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Justin421

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Everything posted by Justin421

  1. Welcome to the community from a fellow newcomer. Don't let anyone make you believe that it's "all in your head". You wouldn't tell a blind person it's "all in your eyes" would you? Depression is a real illness and should be treated as such. If these people are important in your life you may want to suggest to them to learn more about depression before they say such hurtful things. I do not suffer from depression myself but I am living with someone who does. When I finally learned that saying things like this really don't help I vowed to myself to learn more and try to be a helpful partner in their depression treatment. Welcome again! Justin
  2. Welcome, from a fellow new comer. It seems to me that you have a pretty good handle of what you have issues with. At your age I wish I was capable of the same. Be strong, Justin
  3. Does anyone know how to find a good doctor these days? I am trying to help my girlfriend get treatment for her depression but she is afraid of a having a bad experience with a doctor "who doesn't care". I can't blame her for taking this stance because I am sure there are doctors out there who just want to take your money and give you prescriptions. Is there any place I can see reviews for good doctors or mental heath professionals? Thanks, Justin
  4. Hi FLDad, welcome from a recent newcomer. I can't help but feel we are in a very similar situation. I don't have kids and am not married but I plan to do those things with my current girlfriend of 2 years who I live with. The fear of doing something wrong and setting her off is constant. I convinced myself it was something I was doing wrong. However nothing ever seems to make her happy even though I try by helping around the apartment, buying her occasional gifts, going places she likes, spending time with her. She has a history of depression and her entire family has a history of psychological issues. It sounds to me that you wife may have a similar situation with her mother having issues as well. Depression is much more common in women than men according to some studies, although this may be due to men's general reluctance to seek treatment. Depression is becoming ever more common in this country for reasons no one can explain exactly. I suggest you talk to your wife about marriage counseling or atleast talking to a doctor about your situation. I know treatment is like a foot thick brick wall to start but the day is truly brighter on the other side. I have seen this happen with my father who was diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder. Since treatment his relationship with my mother has become much more stable. The thought of taking medication every day for the rest of your life is pretty scary, but think of the alternatives. Would you rather take a little pill or be miserable? While I am still struggling to get my girlfriend to re-start treatment I hope you will do something to help your situation. Not only will your wife benefit from it but so will you and most importantly your children. Be strong, Justin
  5. Welcome Pisces, I am a new member to this forum as well. I won't pretend to know everything there is about psychology, depression or any disorder. I would not even consider myself a good person to talk to on these subjects. But what I do have to offer is experience. For 22 years of my life I felt like I didn't have a father. He was not physically abusive to my family but he would have screaming matches with my mother almost every night and leave for days at a time and come back like nothing had happened. Two years ago my 50 year old year father suffered a manic depressive episode that forced him into treatment for psychological issues. He wound up being diagnosed with type 2 bipolar disorder and started on therapy and medication treatment. My father's relationship with my family has since grown tremendously. It hurts me deeply, to the point of crying, to see my father be reliant on these pills but they are truly the lesser of two evils. The fact that you are seeking help and you know something is wrong says that you are stronger than most people who have similar issues. Everyone just wants to tell you to seek treatment and go on medication but maybe they are right. Taking the first step to treatment is daunting if not down right horrifying. From experience I will tell you there is light at the end of the tunnel for you. If you have a regular family doctor, talk to them. If you are uncomfortable talking to them then look up counseling centers in your area or look for a directory of mental health professionals online. Be strong, Justin
  6. The Friend: Unfortunately I have not yet found the courage to directly request that she seek treatment. I managed to get her speaking about possibly seeing a counselor but it never turns into action on her part. That was 4 days ago. Yesterday she was discouraged yet again in her hunt for a better job. Her current job is the cause of most of her anxiety recently. She made an offhand remark "I don't want to live anymore.". I know her enough to say she didn't mean it, but I know this is not good. I can't go ballistic on her and force her into treatment because that will just escalate her downward spiral. Some days are good, most days are bad. I fear her depression is also wearing on my mental state which has negatively impacted my own outlook on life as well as my performance at work. I can't ever tell her I feel good about myself or lucky in life because she will automatically start to think negatively about herself. It forces me to keep these thoughts to myself. Thank you all again for even clicking on this topic
  7. She was seeing a psychiatrist and on some medications before I knew her. She told me the side affects from the medication made her feel worse and at some times physically ill. That experience has made her wary of seeking help now because she believes doctors are just going to shove pills at her. She has a bachelors degree in psychology herself so she also knows that therapy is difficult and usually expensive as well. I've tried to analyze her symptoms myself using materials I have found my self about depression. I have found she exhibits about 90% of the typical things like irritability, self loathing, feelings of helplessness etc. She also has had a hard time dealing with the death of her favorite uncle some years ago. She brings him up every week, usually reminiscing about the same things, which can be really hard to listen to. Some times I want to tell her to move on but I have found that sending ultimatums to a depressed person is not a good idea and usually ends up in more pain/fights. I try to be supportive, make her happy, and gives her words of encouragement such as "I want to help you" and not "why can't you just be happy?" but she seems to have a very short memory about anything we talk about. I try to be patient with her but her constant state of irritability puts me in a defensive state automatically. Breaking this cycle is especially difficult because I know it will just happen again because she does not see it the same way I do. That was my rant. I don't actually expect anyone to read the whole thing (I probably wouldn't myself) but I have no other outlet. I would see a counselor myself but I feel any problems in our relationship that I have all seem to stem from her depression. And thank you for your responses, it's nice to know I'm not alone.
  8. Hello everyone, my name is Justin. I have come here because I am at the end of my rope and I do not know what to do. I do not suffer from depression myself but my girlfriend does. I want to help her but every attempt I make seems to end in abysmal failure. My hope is to find someone who has gone through a similar situation and has overcome the challenges of living with someone who is depressed. I also look forward to reading about others troubles and provide support back to those who support me. In understanding others problems I believe it helps to understand our own. I would also like to take this time to say the CAPTCHA systems this forum uses create a large barrier to entry to registering here. The second part took me some time to figure out with the crazy picture sorting. I was about ready to give up and say forget it but I have no one to turn to. Justin
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