owlleef

I don't have much I can offer on this situation but I hope what I do know might help a little. From what I've noticed fame tends to happen to people who are good at their craft/job or something that happens kind of randomly. Like, there's a need, or a niche and the person that comes along gets the attention for it. I also don't have much life experience but if you really want to succeed at that dream you have to make sure you're putting steps towards it. Like if you want to be a famous artist, you practice everyday, take lessons, promote yourself etc. So what you have to judge is how severe your depression is and how attainable your goal is in depression/while being depressed. For me, I have been told I would have been famous at something were it not for my depression. Unfortunately, I cannot alter the past and the decisions I make now create my future. You just have to try your best and if you're not super famous then you have to be ok with the fact that you did the best you could do. Please be easy on yourself. It also helps to take stuff one step at a time. I tend to believe fame usually goes to those who put a lot of effort and work into a subject and it will come naturally if you are good or exceptional, but maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Are there other fields that could use your imagination and creativity? Or is this the only dream you have? I tend to see dreaming of future possibilities (while having depression) as a balancing act - what I can do, I can do; what I can't, I can't. etc. All I know is to try my best and see what works out.

Reading this I hear a lot of frustration in your writing. I know how incredibly hard it is to not have the emotional support of family members. You would think your closest relatives would have your best interests at heart and support you to become independent and do your thing but sadly there are some family members that won't, or can't, or whatever is going on (don't want you to be independent) and they just won't be there. The thing you have to remember is that it's never to late to start your own life. Just because you are 28 and living with some unsupportive family members doesn't mean your life is over. Basically, you are going to have to "Mac-Guyver" yourself out of your situation. Take a look at what resources/skills you do have and try to build something with it. You're already motivated to get a job - which is fantastic. Even if it takes a while it's worth checking into your state's "workforce" agencies - these are organizations that are set up to help find you a job. You could also look for jobs on the side too, just keep making forward steps. Just cause you might miss one interview doesn't mean it's all over! Even if it's a tiny step, like leaving the house more, making new friends etc. it will help build confidence and you may make some connections. See what local resources are available in your state for jobs and transportation. There's state organizations that will help you find a job and maybe transportation if you're willing to do the work. Even going down the street and talking to local businesses asking if they need help could be an option. :) If you decide to go to the shelter it might help to be honest with them (explain your situation and that you can't get there). It may be a good thing (or maybe not) but you won't know until you try. You just have to try. And not give up. Spend as much time as you can trying to build a life outside of your negative family members. Think of negativity (especially when you are depressed) like Superman's kryptonite....he's not going to be too super around it. That's how toxic behaviors/people can be sometimes and it's best to try and build self-esteem/self-respect away from that environment if possible. Sometimes when things get difficult I'll make a "pros/cons" list for whatever it is I'm considering. One side is pro-reasons, the other side is con-reasons. If the pros add up and are more than the cons side ....well it's probably a good idea to consider whatever it is (like moving out/leaving home or applying for another job). It's a good exercise and always helps me. Best of luck!

Two things that have helped motivate me to take a shower: *Find a REALLY nice smelling soap/shampoo and try it out in the shower (like the best smelling one you can find) *Have something to look forward to that you "have" to take a shower for....(like going to a movie, going somewhere to eat, visiting someone etc.) Maybe having a little routine with nice smelling lotions or something afterwards can be the teaser to take a shower. I know that when I finally take one after feeling grungy I feel like a million bucks. I think it's all about making showering something to look forward to and get excited about. Best of luck. edit: Saw Op's post :) That's awesome that you listen to music! Makes it a good, fun and positive experience. Yep.

Dealt with episodic depression from constant emotional abuse from my mother as a child. At age 12 I got sexually assaulted and that's when I started developing frequent depression. I also think genes play a part in acquiring this illness.