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Status Updates posted by JD4010

  1. Hey! You doing OK? I mean that in a relative sense of course.

    1. samadhiSheol


      Ok ..a reative term even in the best of times.

      I am indifferent, angry and hopeless.

      I am also tired of compromise. I am constantly choosing between meh and worse. And no so-called cure can offer anything better. It's always s question of coping. And I fu cking hate the term TO COPE. Acceptance. Well that is all I have ever done and now I have had enough of this crap we call life. 

      Some people are just not really equipped for living. Some of us are born..limpid for want of a better expression. Luke-warm. No passion. No dreams. No interests no talent. Just husks. Just going through the motions of life because there is nothing else.

      Add all that with the viewpoint that humanity is a f ucking meance to everything it interacts with..I see no point in existence. Not the human kind anyhow.

      The faster I die..the faster humanity just kills it's self off the better.

      That is all I really have to say.

      As some of you have noticed durinf the time I have wasted here in df.

      All I do is repeat myself ad nauseam. What's the f ucking point? Right there isn't one.




  2. I don't live for myself. I live for others. If not for them, I'd be history.

  3. I'm wasting life by being here. Wish I could give it to someone who is more deserving.

  4. I'm ready to hike into the forest and leave it all behind. So long, it's been good to know you.

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. JD4010


      Thanks @Tilted and @MarkintheDark. I'm still here. Tried to enter the forest but a bear chased me back out. Kidding of course. I'm alternating between hopelessness and anhedonia. Good times.

    3. Tilted


      Hopelessness and anhedonia is my range as well - sounds very familiar. Glad to hear you are back though...

    4. salparadise6132


      Glad you're back, JD!  


  5. I'm the chronic failure that allows others to succeed.

    1. salparadise6132


      No, I truly believe I am, my friend!!! The reality is, you are not and neither am I.  Oh, I certainly feel like it, some days. But, it's not true. The truth is unknowable to us when we're so far down.

      I, for one, and more too, 'cause there are many on here, admire greatly what you have accomplished!!!  And that's the bloody truth!!!!! I wish I could do it too.  It's just that I have this friend, who I consider my last friend, and she comes to me in a bottle and she never let's me down. 

      You had the courage to send her to the curb!!!!



    2. JD4010


      @salparadise6132 Yeah, I was best friends with her for too many years. She promised much but in the end, only delivered more pain. I still miss her from time to time though. Fortunately, my last hangover was so horrible that I never want to experience anything like it again.

      Yeah, we aren't failures when it comes down to it...though I have checked off many boxes defining failure over the years.

  6. 1. I've now gone 1 year without drinking.

    2. It's also the 2 year anniversary of the last time I heard from my long-lost GF. I'm tempted to rescind #1.

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. JD4010


      @MarkintheDarkYeah. I'll be seeing my cats in about 90 minutes. Really looking forward to it.

    3. HeatherG


      Congrats Buddy!  Keep taking care of yourself 🙂

    4. Tilted


      1. Awesome! You deserve many pats on the back for this one

      2. Ugh - so sorry about this one my dude

  7. But my good times are all gone, and I'm bound for moving on.

  8. What the hell happened to my life?

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. gandolfication


      I go back and forth.  Doesn't seem like there's much upside, but I do fluctuate.
      I only think about and remember the bad though, and today, I feel like there's a 10 ton weight on me.

      Walking in molasses or something, and just feeling the worst about everything.

      Don't know why I'm posting this on your profile update either.  :sleepy:

    3. babyxgothxx


      What's happened? Hope you're okay,... We're all here if you need to talk :console::icon12:

    4. JD4010


      Yeah. I know that feeling of walking through molasses. I'm walking relatively lightly today. Not sure what is "wrong" with me. Hahaha. Beautiful weather and it's a Saturday, I guess.

  9. Why do I even bother?

    1. gandolfication
    2. HeatherG


      Because people do care about you

    3. JD4010


      The trick will be finding out how to care about myself.

  10. Money sucks. The lack of it sucks even more.

    1. Mark250


      Great quote. Money is a sort of voodoo -- it's as valuable or worthless as the system decides it to be. But you're right, not having it sucks more.

    2. Nissala


      This is very true...especially the lack of...

    3. JD4010


      Hahaha. I'm going to start minting my own. It's got to be worth at least as much as the stuff the Federal Reserve puts out (which isn't part of the government, FYI).

  11. Sanity is a state of mind.

  12. Thanks for calling me "honey". :)

  13. Who wants to be sane in this crazy society?

    1. neurotic_lady89


      Not I! Sure seems more peaceful that way though.

    2. JD4010


      Hahaha. But who wants peacefulness? :smile:

  14. I'm so happy to hear about the side effects getting better!

    1. 20YearsandCounting


      Interesting avatar change...almost didn't recognize your post!

  15. I ask myself why I would want to be sane in this messed up society?

  16. I'm weary of watching good people suffer and bad people living the high life.

    1. flasquish


      So very true.....

  17. I'm worried about the people who *aren't* depressed in this messed up world.

  18. Divorce is a special kind of hell.

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