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Scholar

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  1. Need More Posts (Chat now requires that I have more posts?)
  2. I've started taking Escitalopram last week and it's absolutely messing me up. I heard it takes time for your body to adjust to SSRIs but I don't think I can last until that happens because I feel to drugged even on half dose. It does not help that the semester's just about to end, with finals coming up. Is this normal with SSRIs?
  3. I think this feeling of being stuck is more common than we might expect. Life, unfortunately, as I have realized isn't that simple. I more or less thought that there is most likely a solution to our problems every time they pop up. That we are, ultimately, in control of our lives. That we can always choose the best decision. I still think that, but unfortunately, humans (or at least I am) aren't the most efficient creatures that I thought them to be. Choosing the next most rational decision isn't always easy. You feel like your job is dull, and generally, you feel bad doing it every day? Resign, and start working on something you can stomach. Yep, sounds totally 'simple'. But people will cling to their s***ty jobs because it's within their comfort zone, because, at the very least it feeds them right? Turning your life around, ISN'T that simple. I think people cling to the status quo, because we don't have to deal with the anxiety that comes with making major changes in life. So yeah, all these ramblings aside, this being 'stuck' business is a familiar thing.
  4. I'm going to have to skip classes today too, but doing so makes me feel really uncomfortable, even though I'm pretty much self studying most of the time. I'm planning to go to the doctor today once and for all. I hope I can finally get rid of this. This is hell. I don't know about taking a bath, I used to shower before going to sleep and it didn't help at all. Listening to music sometimes work, but it usually just makes my mind race more. Damn, I don't know how I'm going to survive graduate school like this. I'm behind the lectures, and thinking about the coming exams won't make me sleep.
  5. The title says it all. I don't exactly know if I'm allowed to post this here, since I'm not exactly sure if it's depression related. I have read that sleep problems and mental illnesses go hand in hand though. I'm a fresh graduate student (in Mathematics, if that helps), and I'm recently under a lot of pressure to perform well in my studies. That said, I tried to plan each day so I can study and do as much homework as I can. This sounds nice, but the problem kicks in when I try to hit the hay, I close my eyes, then bam, I can't sleep. All sorts of things go through my head from mathematics, to my personal problems, and whatnot. The most annoying thing is that, when I am aware that I really have to sleep, because I have everything planned for an important day tomorrow, the more I cannot sleep. For example, during fridays or saturdays, I can sleep relatively well which isn't the case during sundays where I want to get up earlier. I think it's some sort of anxiety. To make matters worse, I have occasional depressive episodes (I am not diagnosed though), but it also seems to surface when I am extremely sleep deprived (like right now), and sometimes I end up with suicidal thought, it's driving me crazy. I know I should have sought medical attention long ago, but has anybody ever dealt with this?
  6. Horrible. Too horrible that I've decided to post in a thread like this. I don't know when was the last time I participated in a thread like this in a forum. This is quite nostalgic.
  7. Well, I never liked the idea of studying to work myself in a cubicle 8 hours a day for money so that I can support a family. Right now I'm studying because I wanted to. I'm now a graduate student. If there's any meaning or purpose to my life, I think that it is studying. But that doesn't make it any easier because I tend to place high expectations to myself, and when I fall short, I get disappointed at myself. During these times I consider giving up, the bad thing is that, giving up or quitting is pretty much synonymous to offing myself. I mean, if I don't reach my goals, there's pretty much no reason for me to live. Sorry if I'm just all over, I haven't been able to sleep today and I can't organize my thoughts.
  8. It's back. The holidays aren't helping. I was thinking that I could get a decent amount of studying done during the break, when I' m just at home. Damn, this is too tiring (which is funny since I'm not really doing anything). I've had rougher semesters before, but now, the problem is entirely on me, and not the course work.
  9. Ah, never had that kind of problem. I always did things in my own pace I guess. I studied whatever piqued my interest, my parents didn't say anything when I changed majors, the lecturers in my university are lax with me, probably because they see me as a 'diligent' student. Still ended up with (I suspect) mental issues though. Anyway, I never really thought about getting in the silly bandwagon myself, it doesn't suit me.
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