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JD4010 last won the day on November 12 2017

JD4010 had the most liked content!

About JD4010

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    Platinum Member
  • Birthday 11/14/1959

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    Enemy Occupied Territory
  • Interests
    Old cars, trucks & tractors. Astronomy. Meteorology. Sci-fi.

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  1. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    I understand that completely. I'm on the verge of a breakdown because of the constant stream of BS coming at me from all directions at work. What little strength I have is waning quickly. Yet I'm stuck here until I cannot work any longer.
  2. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    Amazingly, I just got done having that conversation with a coworker. The pettiness of people is jaw-dropping. There's a person in our office who has to "rat" on everybody. She's very insecure and she projects it onto everyone else. Some of the stunts she pulls are truly horrifying. Work is miserable enough without having a person so full of negativity dragging everyone down with her.
  3. In a word, anxiety SUCKS. I've suffered from it most of my life. I became severely depressed back in 2013 as well. My cocktail is as follows: Citalopram, Bupropion, and Gabapentin. The Gabapentin supposedly reduces anxiety but I'm not seeing much in the way of results. I have tried taking 3 at one time (total of 900 mg) and even that didn't do anything. I have also developed a degree of anhedonia, which makes it all too easy to say, "I don't care" to almost everything, even work projects. Some people might call that burn-out. I call it complete exhaustion.
  4. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    Oh dang. I'm sorry. My condolences to you and your family.
  5. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    Yeah. I know exactly what that is like. I think. I had some toxic relationships in the past too, both romantic and close friends. I'm sorry you are struggling. It ain't no fun. Cheers, mate.
  6. What Are You Listening To Right Now?

    I can listen to it over and over again. Especially if I'm "under the influence".
  7. What Are You Listening To Right Now?

    The Israelites ~ Desmond Dekker & The Aces (1968). Great reggae classic.
  8. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    I feel...trapped. So many responsibilities.
  9. I'm Not Real and I'm Worthless

    Y'know, I think many of us here in the depression and anxiety realm are more real than the people who pretend to be normal. They wind up projecting their inner feelings onto others--and we can be the victims of that. And, as @Soyer said:
  10. Hope you made it OK. We are having a hint of spring here today--10C and sunny. The ice is really melting on the lakes. But instead of being outside "enjoying" the weather, I'm stuck in this GD office. Positive? I got to sleep in for a little longer. Both of my cats were with me. I love waking up with them near me.
  11. Adios

    Thank you. The same holds for you, my friend. And everyone else here for that matter. I would have flushed it years ago if not for this place. My (ex) girlfriend used to be a member of DF and she brought me out of the darkness for at least a little while. I miss the hell out of her.
  12. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    Your self control is very admirable. I've been shoveling crap into my system for months now. I did get out on the bicycle yesterday at least. I should do it again today. It's 50 here!
  13. The "How Do You Feel Right Now?" Topic (5)

    Yes. Money. It keeps us racing on the hamster wheel, just trying to keep up with life. I'm falling down though. I drop and the wheel keeps spinning furiously so I bounce against it. Meanwhile, God or somebody keeps shaking the cage while I'm trying to regain my footing. Everything seems rigged against me. I love northern New Mexico. My daughter was at a figure skating camp in Santa Fe back in 2006. I didn't want to leave and come back to humid old Wisconsin. I don't belong this far east. Isn't that weird how I say that? I spent 8 years in Colorado. We left in 1968. I still have dreams about it, all these years later. We could look out our front window and see the Rockies. They were only a few miles away.
  14. Real life is tough

    Exactly. Much of my "issues" stem from the fact that I don't fit into the norms of this society--nor do I want to. We glorify greed, vanity, narcissism, and violence. Popular culture disgusts me. I feel like it gets crammed down our throats. I gagged a long time ago and refuse to take any more of it. @Sophy Thanks for the superb post to start this thread. You said it all, very eloquently.
  15. Adios

    Sober and I were feeling miffed about being moderated. I got busted for bumping a thread and because I was already so frustrated with my life, it sent me over the edge. I think we are both going to stick around--for awhile, anyway.