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aloneandunhappy's Achievements


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  1. Wow, thank you all for posting. You made me see this in a different light. Much appreciated.
  2. I agree. Stay out of the corporate world and maybe something where there is minimal contact if that is something that bothers you. Maybe working with animals - they give unconditional love! Is there anything you can think of where you would feel productive yet not agitated? I don't enjoy the corporate sector. I've been I it for 30!years. So much red tape, phoniness, a$$ kissing and getting ahead only because of who you know and not because of your accomplishments. I wish you the best
  3. i saw this on FB today and thought it was very telling and true (at least for me): The unhappy person resents it when you try to cheer her up, because that means she has to stop dwelling on herself and start paying attention to the universe. Unhappiness is the ultimate form of self-indulgence. When you're unhappy, you get to pay a lot of attention to yourself. You get to take yourself oh so very seriously.
  4. I cannot thank you enough StanF23. I feel so much better after reading your post.
  5. threatening me with being in contempt of our divorce agreement.
  6. You are 100% right. He knows he is engaging feelings of guilt in me. There is one vague sentence in our divorce agreement (15 years old now) where it states we are both responsible for our son's college education. My ex husband states that he cannot afford tuition either but we are "obligated" to send our son to college. Says who? My parents didn't feel obligated to send me to college. They couldn't. I didn't expect them to with six kids. My ex husband's parents didn't feel obligated to send him to college either. If my ex husband says he can't afford it and I can't afford it either then my question is why must we incur tons of debt? If my ex feels obligated/wants to take on debt, then let him. He has collateral for a loan. I do not. I'm still paying medical bills for cancer treatment. He also tells me our son shouldn't have to pay for my "poor choices" (my most recent husband divorcing me when I was diagnosed with cancer in 2011, my not saving/having any money to send our son to college, my not owning a home). II will not be bullied into doing what my son's father wants. And yes, he is a real a**********. If I were his current wife, I would beat him over the head for shaking down his ex-wife with cancer for money. I've paid child support for 15 years without missing a payment. I don't feel I'm "obligated" to do anything further. If I can, great, but to tell me I have an obligation??? Grrrrrrrr........
  7. I can relate to tending to ruminate on things. That's my concern - am I doing myself more harm than good by ruminating on negative events in my life? It seems like it's just a place to complain, a giant pity, poor me, victim book. How do I journal positively to elicit change in my life?
  8. I struggle with getting out of bed more than anything else. The thought of each day ahead is terrifying to me. I have a very hard time getting to work on time. Once I am there things are better. I set my alarm for 5 am and hit snooze until 7:30, get up, don't shower or eat and leave the house 15 mins later looking like I've just rolled out of bed because i have. No makeup, hair in a ponytail, often wear the same clothes over and over just because i can't bear to get out of bed. It causes huge panic for me. No way to live.
  9. Hi Rasta Thank you for sharing your story. I'm sorry for your struggles. There is a lot of support here. A lot of caring people. You are not alone. It is ok to ask for help.
  10. I was in the same boat and told my boss. Well I was fired but not specifically for this. They managed to tie it to underperforming. I would tread with caution. Good luck and let us know how it goes.
  11. Thinking of you today. Your life is not pointless. I am glad you ripped up your note and called the Samaritans. Please do not give up.
  12. It's not my son who doesn't understand it is his father I am having problems with. My son gets it completely.
  13. j02 - I am sorry for the invasion of your privacy. My mother always went through my things until I moved out at age 23. I hated her for it. Still do. She would open my mail too and constantly barge into the bathroom if the door was closed. I was a kid who never caused any trouble, never got into an trouble, straight A student, never tried drugs. She was just sick. I choose not to have any relationship with her for this and many other reasons.
  14. My ex husband and his wife completely shut me out of my 17 year old son's life. Although we have joint custody and I pay child support (long story) I don't get to see my son a lot. Mostly because he is very busy with school, studying, working these days so that is ok. When he was younger his father and step mother would not include me in any thing. the only time I heard from them is when they needed more money than the child support. Well this morning i received an email demanding thousands of dollars for my son's college tuition. I explained that if they had involved me from the planning stages perhaps I could have started saving and that the 3 of us should have had a discussion on what we could afford and how it would be paid for, but for them to just all of a sudden tell me I have to pony up $xxxx is completely out of line. He says they never included me in any of the discussions because it would have "muddied the waters". To boot, I am in treatment for cancer, recently got divorced, I have no assets or collateral (home/car) I can take a loan against for my son's tuition. I work two jobs and I'm living paycheck to paycheck to survive. His email has made me feel like absolute crap about myself, which was exactly his goal. He is threatening to take me to court which I'm not too scared of because I know you can't get blood from a stone, but it is worrying nonethelesss. I've been in bed all day crying. Please help. Anyone with a response to make me feel like I am not a loser.
  15. I've been writing my thoughts in a journal for about a year now but honestly I don't know if it's helping. I feel like it's just reliving a lot of misery writing this stuff down. when I go back and look at what I wrote it's very depressing. Just wondering if others keep a journal and if it helps them, what are you doing differently?
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