zenzang

alone. unstimulated. few friends. i'm missing a big portion of the social aspect of life. the few so called friends haven't texted me in months and that was the last time i've seen some of them. others it has been a year. if i don't reach out, i rarely hear anything from them. that's not friendship in my eyes. i've been at home and it hit me hard today that i have nothing to do and no one to do things with.

a warm bed a shower to clean myself help to get medical insurance & treatment -- got it in the nick of time

sadness. having health issues and it's mostly rare chronic conditions that have little to no medically available treatment to stop it. 😞

in physical pain and not sure if it's just bottled low lying stress i can no longer detect consciously or actual physical pain.

i'm crying but the release of tears brings a bit of relief. stretched by others demands for my time and i'm not reciprocated the same. overwhelmed by different illnesses for months and wondering when i'll feel normal again. lonely during the holidays.

I think individuals deal with depression differently. Gender doesn't dictate how someone will respond to depression. Generalizations never account for the individual. If using a gender generalization, then I take on stereotypical male behavior pattern more than the woman I am.

racing thoughts. would love to have a conversation in real life just to connect with someone besides my own inner feelings and thoughts.

highly irritable from the presence of other people and their inconsiderate noisemaking

move away from people

I exercised.

mind on the future, living in the present 😞

Enter a soundproof chamber for peace. Go to a cabin near a creek and enjoy nature.

I never heard of that type of Pebbles. I'll have to look for them next time at the grocery store. It sounds good!

Reese's Puffs are the devil. lol I betcha cant eat just 3 bowls. I demolish a box in 2 days. It's banned from my pantry til I can control myself. lol

i have the house to myself. many years ago i cherished solitude. these days i cannot stand it. i am lonely. i want to do things with someone i care about and who equally cares about me, no strings attached or expectations. im still in bed. it hurts to feel the way i do for so many years. i dont see any change anytime soon. i've lost that naive hope.