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About CoffeeAddict103

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    Junior Member

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    Reading, music, Philosophy, spirituality, art. Different people, things and animals.

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  1. Agitated and unmotivated. I'm going to commit myself to stop smoking altogether (including exotic tobacco) I'm going to use this weekend as a detox method. I need to make positive changes now. I'm running out of time.
  2. Was raised with no faith but I suppose I would be Protestant if I was born 100 years ago. My dad is an atheist but when I was about 11 I started going to church and my dad even went with me and was very supportive. I eventually stopped, and don't really believe but I've got a lot of respect for Christianity. What ive noticed the last 10 years it seems to be the in thing to mock Christianity. I personally don't think any religion should be exempt from critism but I find it irritating when people are trying to be edgy by mocking Christianity, because actually it's become socially acceptable to do so, certainly in my country England.
  3. Feeling useless again. Bemused by how easily my mood changes because of the actions or lack of by other people. It's like an endless cycle of bitterness and self hatred. Going to try and switch off for the night and hope tomorrow is a better day.
  4. It certainly is better than hurting. I do find whenever I'm in a routine daily my mental health is better for it keeping myself motivated and having the energy is another story. I didn't mean to sound condescending by the way when I said "people avoiding problems" that wasn't aimed at you. I think distraction is the key and its an option I too often have avoided. Even getting out of the house, changing my surroundings, or helping my mum with chores around the house.
  5. Definitely need to start exercises again think we are all meant to be physically active in one way or other. I'm the same whenever I go through an episode of depression anxiety/panic/health anxiety nearly always coincides in one way or other. It seems to be a feature of it at least for a lot of people. @Soarsie18 it is Sunday which is the worst day for me even when I'm not in a depressed state (which is rare these days) I don't know if it's monday blues or what. What you said about keeping busy is spot on and I think even though that can be someone avoiding their issues, its better than getting yourself worked up on things that can seem drastically worse than they really are. Luckily I've been out all day with my friend so I haven't had too much time on my hands. I've written a plan and structure for this week to keep myself busy and plan on sticking to it.
  6. Thought id enjoy the weekend alone but it's Saturday and it's just dawned on me how alone I am. Most of my old friends have got kids and are married and naturally people move on. I am no better than when I was 16 in fact I had money then, I had a job, I had a future to look forwards to. But then It dawns on me I have no one but myself to blame, because you have to go for opportunities in this world, and I do nothing. The plan was to have a few beers tonight in front of a film but I woke up this morning feeling like I've been hit by a truck and have continued to feel the same way all day. My glands in my neck are swollen and have been for months which concerns me. Today they are particularly bad. My joints ache bad and I'm struggling to walk up the stairs. I am convinced of rhematoid arthritis but doctors cannot find out on my blood work. I've always been a hypocondriac but my lifestyle sucks. I feel like an old man.
  7. Lovely day today Ive tried to spend most of outside in the sun too. :( good that you got some sea air 👍Must be hard to take with your operation. I have been dealing with a lot of nostalgic memories myself lately , I have family down in Wales near porthcawl used to love going down the beach there as a kid. Unfortunately the only beach near me is the river Thames 😂
  8. Just got back from a walk grandad driving me and my brother home some impatient prat behind bibbing brought me some intense anger. So many idiots on the road!
  9. Feeling useless. Mid 20s have no idea what I want, I dont want anything I have no ambition, no dedication. I would like to do a "course" but I don't even know if I'm interested in anything. i need a job. This is the longest I've been unemployed for and its not good. I'm guess I'm lucky to have a roof over my head. need to pull my socks up, I hate being like this!
  10. Feel better nearly 12 at night here. My anger and agitation scares me sometimes feels like I'm going psychotic at times. It almost felt like I wanted to saw my own arm off or hurt myself out of anger. I've never felt this unstable before. I have smashed my own property I smashed my phone to pieces the other day like a spoilt child. I feel normal now. I feel calm. I have given up hope on going to the Drs now. I am on a mental health waiting list been waiting for 6 months I phoned them last week and still waiting. If I go to the surgery they try and give me pills. The only drug I've ever had success with was citalopram. I was last on an ssrni and it made me worse made me angry. Sorry for my rant I'm off to try and sleep 😩 Peace and love peeps
  11. I can relate to that feeling. The passing of time disgusts me. personally for me it's because I feel like Ive wasted mine. I'm mid 20s unemployed but I'm locked in the past.
  12. I feel like my brain is dead. I have no drive. I feel like I died around 18 Ive been going through the motions since.
  13. Bit better today. I went out for my birthday last week and stupidly took a substance, its ko'd me in terms of making me feel very low again. Silly boy i dont want to go near that stuff ever again.. Also not eating and chain smoking. I want to quit, i need to regain my health. I'm a scrawny mess of a man at the moment.
  14. No job, no girlfrirnd, no future, no prospects, no skills, no experience. Constantly letting people down. I'm a terrible person
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