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Everything posted by JD4010

  1. I've never been able to grasp those concepts either. "Self-love" sounds too much like vanity to me. And I'm not able to find much in myself to love in the first place, even if I wanted to be vain. Ditto. My daughter and my ex are both dependent on me. My ex works some but I burn myself out in this job to send them both money every month. After two back-to-back vet bills totaling $1000, I'm not going to be able to make it through this month financially. It frustrates the hell out of me to know that my constant stress and anxiety from work barely maintains my meagre lifestyle. I often wonder "what's the point?" Indeed, what is the point?
  2. I dumped $330 at the vet yesterday having this stray kitty checked out. He's doing better than I thought he would be. Now I have to go get a tooth yanked because I'm in absolute agony. That will be a minimum of $300 as well. I can no longer afford to simply live. I don't have cable or wi fi in my dump of an apartment. I face tremendous anxiety and stress every single day yet I can't come close to breaking even. Tell me why I should burn myself out at work if I only get further behind?
  3. Took the stray kitty to the veterinarian yesterday. He checked out well. His biggest issue is that he's malnourished. That's easy to fix. :) He has an abscessed tooth that needs to be removed but that's about it. They put his age around 6. I'm tempted to keep him--and my daughter wants me to--but I still struggle with having him integrate with the other two cats who've had me to themselves for five years. I dunno.
  4. I'm happy to hear that you are doing well in real life at least! DF has slowed down quite a bit over the past six months...might be the whole COVID business, I don't know. Far as I'm concerned, you are a very important member of the DF family. I'd miss the hell out of you if you left us.
  5. Agreed. I definitely fit right in with my hillbilly ancestry. I have few teeth left, actually. I can't smile now because the top row of front teeth is GONE. I can't afford the dentist; repairing one tooth will run over $1000.
  6. I'm in the same boat. I've put off having a tumor removed for almost a year now. I'm using the COVID situation as the excuse. I also have a tooth that broke off and is infected. Why did "God" create teeth with so many pain nerves in them?
  7. JD4010

    I wish I had the guts

    I could have easily written that same blog entry. I feel the same way. I don't know whether to envy people who "enjoy life", or pity them. All I know is that I hate my own existence. "Oh, but you can change it." Well, no I can't. I'm chained to this life for a list of reasons that I won't bore anyone with.
  8. Do you think the producers of the Smurfs are trying to mess with people's heads? I'm binge watching Star Trek Deep Space Nine. I'm on the last episode of Season 2. I didn't like the show when it first came out but now I love it. Great characters and stories.
  9. My daughter found a stray cat yesterday. She's really pretty; all black. She is craving love because all she wants to do is sit on you and purr. I have her in the spare bedroom of my apartment right now. She has a virus of some sort because she's sneezing a lot and one of her eyes is running. I worry because one of my cats might catch it, even though she's in a separate room. I don't know what to do with her. I'm feeding her because she is skin and bones. I'll take her to the vet tomorrow or Tuesday I guess.
  10. That's gotta be really rough. I find that there's no "rational" way of dealing with this kind of thing either...I just continue to silently suffer. Wish I had some great advice. Hang in there, my friend.
  11. Maybe they will get into a bidding war. "Oh yeah? Well I'm gonna send the American people a check for $10,000!"
  12. Wish I had seen this earlier, "old" friend. Sorry I missed you. The last paragraph of your post is EGG ZACHARY what I'm going through right now. I don't have the strength or perseverance of Sisyphus. I'll try to post more in a bit. I'm running out of words as my mind sinks into idle mode.
  13. More or less worthless. I'm merely going through the motions of life. This might be a good winter to fall through the ice fishing hole and not resurface.
  14. The first stimulus check covered my rent and utilities for one month. It didn't come close to covering my other expenses, especially the divorce settlement payment to my ex. It was the proverbial drop in the bucket. Honestly, I don't know what's keeping the economy afloat right now...and I believe the "official" unemployment numbers are BS...far more people out there unemployed, or way underemployed.
  15. I still think you need to adopt me so I can live in Canada.
  16. They help out the lobbyists and the big campaign donors. Individual citizens? Not so much.
  17. Wasn't "Radio Free Albemuth", was it?
  18. That's reminding me of some Phillip K. D ick novel...there was a dude up in the satellite beaming his program down to the surface of the planet. Now I have to find what that story was. ]
  19. I unplugged myself from commercial "news" almost completely. Best thing I ever did. I no longer have a dog in the hunt when it comes to national politics either. Trying to free myself from as much of daily trappings as possible.
  20. "The news" is carefully scripted to make us feel frightened and helpless I think. I hate that so much commercial TV is "sponsored" by Big Pharma.
  21. Been there several times. It definitely sucks.
  22. Hahaha. Just what I was thinking. I've found that cats, dogs, and cows all make for far better company than humans, @sober4life.
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