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JD4010

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Everything posted by JD4010

  1. I'm here to say that I've been part of that analysis (but not in an official sense 🙂 ). It really changes one's perspective. I'm about due for another reset in fact.
  2. People who leave their dog's shit on the ground while walking. I stepped in a massive wad of dogshit in front of my daughter's place and it took me an hour to clean it all from the bottom of my cowboy boots. The dog must have been a Great Dane or St. Bernard because the pile was HUGE.
  3. JD4010

    I've Been Thinking

    Great post! I found myself nodding my head in agreement as I read it.
  4. There is one thing that worked amazingly well for me. Unfortunately, I cannot mention it here. My anxiety was reduced 90% however. I'm almost functional again! 🙂
  5. I've been feeling the same way...but in my case, it's the US I'd be moving from. It has become a very ugly society. It's easy to blame the current occupant of the White House, but he's only a symptom of the horrible disease that has infected this place.
  6. Christmas became a very negative time for me while I was still married. My ex would criticize each and every gift I bought her. It was never good enough. After a few years of that, I began to completely dread the holiday and would drink myself stupid just to keep myself blacked out until it was over. I now spend Christmas with my cats and I'm infinitely happier as a result. It still churns up bad memories for me, but at least they are now only memories.
  7. Happy to be there. The little things are what keep me afloat too. This morning, the alarm went off and I realized my cats were snuggled up close to me in bed. I ignored the alarm for awhile and just lay their thinking about how wonderful it was. One of those moments of unexpected bliss that make it seem worthwhile.
  8. This is the perfect place to post such a message. Sorry you are having such a difficult time. Please keep posting to let us know how you are doing!
  9. I often get told that I look like Walter White. Especially when I'm wearing my brimmed hat. I didn't know what people were talking about until I borrowed the first season of Breaking Bad from the library (I don't have cable or wi fi at home).
  10. Wish I had a good answer for you. I can read the pain you are feeling through your words.
  11. Oh gosh no. You didn't hijack the blog. You merely further expanded upon what I started. My ADD doesn't allow me to write much at one sitting so my posts tend to be brief. That, and I don't have much to say that I haven't already said a billion times before. I've loathed myself since I was very young...maybe six years old. Even by then, I knew full well that I wasn't designed for the same kind of life everyone else was living. I was a weirdo and an "outlier". Finding that kind of thing out when one is very young is traumatic. It has stayed with me through all of these decades.
  12. I should do the same. But I just got "tapped" to be an admin for a group I belong to. Fortunately, it's small and the members are all friendly.
  13. Sorry my friend. I kinda understand. I'm on half the mortgage for the house where my ex and daughter still live. I live in a dump of an apartment with leaky windows. I never know if I'm going to make rent from one month to the next. I seriously considered moving the cats and myself into the minivan over the summer. It's still a possibility.
  14. I hear ya. I head for a nearby truck stop that has delicious food. Plus I get to look at all the trucks in the parking area. I'll be taking care of daughter's (and ex's) cats during Christmas...meaning I will be in my former house (that I'm still on the hook for the mortgage). My life is nothing if not weird.
  15. Yes. Exactly. Thank you for posting that. Your are 100% correct.
  16. All of this pop psychology dogma says that I have to love myself. Am I the only one who thinks that's a massive load of bullsh!t? What's there to love about me? I suck grievously in a myriad of ways. I can't do anything right. The universe conspires to force everything I try to do right off the rails. I don't know why I even bother to try. I thought I had made this stupendous breakthrough at work today. I actually felt excited for a change. Yeah...well, no. It was just another false hope in an endless string of false hopes. As soon as I discovered my breakthrough was a mirage put forth to tease me once again, I fell back into my normal state of despair. The only function I have in this universe is to siphon off bad luck from other people so they can enjoy their lives more.
  17. Second verse, same as the first. Millionth verse, same as the first. Nothing ever changes (for the better, anyway).
  18. I'm very sorry, @PraiseBrownies. As others have said, this may end up being a very good thing for you in the long run. I know it doesn't feel like it right now though. Sounds like your fiance was mixed up at best...and didn't appreciate you as he should have. That's my diagnosis from a distance, anyway... Best wishes to you.
  19. Wow. I'm sorry things are sucking so badly for you. Facebook is weird in many ways. People react (or don't react) almost randomly it seems to me. I noticed that if I post something that's not "upbeat", I get very few replies or "likes". But if I post a funny gif or whatever, suddenly I have 20 likes. Human nature I guess. My place looks like a dump. I can't muster the energy to clean it and keep it that way. I'm exhausted from work and trying to keep my daughter afloat.
  20. I want to bump this thread because I'm a long-term Bupropion user. It's fascinating to read other people's experience with it. I use Bupropion as an adjunct to Citalopram. I still fall into some deep depressions but I'm not nearly as "off the rails" as I was before starting the two meds.
  21. Linguine Carbonara. I got it at an excellent family run Italian restaurant here in town.
  22. That's absolutely perfect. There is no free place to go and I'm definitely "collared-tight."
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