I have lived with depression for about as long as I can remember. I don't think I've ever had a "normal baseline" mood, always a little below as in a dysthymic disorder. However, I have come to realize that depression, severe depression, hits in waves. I can be slightly depressed, then major and suicidal, then back to slightly for example. There are times when suicide seems to be the only way out, and I will admit I've attempted before . I've tried the suicide hotline only to get someone that acted as if I was inconveniencing them, even posted on other forums. I lack interest in a lot of things I used to love, I feel constricted constantly, and can't act without feeling miserable. I'm in a relationship, even living with my girlfriend, but even sometimes that is a chore. It's hard to talk with people without them trying to become your doctor. I know they mean well, but they seem to believe what they want to believe and won't listen/remember what you say. Quite a hassle. So far I've learned to adjust to depression. It's not easy, but at least I can still do some activities I used to do. Searching for a job isn't helping the mood though. The few happy moments I had were when I helped other people through depressive symptoms, and even talking them down from suicide. Anyway, just thought I would say something since I joined. Not sure what I will get from this site.