zenzang

is there a way you can do a chargeback if you paid by debit or credit card?

Trigger warning... I'm all over the place. My mind isn't settled. I have a drive to finish some projects thast can improve my life situation but I am sinking into a disinterested territory. I lost my very 1st child over the holidays in my 1st trimester. I really wanted that baby. For more than a decade, I've been waiting. And now baby is gone as suddenly as it came. I am older so i worry my chances again are quickly coming to an end.

i dont know the backstory of your situation however i admire your tenacity to keep going until you get what you need done!

i got out of the house and feel better. i still have some nagging thoughts about some situations. i will take this step by step so the feelings wont overload me so quickly. writing is therapeutic for me, especially in spaces where others understand what you're going through.

I haven't felt this depth of sorrow in years. I lpearned not to think too much but today got me. I was feeling sick from some food so i've been in the bed most of the day. I want to be out and with people I love but they are far away or have passed. I cant leave too far as my funds are low and im kicked out of my account until i get a new card. Thanks for reading. It helps to know i am not alone in this and the feeling will past. I will try to go somewhere outside of my bed to help my mental state.

alone. unstimulated. few friends. i'm missing a big portion of the social aspect of life. the few so called friends haven't texted me in months and that was the last time i've seen some of them. others it has been a year. if i don't reach out, i rarely hear anything from them. that's not friendship in my eyes. i've been at home and it hit me hard today that i have nothing to do and no one to do things with.

a warm bed a shower to clean myself help to get medical insurance & treatment -- got it in the nick of time

sadness. having health issues and it's mostly rare chronic conditions that have little to no medically available treatment to stop it. 😞

in physical pain and not sure if it's just bottled low lying stress i can no longer detect consciously or actual physical pain.

i'm crying but the release of tears brings a bit of relief. stretched by others demands for my time and i'm not reciprocated the same. overwhelmed by different illnesses for months and wondering when i'll feel normal again. lonely during the holidays.

I think individuals deal with depression differently. Gender doesn't dictate how someone will respond to depression. Generalizations never account for the individual. If using a gender generalization, then I take on stereotypical male behavior pattern more than the woman I am.

racing thoughts. would love to have a conversation in real life just to connect with someone besides my own inner feelings and thoughts.

highly irritable from the presence of other people and their inconsiderate noisemaking

move away from people

I exercised.

mind on the future, living in the present 😞

Enter a soundproof chamber for peace. Go to a cabin near a creek and enjoy nature.

I never heard of that type of Pebbles. I'll have to look for them next time at the grocery store. It sounds good!

Reese's Puffs are the devil. lol I betcha cant eat just 3 bowls. I demolish a box in 2 days. It's banned from my pantry til I can control myself. lol

i have the house to myself. many years ago i cherished solitude. these days i cannot stand it. i am lonely. i want to do things with someone i care about and who equally cares about me, no strings attached or expectations. im still in bed. it hurts to feel the way i do for so many years. i dont see any change anytime soon. i've lost that naive hope.

worried to pieces. an upcoming review may factor if i keep my job or not.

wasted money on some food that turned out bad 😕

I'm worried beyond belief about possibly losing my job. I haven't been able to improve in some areas of my work as expected. Partially because the requirements change often and the training provided doesn't reflect the much harder field work scenarios. I don't have enough savings to last more than a month if I'm let go. Unemployment isn't available. No retirement plan to cash out. :( I hope I can pull through and turn things around soon.

Nausea is kicking in with this medicine. I can't wait to be off of it for an infection. I'm generally grumpy too. I'm slowly working towards the things I want. It's been set back with the infection which is fine. I'm mostly grumpy cause I'm lonely.

soo hungry!!