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7thHeaveN

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About 7thHeaveN

  • Birthday 12/01/1990

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  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Upstairs, to the right
  • Interests
    in no particular order: Eating, Sleeping, Walking, Music, Cooking, Foreign languages and Maths-related

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  1. I get it, you're putting on facades. HOCD? Are you sure? With the lack of interest in mind, here's something that could, potentially, maybe, perhaps, highly unlikely, help. Just do stuff - sounds stupid, doesn't it? When I was about 17, I, for some reason got the same thing - I just couldn't give a damn about nearly anything. I like to play chess a lot, then for some reason I lost interest in it, fairly quickly, too - in a week's time I was so miserable, not just because of the chess, I couldn't focus/had a hard time remembering things. There are sudoku puzzles in the newspapers, I memorize a lot when I solve them, but it just didn't click. Now everything is fine, although it's been years since then. I'll give you the most stupid explanation on god's green earth how I had overcome it. Out of some unknown impulse, I just started doing stuff. The story behind the story was also that I needed to get a job and considering my, then, current lifestyle, it didn't look too good. Simple stuff - house chores, attend to animal, do coursework, exercise, tohugh I'd been exercising for years prior, and for some reason, didn't lose interest or motivation to exercise - create some sort of system for yourself to live by and stick to that system. Rest assured, it wasn't all alright the next day - it took some time, ok quite a bit of time, actually. Along the way I also started with fixing my meals. Just doing stuff will occupy your mind - of course there will be no interest, rather try to insert what you are going to do is necessary, not because you want to or not. No, I'm not viewing this as some teenager's 1st-world-problem-weekly. No no no. Good to hear that you take pride in who you are, you certainly don't lack confidence. I agree that we can't measure comparatively the "severity" of what's happening in our heads and as you say everybody has their own way of dealing with it. While it is important how you take on your problems, I don't want to believe, actually I don't, that it's Not important how others deal with their problems. Psychological or physical, material or emotional. I have learned A friggin lot through observation and I'm not talking about childish stuff like what do you do when your finger gets cut and starts bleeding. In fact, you would even be contradicting yourself - if you wished to know how to deal with your lack of sexual spark, you would, above all, want to talk to someone who knows what it's about and how they dealt with it and look for advice, which doesn't, in itself, ensure any progress, but there will be that short, millisecond long moment of euphoria. I won't let go of the other matter, though - talk about what is bothering you. Hell, you can talk to me even, my inbox is always open :) The effect will be better if you can talk to someone and maintain eye-contact while you're at it. While I have had some questionable times with my sexuality (times of mass panic), i wouldn't call it an hocd, probably just came by with certain age. Even if your pals dismiss that mental illness gibberish, you can still talk about it, even if just a little. It's not like it doesn't register - it does, but it's g-d embarrassing especially in front of company, easier to just wave it down, atleast that's the quint-essential contemporary approach. What matters is you didn't go through with suicide. Nothing is lost, you'll get through this s* and be alright, ye? Great :)
  2. Managed to only get hit by a small amount of raindrops of the millions total when it was raining today :)
  3. Excellent stand-up comedian, r.i.p.
  4. No need to be sorry for me, it's a thing of the past, just like you said you don't need people to tell you 'honestly, you're one of the most unluckiest people I've ever met and it confuses me how you've kept going so well' and blah blah blah. Malnutrition's effect is very subtle. Poor diet causes lots of problems, not only physical, but also psychological. You will not notice them, there is no visible threshhold for yourself.Unfortunately, I've been starved for days at a time, your mental health goes down the drain along with your physique, but you will not find it in yourself to block out the sensation of pessimism, even though in your "right state of mind" you know for sure, it's not good for you, because all you think about it is how to get a bite. It is a science, but I can't point out exactly what nutrient does what to you. As your diet declines your perspective changes, but like I said, you will not be able to notice it. Half jokingly, I would choose to be left without food for days rather than go on a bad diet. Diet's definitely Not the only thing that will mess you up, sure, but it is a big part of it. What I am trying to get at is that you find it easier to point your finger on something that is, seemingly, out of your control rather than criticize your own lifestyle, although you have done very well to cut down on junk, good job with that. That is not to say that I make fun of the whole depression scene, on the contrary - it's a very serious illness, BUT the word 'depression' is used far too lightly, as if it were some weekend trip to the mountains. I know it can get hard, but you should never Willingly believe or even think you are coming down with something like that.. please As always, if you feel I am judging and/or harrassing you, feel free to return the favor, I'm not shy :)
