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About frozenheart

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  1. Hi Britt. Welcome to the site. I'm sorry to hear what you'be been going through. I have also had sleeping problems due to depression. I'm not sure if this will help but my younger sister takes melatonin supplements and is sleeping a lot better than before. Maybe that will help you too. Perhaps do some reading on it but I'm pretty sure it's safe as our bodies naturally make it. I don't believe a perscription is required either so you could easily pick some up at the drugstore and give it a try. If you end up disliking it there are many other natural things that help with sleep. I hope you find what works for you :)
  2. Thanks everyones. You're right graycoyote on every point. I'm sorry onlinefitnesstrainer & in the shadows. It's so hard when you can't cry & you can't get past the past. I made the mistake of visiting someones facebook page I said I wouldn't because I knew how it would make me feel and I learned my lesson cause it just ripped me apart and made me feel so unlucky.
  3. I am really sorry that all of you are going through such heartbreaking struggles. For me the number one thing is the reminder of what my life used to be. The hollow/empty feeling as some have said. The hopelessness. The inability to cry. Lethargy. Seeing other people living normal happy lives.
  4. I'm so empty. I feel saddness but it's not a normal saddness that you can cry about and feel better after. It's like a splinter that is so deep. I can't even frickin cry. I shed one or two tears when I need to bawl but it's like I can't. My eyes have literally no tears, I get a headache. I'm so friggin lonely and alone and my heart feels like it's not even there. It's like an empty space behind my ribs. I really just wish that I was dead. I'm tired of having to hear the same echoe every day. I'm tired of not being able to cry. I wanna fu***** hurt something because I'm so fed up. It's like where do I go from here? What's next? Will I ever be healed from my mental & physical issues? I'm tormented by my own mind by my memories by my stupid dreams. I loved somebody and I lost them just when they started to get close to me. I miss them so much. They were my only friend my only lover. I don't know. I'm just hating life right now. Anyone else feeling similar? How are you getting by?
  5. I've lost a lot too. A lot of things I cared about & loved. It's hard but I find that when I continue to remind myself of how much I've lost I only feel more empty. I try to tell myself that I still have a lot going for my life. I try to focus on the positive things even though they can be extremely hard to find. I guess it just takes hope to feel a little bit okay. I'm not sure what your situation is or what you're really going through but I'm here if you ever need to talk. I wish I could give you better advice but I myself struggle with what you feel. It helps when you find out what's causing your depression. It's different for everyone but once you find out it can be a little easier to try to fix cause you know what you need to do. I think if you talk to someone about it you might feel a little better. I know I tend to gravitate towards distractions like video games cause I have no one to talk to so maybe it's the same for you? Feel free to message me anytime.
  6. I don't know but sometimes I get schizophrenic thoughts. Like a voice in my head. I really hate it...
  7. Sigh. I know how you feel. It's the worst when you hear people in your life complaining about the most itty bitty things and in your mind you're just like come live in my body. Come spend a day in my mind and then you'll know what it really feels like to be depressed. I'm not saying this about anyone on here but people in my own personal life. I'm alone everyday. Physically & emotionally. It is the worst feeling in the world when you can only shed a tear or two while you're heart is holding an ocean full. All I can say is that the video games don't last. I should know, I play them, and then I feel even more alone and like a loser. I don't know. Maybe try to go outside? Fresh air is really great. You could venture out and discover new parts around your city. Maybe take a walk through nature & just ponder & relax. I will tell you right now that staying couped up in the house only leads to a lonely & withered heart. Let's not even mention what it does to the mind. I say just try to change something. Step by step. Small things at a time or big things, whatever feels comfortable. Trust me doing things over and over and over again will only wear you down till you feel nothing. Best of luck dthed.
  8. Interesting topic madplatter. The idea of the end of the world intrigues me. I don't feel much fear towards it because I don't feel much fear in dying, more like whats after. I think if the world were coming to an end by natural disasters I would feel at peace. Afraid but okay. On the other hand if it was coming to an end by something like war, zombies, or sickness I wouldn't be feeling at peace. I think it would be kinda cool to die watching asteroids fall. It'd kinda be like fireworks... And I love fireworks ^.^
  9. @ candy, I can't say I have a religion as I'm still trying to figure it all out. I believe there is a God and he may just be the God of the bible. So I guess I'm on the fence. I do believe there are malevolent forces out there though even if we can't necessarily see them. Evil comes in many forms.
