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iamnumb

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About iamnumb

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  1. My body is alive, I can breath, my heart is still beating. However my mind and soul simply vanished leaving just a big nothingness behind. I can look normal to others, but behind this front, they don't know that there is nothing. Anhedonia is not something, its the absense of something.
  2. You most likely felt placebo effect. If those supps actually increase dopamine receptors, it wouldnt happen instantly but on long term. Also like many people, you are over simplifying the brain and anhedonia....Anhedonia isnt just about dopamine and its receptor, it is much more complex than that but obviously dopamine has a its role. Dopamine might just be a big player of a very complexe network that has many many players.... Truth is we dont know exactly how this network function. And even worse, for everyone with anhedonia, the malfunction of this network might not even be the same.
  3. Yep same here, when I talk to my doctor it seems like its no big deal to him. Bah feeling emotions, feeling alive, feeling meaning aint so important if you can still function, talk and work right?? Imo whether you can work or not, anhedonia is by far thr worst thing that could happen to someone, its losing your soul, your mind, your identity, everything non physical that makes you, all vanished...Still its no big deal for doctors....my doc told me maybe i should just accept it... Like ***, why the hell I would go see him if my intent was to accept it. Its not acceptable and never will be. The day I will accept it is the day I will **** myself which im not sure I will ever do that...Its weird in a way that anhedonia makes you suffer so much but at same time, you cant be really driven to suicide because your not driven at all. IMO most people that commit suicide are driven mostly by negative emotions which I dont really have honestly..
  4. How long does antidepressant effect last before depression/anhedonia comes back?? How would you compare ketamine to other stuff you tried?(moclobemide, nsi 189, prozac....) is it superior? Did you get emotions back too? Any side effects?
  5. Good luck with ketamine jaiho. How did it go with nsi? It didnt work or you had placebo effect? I am also obssessed with finding a cure and i think it is normal, but too much obssession cant be good. Right now, I am involved in many projects which does gives me things to do and distraction, anhedonia is still there tho. I think at this point I prefer to be distracted and busy then to try to find a cure obssessively and be disappointed again, like always. I do have some temporary escape with kratom which I allow myself to take for a few days every 2 weeks and alcool once in a while. Of course I will always be looking for the permanent ideal solution, if such thing does even exist. But for now, all I can do is distract myself and have a little escape with kratom once in a while....
  6. Pretty much same thing here, exercise does make me feel a bit better but its not true happiness, something is still missing. I will still take that over normal anhedonia....
  7. Aliixa I still can feel very tickly and always been like that even before anhedonia lol For me being tickled is neither pleasurable or painful, just slighly annoying. Ssris will very rarely help anhedonia and most often make it worse. You are right to not take any ssris for anhedonia but it doesnt mean you should completely forget about meds. I will start very soon a trial of nsi-189 which is a very experimental med that a member of this forum had some success with for anhedonia/lack of emotions. I would never touch a ssri for anhedonia, that is just silly, at least for me since i got anhedonia from a ssri.
  8. Dont you guys get bored of video games? I dunno I cant seem to get really interested anymore no matter what the game is, maybe its just not for me anymore cuz i like other stuff.
  9. By the way, doctors have no idea at all of what exactly ssris do to the brain. Yes it increase serotonin in certain part of the brain, but all the cascade of reactions that follows is unknown really, and its definetely different in every people. We cant compare your experience with people that take acid or m@rijuana and then get full blown psychosis triggered. In that case the drug triggered something that was already in them because these drugs tend to amplify what is already going on in your mind. Ssris dont amplify anything, they just screw up people brains. As i said no one is the same. Its pretty sure that most people wont ever get anhedonia from just one week of ssri but you did. I knew a woman that fried her liver by taking a common antibiotic years ago, she will die soon if shes not dead already. She had the one in a million reaction.
  10. Thats cool NAC is helping, ive never tried it really but alqays heard mostly good things about it, it surely wont hurt. I wish I could play video games like before but i just get way too bored now. I used to feel euphoria playing cool video games before and was addicted to it and I dont regret one second I spent playing. But that time is over and honestly if anhedonia was to lift suddenly, I still wouldnt play. I think I would have more important things to do than video games and I wouldnt waste my ability for pleasure on that, maybe im just older now. I do like to play pool and chess tho for distraction, but anhedonia is a true buzz killer.
  11. Was it celexa? Its a popular ssri. I dont think ssris triggered anything that was in you. Its not normal to not be able to orgasm, period. You never had this problem before ssris and probably would never have experienced it. Its true some people wont react like you did but some other will. Its just because we all have different brain chemestry. Its purely revolting a stupid psychiastrist prescribed you a ssri for no valid reason. They are there to make money, not to help people. Good luck trying to explain your situation to a psychiatrist now, they will just look at you really weird and ignore you. What a big joke. Is inability to orgasm your only problem? Can you feel emotions at all? How long youve been on the ssri and how old where you? If you look at paxilprogress, many people got over anhedonia sometimes after months or years off the drug. I am guessing you are now at year 5? Jaiho had anhedonia from ssri and hes having some success with nsi-189, a research chemical. I will get to try it. Its not because you have no cure that you have nothing to offer, your experience, opinions, support and theories are all valuable to everyone. The more we are here, the better it is. And there will be more and more people like you and me because ssris are being given to everyone, everywhere and often for no valid reason. There are always more and more options available to people and im sure one day a lot of people with anhedonia will find relief. The spread of information and this forum is extremely important for that.
  12. Glyx-13 has nothing to do with ketamine. In fact it does the opposite thing. I tried sarcosine which is also a partial nmda agonist, didnt do sh!t. Nmda agonist are not known to have any effects on anhedonia, so far only ketamine does, at least in scientific studies. Nmda agonist may be good for cognition, memory, maybe normal depression and some people had success for the negative symptoms of schizophrenia which can be similar to anhedonia but also not really the same. Never heard of anything about nmda agonist specifically for anhedonia unlike ketamine. Still may be worth a try since it can help few people with schizophrenia, but neither glycine or sarcosine ever helped me, not even one bit.
  13. iamnumb

    Anhedonia

    I can cry even tho I have anhedonia, it doesnt mean anything. I rarely ever cry tho but it can happen. For me depression and anhedonia are 2 different things but they are also connected. Currently I would say my depression is most often mild and sometimes moderate, but the anhedonia is always there. When I used to have stronger depression, I would sometimes cry but the anhedonia was still there, even stronger and I didnt really feel the emotions and it didnt felt relieving to cry at all.
  14. Wow I am always surprised to see new stuff out there I didnt know about, gotta do more research! Sedank and semax sound a lot like nsi 189 which can increase bdnf and growth factor.
  15. Well surely stress is not good for anhedonia. However millions of people get stress and new jobs without ever suffering from anhedonia. It doesnt mean you cant get anhedonia with stress only. It is strange that many people never suffered problems with anhedonia or low libido before taking a ssri and after they did. There are plenty of reports of PSSD and emotional numbness with ssris, sometimes lasting a long time after ssris are discontinued. And then what doctors say about this? Its just depression on another form? Bullsh!t! Lets call things the way they are, it is ssri brain damage(or brain function alteration if you prefer). Whether or not psychiatry recognise it, ssris can do that. Doesnt mean they will do that to everyone either.
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