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About bunnygil

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  • Birthday 09/22/1992

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  1. Happy birthday :)

  2. Thank you for all the suggestions - I'll see about going to the counseling services on campus, and then getting a full-time job when I graduate so I can move out right away. It's good to know that what they're trying to tell me isn't necessarily accurate. And thank you for the perspective, FrannieO. I only have one semester to go - I graduate this December - but it seems like a long semester ahead of me.
  3. I'm still in college but nearly 21 and you'd think my parents would listen to me by now. Starting to think I may be depressed, which is why I'm here in the first place. More days than not my mood will start to sink, especially in the evening, and there's really nothing I or anyone else can do to stop that. I truly feel that I don't matter to anyone, that I'm not wanted or needed. I feel so isolated all the time and discouraged by the fact that none of my so-called friends bother to try and keep in touch with me or invite me to anything at all. And I'm too scared to talk to new people for anyone else to be interested in making friends with me. My future too is something that makes me feel terrible on a regular basis. I know I'll get a good job eventually, as I have good grades and several solid internships. But I'm sure I'll have to work hard and over-stress myself all my life just so I can have enough money to get by, and I won't even have the time or the money to do anything I really want to do. I'm scared I'm condemned to life just dragging myself through a job I hate and there will be nothing I can do about it. I've tried talking to both parents about my concerns. Every time I try, the answer I get is: "That's life, get used to it." Or, "You can't make friends unless you go talk to people. You can do it. Get over it. It's not that hard." The funny thing is, mom used to have depression herself. But just over the past year, she's starting to tell me, "It's all in your head. You can be happy if you just choose to be. It's easy." I was shocked the first time I heard her say it. Of all people, I thought she'd understand. I've asked her about getting some sort of help in talking to a therapist or something. She's told me she doesn't think I need it, but that she'll set something up anyway, since I am still under her plan. But it's never happened and this was three months ago now. I get the feeling that neither of them really believe me. I also feel that they think it's my own fault and that it can just be wished away. If I could just wish the bad feelings away, I would - believe me. I would have done so a million times over. But I can't. And it doesn't help that my father nit-picks at everything I do, cursing at me for accidentally leaving a dish on the counter but barely giving me a congrats when I come home with straight A's after a tough semester. It makes me feel as though nothing I do is good enough. That's why I'm here. Am I really depressed, and is there any way I can get what I really feel through their heads, or are they just a hopeless lost cause?