  5. My childhood was messed up, years and years and years of hell in the house. There's undoubtedly enough to contribute to severe depression plus 30% wholesale and in another life it might have gone that way, too. You should talk to somebody, tell them about your issues. Doesn't have to be a shrink, in fact, would be better if it wasn't. Not because of feedback, just so you could get that s* off your chest. If you try to skip the subject and not ever talk about it, well, you will burn. I don't strive for negativity as that's just idiotic and irrational (Thank you!). I want to find out what's wrong with me, and depression is all I can find You said yourself, your diet could be a genuine issue, how is depression all you can find? Those 2 are not the same. You don't fix your diet by taking a rainbow of different pills - you eat food, let me stress that - Food, which contains all them vitamins. Vegetables are a great start, especially tomato, the more colours there are in your diet, excluding colouring agents, the better. Sure you can take your vitamin pills, they have neglible nutritional value, though, and are far inferior to the real thing. Take it easy, buddy
  6. Are you depressed? I don't know man, I hope not. You might just feel repetitiveness and not necessarely depression. It's nice to look at those short skirts, but sexual attraction just because of that? Might be radioactive decay beneath there, who knows. Sparring helps, I can tell you, especially when you get your a.. handed to you. Leads to you wanting to fight with the guy again and whoop his sorry backside and if you get smashed again, you'll just keep going back. There's something to care about, there's something to focus on and there's a goal. So if you get your a.. kicked by dear life, then don't give up, keep fighting and keep winning. Don't "believe you've been through enough" to be clinically depressed. Have you any idea how that sounds? It sounds horrible. Sorry, but, it sounds as if you wanted to be clinically depressed and I hope I'm wrong about that. What have you been eating, that's what I would like to know. Malnutrition could be a cause for your problems. Left in deficite of certain vitamins and nutrients it will **** you up, I know, I've been there. Welcome aboard
  7. So you're judging people and labeling "armchair psychology" while in fact it's what you are. Then you hope to cast it all aside by saying "oh I was just joking, lighten up". Very convinient. If I were judging you, I would go by the book and enlist 100 different things that alcohol does to you, but I didn't. Maybe you should "mind your own business and stop judging people". Of course it is triggering if you make fun about something like that and yet you seem to know little to nothing about it.
  8. @1st post If you find salvation in alcohol, then by all means, go for it. If you insist, though, I find it problematic that you need to defend your obsession for alcohol. All in all, what's it to you why other people drink? If they don't drink to get drunk, good for them, no? I drink couple of bottles of b.eer maybe once or twice, at best, a year - it doesn't get me wasted and hammered then again it's not what I'm after. drink up
  9. The less time I have to worry and pity myself when times get hard, like a few months ago, I start working out more often. I can't fight back, I'll just burn.
  10. He never said he thinks you are "nuts". He just said he's not talking behind your back. Why must he be able to comprehend these things? Maybe he isn't capable. Insisting on one's or the other's way won't make anything better. Maybe he takes comfort in not knowing - as you said, big bicture you love one another. And he's a man - we're not exactly super-empathetic, en masse.
  11. Life is unpredictable. There is a minor chance every day that I'll be turned to roadkill or some nut pulls a knife on me in the street. What makes it a lot easier for me is that I remind myself that there are people who really have it rough. Some part in me likes the danger, keeps me awake. In my experience, change never came about when I "observed myself from somewhere away hoping/waiting s* to change". It happened unnoticeably, only later would I have realized, that "oh wait a sec, something's different". Need patience and focus for what ever one does.
  12. I remember chatting you up some unknown amount of time ago. You were so hellbent on going through with what you told me. I'm glad to see you're around and making progress.
  13. It's good you didn't play those computer games, less mind numbing and time wasting. I play 1 computer game, a couple of hours per week - I know there are hundreds of good games out there, I know I could spend hours and hours and hours a day cemented behind the desk, but regardless, I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything. You can talk to a professional, but there is no need for drugs at this time. You don't know and they won't know either just after a few visits whether you suffer from some sort of chemical imbalance in your brain. There is no way to know that for sure this quickly, no matter what anybody tells you. If you care for my opinion - you have been lazy and lacking responsibility. The easiest thing to do is to blame your lows on something that is not dependant on you - depression. How very convinient. That is not prejudice, that is speaking based on my own experience, because that's what I had to realize about myself at one point. Do you talk to your folks? Have you a good friend? Typing it all out in internet is one thing, getting it all out of your system in person is another, enlightening even. In such a dark state of mind, you will become very susceptable. When you do decide to talk to a doctor, a professional, do not take everything for pure gold just because he/she is the professional and educated in that field and blaa blaa blaa. The only one who knows you best is you. Take care, man
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