Jump to content

JD4010

Platinum Member
  • Content Count

    8,690
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    65

Reputation Activity

  1. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from anon22ae for a status update, I don't live for myself. I live for others. If not for them, I'd be history.   
    I don't live for myself. I live for others. If not for them, I'd be history.
  2. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Devlinkyla for a status update, I don't live for myself. I live for others. If not for them, I'd be history.   
    I don't live for myself. I live for others. If not for them, I'd be history.
  3. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from anon22ae for a status update, I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving   
    I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving.
  4. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, Life doesn't get better only worse. Why can't I f ucking KI LL MYSELF???????   
    Life doesn't get better only worse. 
    Why can't I f ucking KI LL MYSELF???????
  5. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Tilted for a status update, I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving   
    I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving.
  6. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from MarkintheDark for a status update, I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving   
    I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving.
  7. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, I am so in-TENSE past tense Now I feel Inertia Creeping movingbup slowly Feeling sad   
    I am so in-TENSE
    past tense
    Now I feel 
    Inertia Creeping movingbup slowly
    Feeling sad angry and high all the same time
    But now..I feel the high turning to the worse still high make no mistake but the bile
    I taste it now, I feel it
    Tiger tiger burning bright
    But it gets so dark
    eternity in a grain of sand 
    Why were you so perceptive william blake
    F ucking Jerusalem
    shalom salaam allah akbar 
    Kabbalah sheol gehanna hosianna
    Going down down
    Sinking going down 
    The pit and the pendulum
    Finnegans f uckin wake.
    Wheres the guiness when I need it
    Men fan också
    **** my mind up
    Ineed to be dead NOW
     
     
     
  8. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, The crap in life outweighs any little “good” there is. Every time. Life isn’t worth l   
    The crap in life outweighs any little “good” there is. Every time.
    Life isn’t worth living and there really is no hope.
    Too bad I can’t just end my life. 
     
    I am too much of coward.
    I hate myself. I hate humanity. Nothing will ever change that. 
     
     
  9. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from anon22ae for a status update, I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to   
    I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.
  10. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Devlinkyla for a status update, I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to   
    I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.
  11. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from AloneGuy for a status update, I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to   
    I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.
  12. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from MarkintheDark for a status update, I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to   
    I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.
  13. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Tilted for a status update, I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to   
    I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.
  14. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to gandolfication for a status update, Spoiled milk dead fish rotten egg toothpaste barf can dog food booger stinky socks st   
    Spoiled milk dead fish rotten egg toothpaste barf can dog food booger stinky socks stink bug and dirty dishwasher.
    These evidently were the flavors I ate last night, late, After finishing a legal brief.
    the first couple that I ate were regular sweet flavors so I thought ah, these are the good ones.  Nope.
    I woke up this morning still feeling queasy and had to eat an apple to stabilize my nausea stomach.
    It's not helpful that Laurel just told me that technically I ate some of the real thing because they make these by sucking the air out of these real things and putting it into the jelly bean flavor.
    Emmmm.
     
  15. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, I don’t know..peer support doesn’t seem to help me at all. I just end up feeling wors   
    I don’t know..peer support doesn’t seem to help me at all. I just end up feeling worse. 
    I should just quit. 
    Everything.
    Check out  of life for good.
  16. Like
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, I find it impossible to be ..happy for want for a better word. Satisfaction. Accompli   
    I find it impossible to be ..happy for want for a better word. Satisfaction. Accomplishment. Meaning.
    Yada yada. You have all heard this before. I am the proverbial broken record.
    Because I feel EMPTY, VOID the whole time, whenever I do something, anything or not.
    Camus or someone else of the existentialist persuasion wrote something to the extent:
    Living a life not ending up k Illing yourself is a meaning of life enough. My wording, but the gist of the original is there. Not entirely sure what it means to be honest. In my case, I put it down to cowardice.
    Nothing I do leads anywhere. It’s as if everything I do is a substitution or play- acting for the real thing, life, whatever it is.
    I realized a while back how stuck I was in my life. My job. ME. I am stuck being someone I don’t recognize AT ALL. And the true tragedy is I have been like this my whole adult life.
    This isn’t what I want from life. Yet I haven’t a clue(I have always been lost) as to who I want to be and what I want.
    I have said this a million times before: I feel dead inside. At the very least an imposter, a fake person.
    Nothing gives me true pleasure. Neither  have I ever felt I have achieved anything. 
    I hate my job. A lot of the crap stems from this. All my jobs have been the same in essence though. Entry level. Menial. Low pay. Dead end. 
    I don’t know what to do any more. I am scared of the future. Old age terrifies me. I don’t want to live to be 70 or 75, living on a pittance(that is pretty much certain as I have no savings), just getting more sick. 
    I will be dead long before that. I will find the courage to end this .. excuse of a life.
    Fcku this sh it. 
     
  17. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from anon22ae for a status update, I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.   
    I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.
  18. Like
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, Mood is a funny thing. Right now I feel pretty good. I am back to martial arts with v   
    Mood is a funny thing.
    Right now I feel pretty good. I am back to martial arts with vengence.
    I need to do more. Keeps my mind off s hit. 
    Post-training pint of  stout in front of me, life could be a great deal worse.
  19. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Tilted for a status update, I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.   
    I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.
  20. Like
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, I did something today I have been putting off for ever, for no good reason at all as   
    I did something today I have been putting off for ever, for no good reason at all as it used to be something I liked doing before 
    I am also paranoid, so I am not saying what it is..
    But I feel good right now. 
  21. Confused
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, Did you know, it's entirely possible to be both suicidal and feeling pretty good too.   
    Did you know, it's entirely possible to be both suicidal and feeling pretty good too. Elated in fact. 
    So much energy, so much procrastination to be done. Ha ha!
    I am everyfcukingwhere at once. 
    EVERYTHERE
  22. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from Devlinkyla for a status update, I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.   
    I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.
  23. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from MarkintheDark for a status update, I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.   
    I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.
  24. Sad
    JD4010 got a reaction from AloneGuy for a status update, I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.   
    I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.
  25. Sad
    JD4010 reacted to samadhiSheol for a status update, I am so full of crap I should just flush myself down the toilet. I hate myself more t   
    I am so full of crap I should just flush myself down the toilet.
    I hate myself more than ever.
×
×
  • Create New...