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  1. I have been on selegine (emsam patch) for a few months now. Does seem to help a bit with motivation and functionability, but doesnt help anhedonia. I My doctor yesterday decided to add mirtzapinine along with the selegine. I am a little scared because some people on here have had bad things to say about mirtazipine and also I am afraid of the weight gain/increased appetitite issue. But I do remember seeing one post on here of someone saying mirtzapinine brought the color back to their life, so maybe there is some hope with it. I know everyones different so I dont want to take too much stock in a bad review as well as a good one. I will let you know how it goes.
  2. I wonder how many of us, pre anhedonia, were the type of people who could find enjoyment with the smallest of things. The kind of people that didnt need a lot to be content. I remember learning in a high school psych class that the type of people who sky dive, ride fast motorcycles, and do other high thrill things, have a higher level of dopamine, and people who don't really care for the high thrill, have lower levels of dopamine.
  3. Avasada, thank you that was actually really helpful and good advice. Thanks
  4. Hi. How do you distinguish between thoughts that are your own, and thoughts that are due to depression? Have had depression for 1.5 years, mainly anhedonia, which obviously sucks the meaning out of everything. How do I know which of my thoughts are due to that and which are real? Thanks
  5. what are the guidelines in coming off an MAOI (selegine). How do you taper, are there bad side effects? My patch fell off the other night, so I just waited till the morning to put a new one on. It was harder than usual to get out of bed that morning, but also my physical anxiety symptoms were less in that morning. Thinking about asking to come off as its been 2 months and I havent had improvement in anhedonia.
  6. I came up with a pretty good metaphor to describe one of the symptoms of depression. Let me know if you think it is accurate in your experiences. For someone with depression, their brain is sort of trapped. They can't let in or out emotions, can't connect with their surroundings, and have a hard time finding meaning in anything. But, at the same time, people with depression tend to complain about their mind going a million miles an hour, and never resting, and wearing them down even further. My theory is this. For a regular person, their thoughts and ideas can leave their brain and latch on to something. They can take a break somewhere and put them on the back burner. It is more of a free flowing experience, with thoughts flowing in and thoughts flowing out, responding to the stimuli around them. For someone with depression, those thoughts cannot escape their brain. It is like one of those lottery machines with the ping pong balls being bounced around in them. It wears a person out. Like for me, all day long I have a ton of different ideas, tons of things I want to do, but my thoughts and ideas get stuck, and everything is like pushing through the mud. I usually give up on an idea because it can't latch on to anything, because I cant find meaning in it due to the anhedonia. Just thought Id share the metaphor.
  7. Ive been on emsam selegine patch for almost 2 months now. 6 mg for 4 weeks and 9 mg since that point. I havent noticed the slightest thing, not even a single side effect. Its strange you would think with such a powerful drug you would atleast feel something different, even if it was a negative change.
  8. jaiho, how did you get a hold of that medication? When will it be out? Thanks
  9. I have some of those symptoms too. Ive always had asthma and allergies, but I found my breathing has been worse since the anhedonia. I also have chest and back acne which I never have had before in my life. Also IBS symptoms like soft stool. I got my gut checked out for inflammaton, bacteria, etc, and all was fine. I also tried gluten/diary free for a good 4 months. Didnt help. I finally bought into my doctors theory that depression reaks havoc on your body and IBS symptoms are very common and that it is a by product of the depression not other way around. The chest/back acne Im not sure of, I think it may be because I did a trial run of testosterone replacement therapy (which didnt help). But Im not sure. Basically depression just messes up your entire body, what a terrible disease! And the pain is magnified because its not like you can do something you enjoy to take your mind off it, because well, you cant feel enjoyment. Ive found that the mind set I need to be in, which Ive been in lately is, every day is going to be a physical and mental battle. Dont think about tomorrow, just focus on each day and realize that its going to be painful. Id like to think that after suffering all this pain, something is bound to change for us in the future, but who knows.
  10. Dichotomy. The way you describe your physical pain is very similar to me. Alot of creakiness and joint pain and weak feeling. I was recently tested for lime disease, results arent back yet. But my crp test came back fine and that is the test for general inflammation. My doctor told me depression causes physical pain like symptoms because it flips pain receptors all over the body and makes them more exposed or something like that.
  11. I was trying to ask if the bad news you got was that you or a loved one was sick?
  12. Did you find out you were sick? If so, Im sorry and wish you a recovery.
  13. Can you feel joy, experience emotions and love your loved ones? Just asking so I can give advice from there.
  14. sc2, I think it is part normal and part depression. I think for any mentally health individual, major life stressors can throw them into a funk. I see it happen with a lot of people I know especially before an important exam or stressful time of life. Now, knowing you have a predisposition to depression, I bet your experience is a little worse than a normal person. I think the stress is causing a minor flare up, but I think you will be fine once the defense is over and you see that you in fact did a good job. Just try to put it in perspective and put your mental health above any achievement, job etc. Cut yourself some slack, that is a pretty major thing, getting a Phd, and many people would be struggling in your situation right now. Good luck!
  15. Hi all. I have a question. I have been in whats diagnosed as a major depressive episode for over a year. To sum it up I will say I am very anhedonic, and emotionally numb, along with lack of energy and fatigue/sleep problems. My question is this. I've noticed that recently I've been more regretful of decisions in my past and think about woulda coulda shouldas a lot now. Is that something depression does to a person? Sure, everyone has regrets, but usually you sort of move past it and go forward. My theory is that for a normal person, you have things in your life you look forward to and are happy about, so that sort of out weighs the doubts. But for someone who cant feel joy, you dont really have anything to hold onto, so its alot easier to look back since you have nothing to look forward to at the moment. Does that make sense? Anyways, I was wondering if anyone else has had a similar experience, where depression leads them to look at the past with regret more often than when they are not depressed. Thanks
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