  10. Hi candy22. Sorry I just had to respond because I saw a story about this on a tv show I think it was called weird or what. The girl described exactly what you're describing. I wish I could find the episode and send you the link cause it sounds like you would relate to this lady a lot! I had negative people around me a few days ago. I went to the store and some girl in the store kept looking at me and I don't like when people just stare and stare and stare (I could tell she was judging me) so I was like glancing at her through the corner of my eye and even making eye contact to let her know "f*$# off" but she kep't staring. I was like wth? Then the cashier gave me a dirty look and then when I was leaving some ugly meth head looking lady walked past me with her pimp or whatever and murmurred something and I caught the last of it and she turned & looked right at me when she finished spitting out her poison thinking I didn't know what her stupid street lingo meant. I don't think people are necessarily out to get you or me but I do think they sense something. Maybe discomfort, anxiety? insecurity? who knows. Or maybe they're just jealous cause on the outside we look good? I like to think of these people as not actually being humans but instead demons because then it's easy for me to brush off. Less hurtful to remember I guess. Easier to give a middle finger to.
  11. Oh onlinefitnesstrainer24, if only you knew how I spent my days haha. I have no friends nor do I have a boyfriend but I don't really care cause the truth is I don't want people around me at least not right now with the emotional state I've been in. It's lonely at times but I've learned to enjoy my own company. Some days are worse than others though and it gets really lonely so I just read or listen to my music. It sucks yea but the more I think about it and make myself long for a companion the more I'll feel like crap. My dog is my bestfriend right now as sad as that sounds. I've had that too, having friends who don't make an effort. I was friends with a girl who only messaged me to hang out when it was convenient for her. I waited for her to step it up because I wanted a friendship that was more than just hitting up the mall or theatres. I wanted sleepovers, camping, theme parks all that cool stuff. She had another best friend though who she did all of that cool stuff with and I started to get jealous so I eventually just said adios and went my own way. By myself but at least I'm not being put second. At least you have one true friend :) Remember it's not the quantity that matters it's the quality.
  12. Hi Sedimented, I don't think you know how many girls would die to have a partner like that. There's nothing wrong with you, I do think there is something wrong with the girls you're getting with though. It seems like a lot of girls prefer to be with a**holes & cheaters. I'm not sure why. Maybe it has something to do with their self esteem but whatever the case, I think you should be happy they didn't stick around. The girl that you want & the girl that is worth it is the girl who will stick around through thick & thin. The girl who doesn't have a problem with you showing/telling your emotions. The girl who would burn down the whole world before she burns down your heart. So please, don't give up hope. I'm not going to tell you that there is someone for everybody and that your princess is waiting in a high tower somewhere but I will tell you that the future is unseen & you never know what might happen. In the meantime try to learn to love yourself & not be so hard on yourself. Also try & let your friends deal with their own problems sometimes. They need to learn to work on their issues themselves instead of being dependant on you because you have a life to live too afterall. I hope you feel better soon.
  13. Grovette, I understand a little. I grew up getting bullied a lot and hated by girls for no reason. A few days ago I went out to the store & just had negative people around me. I think it was because I myself wasn't feeling comfortable and in a good mood, maybe I drew them towards me. Whatever the case was I lightened myself up by just joking that they were walking talking demons just trying to bring me down. It does make you feel a little better to just think of those people who are being rude & hateful as demons cause it's understandable. I mean I think humans were made to be sensitive & loving so anything opposite of that is a demon ^.^ I say F those people who are cold & unkind to you. To anyone. These people are hopeless and they probably envy you for your warmth. I bet they truly dislike themselves inside & they look at you and everyone who is caring and wonder "why the hell can't I be like that?". Your husband & the animals you spend time with are lucky to have you & you are lucky to have them :)
  14. Hi Rich, I think it's good that you think outloud. I talk to myself a lot sometimes about my own problems even because I don't have anyone around to talk to. I know if someone heard me they would think I was crazy but that's what being lonely does to you haha. It's a good way to vent and get out all your feelings when nobody else asks which happens a lot for me and I'm sure other people on here as well. I'm here because well, I'm lonely obviously that's the major thing. I don't wanna feel alone with my depression so I joined. It's kind of like I feel it's nice to get on and write something and maybe help others and just know that my thoughts aren't going unnoticed. That I'm not just a loser who still lives with her parents as society would claim. That I'm just a person who has problems and they affect me in ways others can't see. Big ways. I don't know, it's just nice to have a place to turn to I guess.
  15. I know how that feels although for me I'm finding it more to be the silence I'm tired of. The lack of those little things to do & the lack of desire to do them. My days are really empty as well as my emotions. The only emotions I really feel are hate, an odd saddness, it's like loneliness mixed with the death of hope. I don't wanna cry cause i can't anyways it just feels like my mind & my spirit are in a dark cell. The only way for me to not feel like this is to listen to my music & just ignore all my unhappy thoughts which are basically all of them so I'm left with the feeling of nothingness. I hope you can find some change in your life allalone6. Maybe find some way to break free and do something rare & exciting.
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