idkusername465

I just don't want to be alive anymore

I feel like I only have a handful of dreams every month or so. I very rarely ever have dreams. I find people interesting who say they dream daily!

I'm stuck in a unproductive cycle and I don't know how to break out

I can definitely relate. I've been waiting for something to happen for the past 10 years. In the meantime I've been slowing wasting away.

No I'm not back in school. Not much else has been going on lately. My life is pretty much the same

My day was going well... and then suddenly it wasn't. It's crazy how your mood can shift so quickly.

My day wasn't very productive

Welcome back JD. Although, I always hesitate to welcome people back to the forums because it means something in their life isn't going as well as it should. I'm glad to hear you're doing better, even if you don't feel like you are. That's one of the weird things about life, things change, toss & turn and its hard to really know what to make of it. The fact that you said you were going to keep going is a really big sign in my opinion. It means you have a certain degree of hope for the future. Which is very important with depression. A lot of the people on this site from a few years ago don't seem to be here anymore. For various reasons. Like most things in life time has a way of drifting people apart. People seem to post here less and less. Its actually kinda sad. I feel like this site is slowly dying. I'm not entirely sure what happened to the chat room but I think it got taken down because it requires money to maintain and the site is running low on funds. I could be wrong on that so someone feel free to correct me. But even back in its heyday the chatroom would only be used by about 20 people which for a website with thousands of members isn't that much.

I've had a lot of neck stiffness lately

For me personally it was one of the few medications that actually helped with my depression. So I would say give it a try and see if it works. Just make sure your constantlly monitoring your health for any side effects.

How are things going for you lately?

I work in an office scanning and indexing documents all day. It's boring but boring is good.

Yea I've been up and down myself. I just recently started a new job so I'm trying to adjust to that.

Hey Duck! It's good to hear from you! I hope you are doing well!

Hey APFSDS! I remember I use to call you the man of many letters because of your username lol. I haven't talked to you in a while. How have you been?

I'm glad to hear you're doing well on abilify!

What kind of games are you into? I mostly play on playstation.

Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. What kind of games were you into?

I've always wondered what it would be like to meet up with the people here. In theory, we should have a lot to talk about but you never know until you actually get there. Honestly, I think I would be too nervous to go lol Is scheduling meetups against the TOS? And even if we were to schedule a meetup, there's tons of logistical issues with covid, safety (in terms of meeting strangers), and choosing a location where the most people could get to.

I'm feeling kinda tired

That's so damn cold! Does it normally get that cold where you live? That's insane!

Good luck with your new job hopefully everything goes well!

Have you tried taking melatonin? It's a natural hormone produced by your body that helps control your sleep wake cycle. They have it as an over the counter medication you can pick up at any cvs, walgreens, rite aide, or similar type store. I've been using for a while now and seems to work pretty well. Of course, always do your research before trying any kind of medication, but I think you should look into it.

My back hurts a little after work today but besides that I'm fine. A cute girl sat next to me today at work during break time and I didn't say a word. I just didn't know what to say. Does anybody have any advice on how to approach her next time? I've never spoken to her before so I don't know where to start. I hope everyone is having at least an ok day

Feeling hopeless