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JD4010

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Everything posted by JD4010

  1. One helluva day. My anxiety is through the roof. There's far too much happening at work and my personal life is in shambles too. The big "kick me" sign is affixed to my back and I can't remove it.
  2. @samadhiSheolI don't want you to leave. You actually matter a great deal to me. Your "philosophy" is so very similar to mine but you are able to write about it with much more flourish and detail than I can muster. I'm already wondering if I will finish this message and actually post it because I see it as pointless. But what else am I gonna do during the time I could be writing/posting? Seeing a fellow misanthropist does me some good. It doesn't make me "happy" but it does give me a little bit of...hell, I don't know what to call it...satisfaction? I can't stand myself and I can't stand being around other humans. I do love my two cats however.
  3. Oh, I understand that completely. I try to shrug it off as much as possible. I got a mask that has old tractors on it. I wear it only if I have to get in some place that "requires" the mask. Once I'm out the exit, the mask comes off again. I avoid popular media altogether because I think they try to constantly manipulate us. Look up Edward Bernays and prepare to be really pissed off.
  4. I've struggled with "self confidence" for 60 years now. My motto in life has always been "don't try to do anything because it will invariably lead to disaster". More colloquially, I think that everything I touch turns to sh!t. I despise myself as well. Everything about me makes me feel ill. If not for my cats and my daughter...
  5. Now they say we should be wearing goggles in addition to the stifling mask. I'll bet good money that earmuffs are next. The vast majority of us dutifully follow their directives (in spite of repeatedly and endlessly being lied to by government and corporate sources). We'd clap like a monkey if they told us it meant getting along with society.
  6. To me, wasps and hornets are in a far different league than bees. I don't feel much compunction for eliminating a wasp nest but I do everything I can to encourage honeybees and bumblebees...they are highly useful insects and very cool to watch.
  7. I feel like I'm trying to walk through a vat of jello, with just my head above the surface. Progress can be made, but it's agonizingly slow and very tiring. Other people who aren't having to deal with depression jello can walk easily and quickly as far as they want, while I consider it a good day if I make it 10 feet from where I was.
  8. And the bees! I remember as a kid wondering why we would want to destroy dandelions because they are so pretty and useful (you can even eat them!). The best answer I got was "because they aren't grass." Well, the bees don't like grass and unless you're a cow or goat or something, you can't eat grass either.
  9. I've arrived at the crossroads that I've mentioned before. I gotta make my choice now. Along the one path is something I've dreamed about for a very long time. On the other path is day-to-day responsibilities and familiarity. I can't have elements of both; it's all or nothing either way I go. Of course, I'm thinking about this with a heavy amount of guilt. I want to be happy but I also don't want to let people down.
  10. That sounds tricky as hell. I take it you are still talking with each other?
  11. You sure that we don't work at the same place??
  12. I grind my teeth while I"m sleeping and then they crack. Once they crack, they fall apart. I had one fixed a few years ago for $1000. Of course it is now broken again. I'll soon be eating nothing but jello for the rest of my life.
  13. Hey, sorry my friend. That's my main problem as well. I don't believe in myself. I don't feel capable of succeeding at much of anything. I reach the point where I don't even want to try...because it wil be just another exercise in futility. After getting zapped a million times from pushing the button, you realize at some point you should stop pushing the button.
  14. I"ve got bad teeth too. But it would cost north of $20,000 to make my mouth look respectable again. As if I have that kind of scratch just laying around. I've had three teeth yanked so far...another one coming up soon. Dentistry is such a racket.
  15. They issued a new mask order here...now you can be ticketed and fined if you're outside without a mask. That's absurd. I will wear one when I'm going in a place where there are other people, but when I'm outside walking by myself? No way. If a cop tries to arrest me for not wearing one, I will challenge it. First thing I'll do is say I have no ID on me so the cop can't get my name or residence without a lot of work.
  16. Share when you feel you are able to.
  17. This has been a nasty summer here. So much heat and humidity. Today is especially bad. I want to go outside and walk around but it's absolutely miserable.
  18. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. That's how it feels.
  19. Even with that, the test isn't particularly reliable. It turns up a lot of false positives and can't necessarily distinguish between COVID-19 and other coronaviruses (which are commonplace).
  20. I haven't been on for awhile, sorry. Nothing new to report; I merely continue to coast along through life while wishing I had fewer external issues controlling me. @sober4lifeCongrats on the new position! I grew up on a farm so I know how much work in involved. I'm envious in a way because there was satisfaction when a job was completed.
  21. Yep. The elite have gained complete control over what happens in the US Capitol and White House. Continuing to think that a corrupt system is going to correct itself is a pipe dream.
  22. I quit encouraging them. I no longer vote. It's to the point of, "what would you rather have, a poke in the eye with a rusty nail or repeated kicks to the groin?" How about, "that's not a choice."
  23. I'm an old guy (well, 60) and there is no way I'd answer a Skype call from an unknown caller.
  24. @Tymothi Personal failure sends me plummeting to the depths. Every time. And it takes every bit of energy I can muster to climb my way back up. Last night I screwed up and contacted a close friend on Messenger rather than via a text. I waited for 45 minutes and didn't hear back. Meanwhile, they were sitting on the text app waiting for me. When I found out what had happened, it was like the floor had dropped out from underneath me and I'd fallen miles. I screwed up. They had told me to text them. Something *that simple* can make me crash and burn.
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