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About ANicole4

  • Birthday February 14

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    I enjoy being with my friends and family, singing and music, the ocean, vacations, alcohol, dogs,movies, and taking walks.

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  1. I hope you have a fantastic day : )

  2. I have felt this way before too and have told my husband he could leave me if he wants. I obviously don't want that and I know he's there for me and wants to be with me. You should know you deserve to be loved, and you're not flawed because you have depression. Even if he doesn't understand it, you should give him the option to be with you or not. He is with you still because I'm sure you have great qualities for a girlfriend and he knows that. I think he'll try to understand you and you should always reassure him of how much he means to you and you want to be happy with him. Good luck. :)
  3. It's a typical day in the life of depression. You look over at your spouse or significant other, and they appear to be happy, living life without a care in the world. You wonder, "How do they do it?" or "Why can't I feel that way?" I'm not typically jealous of others, and I am happy for my friends, family, my husband, and very glad that they don't seem to feel the way I feel. But sometimes I get jealous that they don't have depression. I actually like who I am, but sometimes want to see what it feels like to be someone who doesn't have depression, like my husband. I've even selfishly wished he could have it for a day and take the pain away from me just so he could see what it's like. Is that wrong? For the longest time, my husband didn't understand that I couldn't just snap out of my depression. He didn't understand that it is a disease like cancer, and it affects the brain which is a very powerful thing. He knew that my father had committed suicide and I told him when he married me, that I have a lot of baggage. I know he loves me and he is seeing what depression does to me on a daily basis and is beginning to understand the horrible things I have gone through and how I feel from it. I know he feels bad, but sometimes I still don't think he gets it. I don't know if anyone else has encountered this with their spouse or significant other. On one hand, I don't blame him because he doesn't have it and he hasn't been exposed to anything like it until now. On the other hand, I do blame him because I don't feel he takes the time to educate himself on depression or tries to really understand what it's like. I have been married to my husband for a total of four years, and we dated for about four years as well. Given, in the beginning of our relationship, I hadn't had the issues I have now. I did make him aware that it was possible and I do feel that it's important for him to understand depression if he really wants to be with me which he says he does. We had moved out of state for his job after college and he traveled for a lot of our marriage in the beginning stages. Nothing was really going right for me where we were living and I was very lonely. His family lived there and I was close to his mom in particular, but she really didn't contact me much. I told him of my unhappiness, and I will say he was very selfish in the beginning stages of our marriage. I feel like I wasted almost 4 years of my life living in a place I hated which contributed to a lot of my depression. It left me feeling very resentful to this day because I felt like I got no support from him-or anyone. We have since salvaged our relationship and we are very much in love, but it's still not perfect. What relationship is? But does anyone ever feel like they aren't getting the proper support and not really know how to make things clear to the person you're with? I am thinking of getting some counseling with him and taking him to a depression support group with me. What have other people done for support from their loved ones? Are you getting the support you need?
  4. I believe that no situation is too small if you are battling depression. I used to feel that way but then I realized not to compare myself to others and their pain as everyone has pain and no one can tell you what is a big or small problem. I joined the forums recently too and I think it's great you took the step and want to get better as I want an outlet to get better too.
  5. I set a lot of goals for myself, and have high ambitions. I feel that accomplishing things help with depression, but it hurts when things don't go the way you intended. You say you want to be the center of attention and you feel bad when you're not. I am a singer and I fully believe in following your dreams, but I also have learned to set short term goals that may be more attainable as I tend to take on too much which normally doesn't work out. I believe you can achieve anything you want. But the way you go about it is important. Maybe you could work on one thing and write what's most important to you to accomplish and focus on that, and know that there is nothing wrong with you if you can't accomplish everything you set out to do.
  6. I feel a little more optimistic today. Sometimes you just need one thing to happen to help you realize life is worth living.

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