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Everything posted by GAJ123

  1. Yeah, I hear you. I’m just angry & bitter with how my life has turned out. Nothing has gotten better & I just feel so lost in this life. I’m worried about my future everyday but feel I have no control over anything due to my situation.
  2. To update this thread from long ago my brother & his girlfriend are STILL living here. So you can imagine how big of an f’d up situation it’s been for me. I knew when they came back here they were going to take advantage. I don’t even bother talking to my brother anymore since all he cares about is when things benefit himself.
  3. I don’t understand how when it comes to things like social circles, jobs, relationships etc. it just feels like things just organically work out for everyone. It feels like magically everyone has dozens of friends they can talk to or hang out with, get great jobs, find relationships so easy where if they break up with someone than all of a sudden a month or two later they’re with someone else. I don’t know if it’s just me that notices this type of stuff but it boggles my mind how it always feels like things just fall into place for everyone when I’m not around. When I’m at work I always constantly see guys with good looking women or if I overhear convos they mention how they have a house & have a great job or whatever else. Than seeing the groups of friends together all the time when it’s almost impossible to start a social circle in 2019 once school is done with. It’s just annoying that anywhere I go people view me like I’m a ghost unless it’s at my job where people are forced to interact with me otherwise they wouldn’t say a single word otherwise. Why do things fall into place for everyone is what I don’t understand.
  4. I just feel trapped since I can’t deal with my job anymore. I want to quit so bad but than I’d have no money coming in. My issue is I’m not good at anything so I’m stuck working awful jobs & anytime I look online for other work it’s just nothing that interests me or you need a bunch of experience. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I wanted to just walk out of my job yesterday but I held myself back from doing it. Not sure what I’m supposed to do. It’s a vicious cycle whether I quit or not it’s going to be a miserable existence.
  5. Didn’t have it in me to message her again. It’s been 3 days now. I just take it as a loss & figured if she were still interested she would have messaged me again. I just knew when she asked if I was a shy person out of nowhere that she pretty much viewed me a certain way. I’ve said it for years now & expect to be alone for life. I honestly had this fear as a kid that as I got older I’d never meet anyone & it’s unfortunately coming true.
  6. Not sure there’s really a point. We haven’t talked in 2 days after the whole shy thing. Probably better off just not even bothering since she would have reached out to me by now I think if she were still interested.
  7. I never responded to her after asking if I was a shy person. I just asked that it’s noticable through text? And she just said yeah kinda. Than I never talked to her since. We were supposed to go out to dinner one day soon but once someone mentions me being quiet/shy I just know they get turned off. Women find me boring I think. I also have a bunch of health issues where I feel like I’m at a stand still. So many people at my job moved on to bigger things & I’m still there feeling left behind with not being able to do much more due to all my problems. I also feel like I can’t date since my anxiety just goes into severe overdrive where I can’t calm down. Than I won’t even be able to be myself on the date due to the stress of it all. It’s like the one date I went on I was pretty much just waiting for the end of it due to it being so awkward. I can’t be comfortable meeting someone for the first time so I’ll never be able to have a good first date with anyone. It’s like I’d have to organically meet someone somewhere to stand any chance. I read your entire post & appreciate what you’ve written. I just feel there’s no hope for me anymore.
  8. Well, I likely screwed it up anyway if she was still interested since after mentioning if I was shy I pretty much stopped replying after. I already feel she views me as weak already. I know how it is based on my own history that the vast majority of women just dislike shy guys. If they didn’t I should have been in at least 1 or 2 relationships at my current age. I’m a guy in his early 30s that’s only been on 1 date in his whole life. And I don’t consider myself bad looking either which women would likely think I’m crazy if I told them I’ve never had a relationship. I’m just so screwed due to health issues ruining my life. I don’t see a way out of any of this anymore. I’m beyond tired.
  9. I just don’t know how it’s came to this though. My life is a complete nightmare that never ends. I never could have imagined that this would be my life at my age. It’s incredibly depressing & makes me feel horrible. I pretty much am literally just existing for no reason. I’m just a useless waste of damn space.
  10. Not really but it’s definitely not a good sign. From my experience, women absolutely don’t like shy guys. They view it as a weak trait in a guy. I don’t even want to bother responding to her anymore. And deep down it gives me a little comfort sadly knowing I’m back in my comfort zone. lol it can’t get any worse than my life man. It’s such a joke being me.
