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Everything posted by Dolphin2013

  1. Feeling under pressure and have low-level pervasive anxiety regarding my life in general. I wish it was a normal day and not the eve of Thanksgiving. We are having people over tomorrow and they're the best people in the world, but I used to be a lot more social and now I'm not. what's wrong with me? I know this too will pass.
  2. Thanks :) The day was very productive for me. I caught up in writing and took care of my own needs for a change. Thanks for the good wishes. We'll see what his doctors say.
  3. That does sound both challenging and exciting! Kudos on setting this up for yourself!
  4. Having some stomach issues, but that has gotten me back to low carb eating after a few days of going off-plan. I feel so much better physically and mentally when I avoid flour and sugar. Not so much avoid them as keep them out of my diet. I have to remember to drink more water, though. We've had a couple of cool beautiful days and a couple of humid, warmer, drizzly days here. November. I have low level anxiety that feels like a dark cloud or fog in my heart and head. My husband's lung problems may improve only with surgery. But the surgery is not always a guarantee. In this anxiety-fog, I let myself go. Today, am going to exercise and then go to a write-in to catch up on word count. Hopefully that will help. I think, breath and oxygen will help my brain. After exercise, I'm going to get a flu shot. May or may not be helpful this year. But I work with the public, on shared computer stations. Half of the staff (I'm exaggerating) has been sick this past week.
  5. I got to over 25k words in my NaNoWriMo novel and after a brief foray into unsatisfying eat-anything-I-want for a few days, went back to low-carbing. I'm going to the gym in about half an hour.
  6. I understand completely. I owe a bunch of money on a credit card that I pay back little by little. Since that card is still used for some expenses, I may never pay it entirely. My spouse hates debt, though and I haven't told him the whole amount I owe. It's a lot. When we got married, shortly after that, I had to start paying back my student loans--which landed us in big trouble with money. We didn't have a credit card, but my inability to find steady work at the time really put pressure on the marriage. We barely got by. That whole year tainted our entire relationship.
  7. my husband playing something I don't recognize, on his guitar.
  8. I hear you! I have had no time to work on my novel and not much time yesterday. So I am falling behind. Our son was at our house this evening and what could have been a quick dinner turned into a lengthy visit. ARRRRRRRGH!!!! and thanks so much @CoolCat7 for your answer to my complaint about lack of funds for my old age. I figure I'll get by somehow.
  9. Yeah--we never took her seriously and answered back "Ya wanna meet the little five?"
  10. My mom, when she was sort of angry with us would say, making a fist, "Wanna meet the big five?" I don't know if she got that from the Three Stooges or the Marx Brothers.
  11. Am panicking because I'm getting older and I never made much money in my working years because either I was a student or a parent and wondering how even the pittance I will get from social security will help me. My husband is not in the best of health and me, I think I should just pack it in and he could collect the insurance do some good with it. And it's not that I really want to pack it in (euphemistically), it's just that poverty does not make living comfortable. It's as if when you're poor, you don't deserve decent health care and places to live, here in the States. I just see myself old and homeless in the future. I'm not talking about riches and the Taj Mahal here...just decency. I think my dire vision is a result of my migraine on Wednesday and subsequent lack of sleep (which could lead to another migraine if I don't get more sleep) over the next few days. Early-early shift at work = not enough sleep. I'm usually more optimistic. Or maybe it's my meds. :(
  12. Hi @Poisoniivy Wow, you are experiencing such stressful isolation. You have my sympathy and I'm hoping you can take steps to get help. First of all, congratulations on visiting here. Lots of us have been in similar positions. And all of us here have experienced some level of isolation. Maybe reach out to friends and family back home, but more important is to start seeing a counselor. As a military spouse, there should be some help for you. If you want the marriage to work, he will have to go to counseling too, but if he doesn't, go without him. Welcome to the DF and keep visiting!
  13. Feel like I'm slowly getting back to the land of the living. In time for an emotional meltdown, my brain did what it does best and wakes me up at 5am, saying, "You've got a migraine!' So have done nothing today but sleep and run to the toilet in so much head pain, thinking is useless. Sipping herbal tea with sugar right now.
  14. my obsession with MyOldFlame is hitting another peak, since one of my NaNoWriMo characters is based on him. I'm trying to rework that character so he's not the same exact person. Trying not to see his face before me when I write. But tomorrow is an anniversary of when things started with him. And I'm dreading dealing with it. And this is a hill of beans, small potatoes (I'm hungry and off carbs). I can be like a goddess and wipe him out in my novel. So many of us here are truly suffering. Hugs from me, although I probably smell funny. Haven't showered in...3 days. I'll shower tomorrow and envision washing him out of me...
  15. {{{{{{{ @Teddy545}}}}}} Sometimes it's whatever you can do, even if it's just setting an alarm to wake you up in time for an appointment. Today I couldn't face taking a shower. But I have to go to work. Minimum: wash face and put on deodorant/antipersperant. Then I can face customers. Oh well.
  16. I'm in your corner! Maybe if you make small versions of the big changes, it won't seem so daunting. {{{{{{{ @salparadise6132}}}}}}}
  17. Not stupid. Don't be so hard on yourself. {{{{{{{ @Lady Mozzer}}}}}}}
  18. Hey it's 2017 and let's bring this thread back up!!! I'm somewhere at 6k right now and just plugging along although I'm bored by what I'm writing tonight!
  19. Here's a link to the forum topic. I actually started it. It was shortly after I joined the DF and started my meds...
  20. Yay! Good for you @HeatherG!!!! There used to be a NaNoWriMo thread somewhere on the DF. One of the charming aspects of NaNoWriMo is that I just write and hardly edit and sometimes hardly make sense when I'm writing. I want that word count by the end of the month so I can get that little winner sticker! It's a good way to get yourself writing. Write anything to start and keep writing. If you go on the NaNo website, they have a word prompt section and other tricks to get you moving. I have a bunch of prompts on slips of paper and I'll pull one out at random if I need to. Believe it or not, the writing will come if you start with something--even something cliched like "It was a dark and stormy night..." all the best to you and to @CoolCat7 I'm going to go look for the thread...
  21. Hugs to all who need or want them. I started my story for National Novel Writing Month and it's more difficult than I realized it would be, but I'm pushing myself to write and just do it (the goal is to write a novel of 50k words in the 30 days of November). I've done it before and I'll do it again. My son is taking low dose Effexor. Found a p-doc for him and have tips on a therapist who will take Medicare. Have a lot of decisions to make. Mostly about my own health care. Why do I feel that I don't deserve health and strength and to go to the doctor when I need to? Get my knees and back pain sorted out. I've been focusing a lot of attention on my husband and son, both of whom I love so much. I need to love myself enough and I just.don't. It's like I'm an impatient mother telling me that I need to be quiet and stop fidgeting. Just be quiet. Be quiet is sick.
  22. I slept 7.5 hours which is perfect for me. I woke up not dreading the day ahead.
  23. Right now I'm going to throw all the remaining halloween candy out. It's nothing but pure high-fructose corn syrup with other flavors and it sucks the life out of a person. Today, I didn't go to exercise class. Instead, after my work shift, I walked and ran and walked and ran and stretched and oh my god I felt wonderful, but then got into the candy and now everything sucks. The problem is, I want my problems fixed right now. The other problem is, I don't know how to treat myself as if I deserve medical care, clothes--time to visit friends. So I stuff myself with candy and other bad sugar stuff. ugh ugh ugh.
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