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lisbethsal

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  1. I struggle with this as well, and still haven't figured out how to think positive yet, or find my "joy"
  2. Many of us can relate, that's why we are here. me, I can't seem to handle day to day stress well. I mean I can, but past failures haunt me and I spend hours ruminating which keeps me stuck.
  3. That is a good point . I never thought of it as a control issue. My husband and dad- I couldn't or can't control that. But this test- I prepared for it, studied hard and felt I should be able to control the outcome. I just don't know how to deal with the results of they are not good. Never was good at failure. I mean sure , I always expect to fail. But being that pessimistic doesn't make me able to handle the bad outcome regardless.
  4. Me, I would be excited to go to my next board game and see if I see her then. If not, ok. She doesn't want to talk to me, ok. But at least I went out there and was social- if I stick with it, who knows, I may get lucky !
  5. I am a married woman now, but made the mistake of dating right after a long term relationship ended. I was able to "string him along" to meet my needs, but wasn't as Into him as much as I was Into comfort, security and knowing someone wanted me. but men, I've found, need physical intimacy more so than women some times. not sure if she has had the procedure yet (maybe she is hormonal) but it may be good to end it, and end it on your terms. That it has nothing to do with the pregnancy. That you will stand by whatever she chooses in that regard. But as a man, you need something that she can't give you, which is a healthy sexual relationship. You aren't looking for a cuddle buddy or friends, you want a girlfriend that loves and wants you back. I understand it's hard to leave because she seems comparable enough as friends, tries to maintain your interest by flirting and "acting" like a girlfriend, but it's for show. She may want the other guy back, which is why she posts on social media about you two. She may have mutual friends still with the ex and wants to "show him " what he lost even though she is not winning in this game- no one is. she may cry and be upset , but you need to let her know- I am not the other guy and never will be, and because I love you I will set you free to find that person you need. But I also need to love myself, and this relationship- while some parts were good- is not meeting my needs and causes me more heartache stress and energy just to keep you, when you don't want to be kept in a romantic relationship with me. And it will hurt losing you, but being with someone who doesn't want you hurts more. dont listen to the excuses; let her know you understand breaking up with the other guy was hard. But jumping into a relationship with me is not allowing you to sufficiently move on. And until you do, dear, I can't do this anymore. If we were married sure/ but I'm in my 20s same as you, and we both deserve healthy loving relationships. thats my take.
  6. I cried during Wall-E but I was extremely hormonal at the time - but crying is good sometimes.
  7. I've lived with family members like these. I was the "weird one" "too sensitive" and it felt like I was the living embodiment of all of their problems. My parents were narcissistic, emotional abusive alcoholics who have since passed away. My siblings are no better. Their problem- is dysfunction. They believe they are "hiding" it better than you are, and because you stay at home mostly, you are a target. dont be a target. you are doing the right thing by not self medicating with drugs or alcohol. I give you a lot of respect and credit for that. what sort of helped for me back then was to go out and stay out. I worked two jobs and went home strictly for sleep. Their focus on outward appearances is their way of pushing you to their type of "normal". Your weight, etc. if you journal, you can come up with answers to their needless harassment. "You are too fat." Response- Mitazapine does cause some weight gain. You know this. But I am not worried, so you shouldn't be." "Why don't you go out?" "I am not interested in drink and drugs at the moment, and the friends I have aren't either. You know alcohol abuse is the leading cause of death in the UK?" "Why don't you XYZ" " It appears you are very concerned about me, but it feels intrusive. I am going to uni soon and working now. I think I will be just fine" or deflect. "Why are you-" "How are you doing dad? You seem tired. Everything ok?" so: staying busy away from the house writing down responses to their badgering abstaining from drink and drugs and lastly, prepare for uni. Class schedules. Packing. Dorm situation. Know everything before you go. lastly remember there may be some jealousy. You are leaving. Moving. Studying a major that's extremely interesting. You are proving that situations can and do change, and they are afraid to change. Keeping you down and stuck like they feel makes them less panicked and afraid. Possibly. you got this, we are rooting for you.
  8. I think many of us do, and not sure how.. So much easier when it's on the telly, you know?
  9. My mother took her own life 2008 but she was an alcoholic , and a narcisissist at that, no history of depression. Therapy- I wish I had done that instead of self medicating.
  10. I took a liscencing exam last month. Not my first time taking it. The results are online but I can't access it, waiting for the mail. However the the anxiety of failure and having to take this AGAIN is causing sleepless nights, tears, panic attacks- I want to know but I don't know how to relax or cope with failure. My father passed away two weeks ago and I'm looking for jobs which adds to my fear, and paralyzing anxiety. My husband is somewhat supportive but he didn't know how to help. He's also in early recovery and can't really deal with me right now. how do I cope? What can I do? I feel like such a loser and failure and thought of ----
  11. ask the mods for the password for the substance abuse forum... probably better advice than you can get here..
  12. Ive never done DBT but the opposite action thing is interesting. What exactly is it?
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