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AloneGuy

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  1. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in ejc's "What are you watching right now?" Thread, Part 3   
    Can't sleep again, and watching Key & Peele sketches on YouTube.  
  2. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Kinda ragged from getting only about 3 hours of sleep last night.  I need to reset tonight.  It's just hard to sleep well on hot summer nights.  Can't wait for fall... it's not too far away.
  3. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from anon22ae in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Kinda ragged from getting only about 3 hours of sleep last night.  I need to reset tonight.  It's just hard to sleep well on hot summer nights.  Can't wait for fall... it's not too far away.
  4. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from anon22ae in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Not terrible.  Kinda numb though.  I'm trying very hard not to care what other people think about me.  It's a frustrating problem I've had for most of my life.  I mean really, who cares right?  Just gotta live.
  5. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to anon22ae in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I'm sort of amazed by the randomness. I've been looking for places to live and realizing that the simplest things, like a nice sunset or a greenish treeline in the back, make or break the decision to buy a place.
    It's very bizarre: Random, spur of the moment decisions effect everything. Like the butterfly effect.
    I wonder how much of this will be read once I'm no more. If the Internet preserves everything, I guess I'm lost in time... like tears in rain. Time to die? I hope God gives me a bit of freedom in the end, though. If.
  6. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Epictetus in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Been trending towards a full blown depression but thank goodness I seem to be bouncing back now. 
    One bad thing about depression is that if you have had it once, it is always in the back of your mind that you can fall into the pit again, especially if you were hospitalized.
    Hugs to everyone here:  members and readers who are not members!
  7. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Bellerose2 in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    I’ve had a really great weekend. I experienced things I longed for and things didn’t even realize I’ve needed. 
     
    I feel like I’m riding a fulfillment high! This evening my anxiety started creeping in a bit. It was easier to set it aside and be present. I know this feeling won’t last forever so I’m trying to milk it. 
     
    Ps: My previous account was bellerose. I sadly had to create a new one, so here I am as bellerose2 🙂
  8. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in I remember when . . .   
    I remember when I was very young our house's family room had brown shag carpeting, lol
  9. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Depressedgurl007 in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    Hey everyone, so I won't be posting about this topic on the forums anymore (maybe my old blog).  I realize that faith is very important to many members on DF and helps them with recovery.  Some things I say might be hurtful to them, and I really don't want to hurt anyone.  
  10. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in ejc's "What are you watching right now?" Thread, Part 3   
    South Park on Comedy Central.
  11. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Extremebeginner in Treatment-Resistant Depression ..   
    Kratom is number 1 among the natural supplements in my opinion.  By far and it's not even close.  As far as meds go there isn't a cure for severe depression yet but hopefully there will be one in a few generations.  Would be great wouldn't it? 
  12. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Abandonedalways in Creativity When Depressed #3   
    Broken but not forgotten. 
    This life I know is rotten. 
    But one thing I know to be true. 
    I give my heart to each and every one of you. 
     
    *hugs*
  13. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to womanofthelight in Creativity When Depressed #3   
    Ghost Story
    I am the ghost that haunts the valley where the five rivers meet
    and the trees are young.  I’m told there is fire behind my eyes
    but it dies like torches dipped in southern waves
    or from its own heat, burned, dried up and blown away.
    I am haunted by pain and so I haunt.
    Einstein says energy can change in form.
    I may turn to dust here in the valley of rivers
    dreaming of cool water and a thicket of old trees
    where I would lie drowsing on the soft ground
    untouched by loss of you, of God, of the path
    I left behind.
    I take ghost steps in circles
    up and down the hills searching for courage
    and the life I wanted but did not make
    and may have to mourn as I do you, dear.
    Think of it: we could be incorporeal
    together; freed from earth and
    its material mischief.
    Instead, I challenge this of you and of God:
    If I asked you to haunt me, would you do it?
     
  14. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Nightjar in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Man, if showering before my foot fiasco was like climbing Everest, now it's like launching myself to the moon 😬 Anyway, least I got it done.
    Next is clothes washing. Hope I can manage narc mom's interference better this time..
    Also gonna do some yoga and experiment a little bit with my foot, see what I can do with it now even though I have no freaking idea if I should or not. Maybe just a tiny bit of wiggling and stuff 😬
     
