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Iris_16

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Iris_16 last won the day on November 22 2013

Iris_16 had the most liked content!

About Iris_16

  • Rank
    Advanced Member
  • Birthday 03/16/1991

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Italy
  • Interests
    Reading, writing, playing the piano, movies, Ireland, Iceland, Vikings, psychology blah blah

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  1. I was having a new year spring clean of my messages today and I saw some of our old messages from a few years ago and they brought a nostalgic smile to my face :hugs:I have no idea where you are now or even if you will see this but I hope life is treating you well and you have found success and happiness :smile:

    Regards,

    Hocico

  2. I've been feeling like a human being again these past weeks, that is, hanging out, having fun, doing loots of stuff, and then, boom, yesterday I was awfully depressed again. But I must admit that, despite it all, therapy is keeping me whole and up, which means that I can overcome relapses faster. Anyway. I wish everyone a good day <3
  3. The past week hasn't been bad at all! As for today, I basically spent the whole day lying in bed, I cannot stand this hot a weather, ughh. Whoever says Italy is a pretty country should come here now and endure this awful muggy weather. Oh and lying in bed didn't do me any good, since I have a bit of pent-up anxiety that's kind of making me feel like I'm out of my mind. Tomorrow I'm gonna keep myself as busy as possible!
  4. As for dropping out of university, it's not really the case, but I'm a year late in earning my degree, that is, I should've handed my BA paper in last year and I still have to do that. Now what pi**es me off, is seeing all these ignorant people that never liked university with their hats on and their degree in hands, posting their pictures on facebook. As many here, I've always been very, very smart, and very fast in learning. But alas, my mind got in the way and here I am, struggling even when reading a tiny page about the most interesting subject.
  5. Oh, I do know that feeling. People that are overly anxious tend always to think about "later", later it's gonna be worse, later I'm gonna have a panic attack, tonight I'm gonna feel depressed... stuff like that. It's just the way anxious people are. I don't have any good advice myself, as I'm still trying to learn this "hic et nunc" stuff my therapist keeps telling me, but people here really had wise words themselves. Like "happiness is temporary, bad days are temporary too". I like that, I might just write it down and stick it to the wall in front of my bed.
  6. Drained and tired after a loong day at uni. But reading about people that are happy makes me happy too. Therapy is helping me a great deal, I will never thanki my psychiatrist enough, she's great. Of course, I'm still anxious over a possible relapse, but my mind is not in such a bad place.
  7. Had quite a good week because my therapist "assigned" me something to do and I performed it quite well, so I'm proud of myself. Even though I was scared I made a big change. Hope it stays like this!
  8. I have that book too *-* bought it in a second-hand store in Gent if I recall correctly. Still have to read it though, is it good so far?
  9. Been feeling quite anxious these past two weeks, but good overall. Tonight I feel a bit depressed, and I suspect my period is coming to **** my hormones up a bit. Ugggh
  10. I am totally quoting that. I'm not gonna do a list of all the people that bullied me or the reason why they bullied me, and I'm not gonna deny the fact that at the same time I've always had a supportive mum backing me up. But I've had my share of bulls*** to deal with my entire life, and that didn't make me depressed. The bullying and the problems didn't make me depressed. Depression made me depressed, and of that I'm sure.
  11. Black Dahlia, by James Ellroy. Loving it so far!
  12. Glad to read something from you, learningtolive. I'm struggling as well these days, so reading your hopeful post made me feel a little better. Keep us updated on how things are going!
  13. Of course, each and everyone of us has their pains to go through. Anxiety is awful. As for coping, I take meds, do therapy, have my mum's continued support. These days are unbearably awful, but I'm trying to move forward. There are a few parts in your statement that don't tell the whole story, though. While everything you said is accurate, some people are just s*** out of luck. What happens if you're constantly being abused.....like constantly be surrounded by people with serious issues, or constantly around people that gang up and act passive-agressively to you, or constantly being intolerated because you've been delt a bad hand and they don't want to see your forced smile? As much as I want to blame it all on the individual, the truth is that hopelessness is not always a state of mind....sometimes it's the actual reality. Whenever I read about these types of articles, reasons pointed out as to why victims stay with their abusers is many times due to financial dependency. Basically, they are forced to keep taking the abuse or end up without a roof over their head. Same goes for anyone would was ever forced to s*ck d*ck to pay the bills. So when you stuck in places that are negative enough on a regular basis, your vision of humanity pretty much deteriorates. In your head, you feel like this is the only way humans are capable of behaving towards me. So you start believing that humanity sucks, and you don't want to be a part of humanity anymore. So although that description of depression is accurate, these facts about hopelessness make those ideas in their heads more real than fake. I am quoting Mr Shadow here. Hopelessness is a thing, but depression is an issue of the brain. I think that what we're discussing here is more our own personal views on the world than depression itself. I see the world as a bright, wonderful place. Maybe because I've always met wonderful people that kept giving me continued support. I believe that the world is full of amazing people capable of amazing things. That doesn't mean I haven't had my fair share of bullying and abuse. But many, many people are still wonderful to me. But guess what? I'm still depressed. That doesn't change. That's why I'm saying that depression brings nothing good. One can still have a disillusioned view of the world and still not be depressed. But as for me, that has always seen this world we live in as an incomparable beauty, depression does nothing but stain and poison that view with its false black judgement.
  14. Yesterday was a good day. Today I feel very agitated and anxious, maybe because I had a restless sleep. Took some diazepam and I hope I'll feel calmer in a bit.
  15. Thank you! Still suffering. Stumbling and falling, one step forward, two steps back, the usual. I've relapsed lately after having been doing pretty well the past weeks - and I blame it on the hormonal imbalance and possible PCOS. But it's exactly as you say. I'm unfortunately very much acquainted with that kind of depression, the blackest pit a human should never come to experience. I'm glad you have never experienced it, and I wish you to never come to.
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