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  1. I just wish I knew I had it earlier, and it's hard not to beat myself up about that.
  2. It's a darn shame I didn't realize this about myself earlier, I perhaps could have prevented a lot of catastrophe. I'm depressed with this OCD and not sure how to treat it. Any suggestions?
  3. I'll try. I know torturing myself for past events that cannot be undone is counterproductive. I think what saddens me most is that I didn't properly convey my intent. There were so many misunderstandings. It's too late to undo all that now, I suppose. I'd like to be able to reconcile with her some day, but I'm trying to focus other priorities, things more within my control. And other positive aspects to my life. It's been difficult, but I'm trying.
  4. I do put myself out there, it's tough to find that match, you know? Part of the problem is I'm stuck in the house a lot due to my chronic energy issues...
  5. Months and months ago, I dated a girl, who I chose not to pursue at the time because she had an STI (herpes). She since rejected me and doesn't want to give me another chance. It's been a long time now, and for some reason I've been beating myself up endlessly for this choice of mine on loop... (sometimes literally). Though ironically, I was trying to protect my sexual health, and one might argue that it was an acceptable decision, I've been beating myself up for this on loop, again and again and again. I've not been able to move past it, despite my efforts in therapy and with medication. I wanted to at least have intimacy with her for a little while, just to know what it'd be like. But now I'll never know.... I wish I could just forgive myself for this already, and accept my choices/the outcome, but I'm really having a lot of trouble. Been in a really dark place over it :(. Any advice for moving on without torturing myself would be appreciated.
  6. You're all right, thank you. It's painful, but I am starting to get over her. And thanks @Epictetus for being so supportive to me over the years, you're a kind person. When it comes to regret: Did I make the best decision that I could at the moment? Am I discounting any positives that did come out of the decision or event from the past? Am I just focusing only on the negative points today? Did I know ‘then’ what I know ‘now’? Chances are you may have thought over and over about a past situation or decision and as a result may have new insights. However, is it fair to blame yourself today when you did not have these insights in the past? As writer Ralph Waldo Emerson says on making each day a masterpiece: "Finish every day and be done with it. For manners and for wise living it is a vice to remember. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day for all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on the rotten yesterdays."
  7. My psychiatrist assures me that it's safe to take, but I'm a little nervous about gaining weight. How does the risk of that compare to other SSRI's?
  8. I dated a girl 6 months ago who had confided in me she had genital herpes. I was on the fence regarding whether I wanted to take the sexual health risk (even if it were to be minimal with the proper protections) After a lot of back and forth deliberation at the time I decided not to. She decided to stop seeing me, likely for this reason. 6 months later I’m still not over her, nor am I over my past decisions. I feel like I loved her though she seems to have long since moved on. Her birthday just passed and I feel like crying about it. I’d love to change her mind to give me another chance but I attempted to already and that’s likely not going possible. Tips to move on and not feel depressed over her or that missed “opportunity”?
  9. As fatigue is the main/only symptom, which could be better to treat that?
  10. I remember I read a blog that listed out jobs for introverts. I'll be honest, even here I've had trouble. The creative ones interest me but are also the hardest to break into. Mowing grass is probably the closest thing you guys mentioned so far that I could tolerate that doesn't require more schooling. Kabuto is actually from both Pokemon, and Naruto, but it's also a type of armor apparently! Actuary , Archivist, Artist, Astronomer, Auditor Biochemist, Blogger, Boat/ferry operator, Bus Driver Cleaner Data Entry Officer Editor Factory worker, Farmhand, Freelance writer Gardener, Geological Engineer, Geneticist, ,Greenhouse tender Landscaper, Librarian/Library Assistant Mail Poster (Postie/Mailman), Mathmetician, Medical Laboratory Technician, Mortician, Musician Pilot Records manager/officer Software Developer, Statistician Truck driver Web Programmer, Writer Zoologist"
  11. Hi all, I hope everyone is well. Some of you may remember that I've posted numerous threads struggling to maintain a job over the years. Well, in addition to the sleep issues I've had, I may have discovered another reason: after a neuropsychological exam, it was discovered I was on the spectrum. This explains why I've had difficulty performing on the job, especially social ones. My ideal was to start my own creative business working from home, but I never managed to pull it off yet. Working from home still sounds like a good idea, or something where I don't have a lot of human interaction or stressors for people on the spectrum. Does anyone have some thoughts or ideas? Thanks!
  12. You raise a fair point. I am grateful these services exist. However, even so, it can be difficult not to be incredibly frustrated with myself that I didn't find out just a few days earlier... (Why do I blame myself?)
  13. Hi all, I'm an artist and as such, I rely on services to make money. One such service is "Patreon". Basically, they're a highly useful creator platform. However, they've recently raised their creator fee from 5% to 8%, for everyone who registers AFTER May 7th. People who registered before get to keep the 5% rate. So long story short, I missed the deadline. And this is highly depressing because that money adds up, as someone who had been struggling financially. Freaking depressing that I didn't find out about this before, and aggravating that they would make such a change. Crap like this is depressing as heck.
  14. Has anyone experienced side effects on anti depressant drugs? Some effects, like dry mouth or mild nausea may not be as big of a deal, but effects like vision problems or ear ringing are. How do you avoid these effects with not just Welbutrin, but any antidepressant drug??
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