  15. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to sober4life in A-Z: Baby Names Game #4   
    Who
    I asked the owl and she said that's what she named here baby.🤔
  16. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Nightjar in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Not terrible.  Kinda numb though.  I'm trying very hard not to care what other people think about me.  It's a frustrating problem I've had for most of my life.  I mean really, who cares right?  Just gotta live.
  17. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Epictetus in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Not terrible.  Kinda numb though.  I'm trying very hard not to care what other people think about me.  It's a frustrating problem I've had for most of my life.  I mean really, who cares right?  Just gotta live.
  18. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in How do You Feel Right Now? #12   
    Not terrible.  Kinda numb though.  I'm trying very hard not to care what other people think about me.  It's a frustrating problem I've had for most of my life.  I mean really, who cares right?  Just gotta live.
  19. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Epictetus in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    You're most welcome.  My father belonged to a Christian religion that believed people were basically bad but my mother belonged to a Christian religion that believed that people were basically good. 
    An interesting thing I discovered in my study of Buddhism is that Buddhist sects surprisingly mirror Christian sects.  There are Buddhists who believe Buddhism is a psychology, others who believe it is a philosophy and still others, the majority that believe it is a religion.  Some Buddhist sects are quite pessimistic while others are quite hopeful.  Even sects of Buddhism have sub-branches.  Both Mahayana and Hinayana Buddhism have their sects.  Some sects believe that it you merely believe in the Buddha, you will be saved.  There is even one sect that believes that just saying the name "Buddha" is salvic.
    I have found comparative religion to be a very interesting subject. 
    What do you know about the Baha'i religion?  If so, do you find it interesting?
  20. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from sober4life in Lindsay's "3 Words Of The Moment" Thread, Part 3   
    Coffee
    And
    Cream
  21. Thanks
    AloneGuy reacted to Epictetus in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    I've noticed in my studies of comparative religion that often people who are adherents of a religion, though holding to many of the same ideas and values, will "prioritize" them differently.   Thus the various forms of Buddhism, Islam and such.
    I believe this happens in Christianity too. 
    People who call themselves Christians can each want to do justice to what they believe is most important to God which is itself an admirable thing.  They want to prioritize things as they believe God has prioritized them.
    I grew up with parents and relatives who belonged to different Christian denominations.  Though they shared similar beliefs, they prioritized them differently. 
    One of my parents had a very hopeful form of Christianity.   He believed that some other forms had lost the sense that what Jesus taught was "Good News" and "glad tidings."  So this affected how he viewed the "threat discourses" of Jesus.
    In the Old Testament, God makes threats but sometimes "changes His mind" and does not carry out the threat.  So this parent of mine believed that the threat discourses of Jesus fell into the tradition of the Old Testament Prophets.
    The point of the threat was to wake someone up but not to predict the future.  So he viewed the "hell" discourses in this light.  The prophets in the Old Testament were not like other ancient prophets.  They were not fortune tellers. 
    They announced a possible future in order to change people in the present. 
    The idea was not to foretell a future written in stone but to wake people up like when a physician tells a smoker:  "If you don't stop smoking, you could ruin your health or shorten your lifespan." 
    The point is not about fortune telling.  It is about concern in the present for a person's health.
    Perhaps the threat discourses of Jesus are along these lines.
    But this parent of mine believed that ultimately God desires the salvation of all people and that nothing is impossible to God.  So he had a very hopeful form of Christianity.
    Another relative of mine held to a very dark form of Christianity such that the Good News was basically Bad News, at least for most of humanity.
    I have a very hopeful view of Christianity which prioritizes the idea that God is Love, that He desires the salvation of all people and that with Him nothing is impossible.
    So for me, the deepest "heart" of Christianity is found when Jesus was on the Cross and  prayed "Father forgive them for they don't know what they are doing", prayed for those causing him agonizing and excruciating pain. 
    One ancient Roman historian wrote about crucifixions. 
    He told of how criminals being crucified uttered hateful words towards everyone, vile curses, blasphemies, threats of revenge and cruelty. 
    But Jesus didn't say anything hateful on the Cross.  He did not even curse the thief who taunted and insulted him.  And after the resurrection when he saw Peter again, he did not scold Peter for disowning him.  He wasn't even really harsh to Thomas who disbelieved.
    Jesus not only preached love of enemies but He loved His enemies while they were torturing and taking his life. 
    Even some hard headed philosophers have wondered  if a human being must be more than a human being to do that. 
    So I actually love Jesus although I could certainly love him more.
    Now I can certainly understand that many people will think I am a heretic, or a fool, or an idiot or a bad person. 
