a silly joke to my students.   I meant it in a good natured, tongue in cheek kind of way....   

    I basically got wrapped up in the moment and made a quick joke about how many teenage girls can be quite moody.   I instantly tried retracting my statement and said it was a bad joke, realizing the stupidity that came out of my mouth, not wanting to be misinterpreted as sexist.

    I just want to be more careful with my words.    I'm sure I'll get away with that slip, and I don't think anyone in the class took it 'too' personally, but I really want to be more careful what I say, especially around kids...

  16. Had felt very annoyed with a former best friend of mine.   He neglected me in a time of need- instead choosing to ignore me in favor of other aspects of his life.    I was struggling, and he turned his back on me.   I really can't forgive him for that.   

    It sucks though, because it was a nice friendship at the time while it lasted.   It had hurt to reach out for help and receive nothing.   He's what I like to call a 'fair weather friend'.    

    More annoying yet is that my brother remains friends with this guy.   It's annoying and lame that my brother chooses to do so, but...what are you gonna do.   

    I guess I'm trying to figure out how to fully move on and feel nothing towards him.   While at the same time, making my own situation better.

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