    I know there are people of other religions who might even want to do me physical harm.  I know there are agnostics and atheists and anti-theists who would probably prefer that people like me not exist.
    Since I went through a period of agnosticism, atheism and actual anti-theism, I know how that feels.  As an anti-theist I had all the arguments memorized, I had the thoughts and the feelings on a very visceral level.  So they are not exactly foreign to me.
    As a logician, I know It is easy to derive conclusions with certainly in short logical arguments where the axioms, premises, and statements are close together like a=a thus 2+2=4. 
    In complex situations where there are many premises and many propositions and many and long chains of argument, it is not always easy for people to arrive at the same conclusions. 
    People don't always agree on what is self-evident and axiomatic or which propositions are true and false. 
    And even people who might agree on a set of true propositions might not agree on how to prioritize those:  which are more important?  Which are less important?
    Sometimes Christians could be happier in their Christianity than they are.  I think this is true of all religions and philosophies. 
    Since I worked in a university philosophy department, I worked with people with very different and very opposed viewpoints and beliefs. 
    This did not stop us from having coffee and donuts together in the morning.  It didn't stop us from being kind and civil to each other and even caring deeply about each other. 
    I rode the elevator each day with an anti-theist or at least on most days.  He was a very nice man. 
    One of my best friends in the philosophy department was a Buddhist woman. I felt a kind of bond with a Marxist philosopher and when he died of cancer I cried. 
    Many people want to find the truth and hold fast to it.  That itself is a hopeful thing.
    Being a logician makes one a bit of an odd person.  In my field I often find arguments that undermine the very ground they stand on. 
    For example, people who say that truth does not exist and yet hold that that statement is true.  Or people who say that everything is impermanent and yet the law that everything is impermanent is permanent.
    I once was in a debate with someone who maintained that human beings are just beings driven by selfish genes.  People held whatever opinions they held because of their selfish genes and therefore there was no such thing as objective truth. 
    At the same time, this same person maintained the the proposition:  "all humans are driven by selfish genes" was an absolutely objective truth.  So to me he seemed to undermine his philosophy by sneaking truth in through the back door so to speak.
    My debate partner said he renounced all Judeo/Christian values.  But then he quickly added:  "But of course I try to be an honest man, a good father and neighbor.  I do charity work and so on."
    So it seemed to me that perhaps he had not really renounced the values he said he had renounced. 
    And I could not really understand how if we are unfree and totally determined by our selfish genes, how could  one group of people, geneticists, still be free and capable of objectivity?
    Of course I could be wrong about all this.  I have often been wrong about things in my long life.  There are so many impediments to objectivity, o hard to reduce one's prejudices and biases to objectivity.  I try to maintain intellectual  humility but it can be so difficult.
    I do not know what will be the ultimate outcome of your search, AloneGuy.   Although I am not in your shoes and do not want to trespass on the uniqueness of your experience, I think that perhaps in a little way I know what it is like to have family members who do not support one in one's beliefs.
    I think it is good that you question things.  That to me is a virtue.  I also think it is admirable that you love the truth.  That to me is also a great virtue.  There is greatness in you and I think good things will come from you wherever you finally end up in your life journey! 
    You are certainly an inspiration to me and I think you will be an inspiration to members here and those who follow these Forums.  Best wishes!
  22. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to Oscar K in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    If you're not confused and not feeling empty then you're not paying attention.
    We are all metaphorically EMPTY.
    The trick is to not WALLOW in the HOLLOW.
    We are not helpless confronting all our mental issues.
    I'm not a fan of religion but I'm not smart enough to be an atheist.
    I can pretend God exists along with many other things in this crazy mixed up world.
    Hang in there. 
  23. Like
    AloneGuy reacted to watalife in Lindsay's "3 Words Of The Moment" Thread, Part 3   
    Cats
    And
    Rats
  24. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Epictetus in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with me @sober4life, @Depressedgurl007, and @Epictetus.  There are still some issues I'm struggling with since leaving the church.  I feel an emptiness now.  Like an emptiness in my "soul", I guess would be the best way to describe it.  I also just miss having something outside of myself to believe in.  I could never believe in dogmatic religion again, not with what I now know,  but I've always believed in the supernatural .  When I was a kid whenever I looked up at the sky I believed there just might be spirits, or gods in the clouds.  Ghosts, angels, spirits, demons... I've believed in them most of my adult life.  Now I don't even know if there's anything at all.  This is all new and confusing to me.  
    Anyway, thanks again for sharing with me.  I really appreciate it.
     
     
     
     

  25. Like
    AloneGuy got a reaction from Epictetus in Lost my Faith once and for all   
    Oh, and I'll be coming back to reply to your posts individually as I think about what you said.  My brain is slow today 🙂
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