  11. lol she flat out asked if I was a shy person through text. So even without meeting me she knows. Life is so lame man. I wish I just wouldn’t exist anymore. I don’t get the point of this anymore.
  12. It’s like where do I draw the line here. I feel I can’t do anything out of my comfort zone due to all my health issues. If I do than I’m just in severe constant stress where I’m than forced to stay in my comfort zone to end the severe constant stress. I mean what am I supposed to do? This is just a complete disaster of a life & it’s never going to end.
  13. Man, I’m such a loser. I matched with a really good looking Brazilian girl on one of the dating apps & she flat out hinted at me taking her out to dinner. I’m too nervous to agree to it & have severe stress at the thought of going out with her. Why can’t I just be normal & be able to do things without having severe stress & low moods from letting me do anything? It’s likely going to be another missed opportunity because I’m too stressed out at just the thought of going out to dinner with her.
  14. Yeah true, but I know for sure at least 90% of people I see when out likely have better overall lives than I do. My life just sucks all around in every area.
  15. It seems most places I go most people are already in relationships or have a group of friends with them. Yet outside of people that know each other already I notice no one is social at all. So how are so many people meeting others as friends or getting relationships when anywhere I go if a woman is by herself for instance she just keeps to herself or is glued to her phone or something else. I don’t understand how others just have good social lifes & can get relationships so easily while others no matter what just can’t do anything about it. The advice I always get is to join clubs or some other thing just to be on the same level as others that seemingly don’t have to put so much effort in. Things just seem to work out for them for no reason at all while for others they have to do dozens of different things & try hard just to try to be on the same level. Why does life have to suck so bad?
  16. I could have literally wrote 80% of this post word for word. It sucks being alone but being so ****ed up pretty much doesn’t allow me to be with anyone.
  17. It just feels like everywhere I go no one talks to anyone. I already am joined to a gym but everyone there just keeps to themselves or only talk to people they know already. It’s difficult making new friends the older you get so I don’t know what to do.
  18. Basically I got screwed over yet again where some “friends” (not sure I even want to call them that anymore) got tickets to some event & of course I wasn’t invited yet again. The issue is the one friend got tickets through someone he knows I don’t like but obviously he favors that friend of his over me so I get left out. So it’s like what do I do? The issue is the only people I talk to I feel don’t even give a damn about me much. But if I just stopped talking to them I would literally have no one to ever talk to which would make things even more depressing for me. It’s just a bad situation since either way it’s like if I keep talking to them I’d feel like I have no respect for myself but if I don’t I’d never have anyone to talk to anymore since my other friend is always busy with things & I only talk to him like once every 2 weeks.
  19. Oh well, well it’s official they’re staying here until sometime in 2020. I heard my brother’s girlfriend talk to my Mom & I overheard her saying about getting married which won’t be until December of next year, than going on their honeymoon than buying a house. I just had a stress attack over this. I couldn’t even feel my hands. My life is just in shambles all around. I can’t even move out due to not having the money or being in any condition to be on my own. I feel I’m semi disabled since I just can barely do anything when I’m not at work.
  20. I just don’t see how I can just move away so easily though. I already know my bank account would go down to nothing within a year or so only to have to move back anyway so why even bother with it? I’d likely be making way less than what I’d have to spend each month on house payments, food, etc. There’s no way I’d be able to get by without working like 50 hours a week. And I’ll just have to find another primary doctor in my area & pretty much get the same results most likely where they can’t help me. The same thing constantly keeps happening. My big problem is I’m not good at any particular thing to start a career in it. It’s like I have some hobbies & interests but none of them will ever lead to any career realistically.
  21. lol that would be pretty extreme since they’re the ones that came back here & took over the part of the house I used to constantly use. But who even knows, it wouldn’t surprise me. Now I’m mainly stuck to 2 rooms in the house since the rest is basically off limits due to them being here. And the issue is the part of the house they took over is where the TV I used to use is. So I can’t just go there anytime I want anymore. They also have a dog with them too where a gate has to be put in that area so it’s a giant hassle to even go there. The computer room is pretty much gone for me too since I would have no privacy there since they would constantly come in & out of the room since the laundry room & refridgerator they use is right by the wayside of that room. And I do have a lot of anger towards him since he only ever cares about himself as I said. If something doesn’t benefit himself he doesn’t care. When he wasn’t living here he barely ever stopped by or sometimes wouldn’t talk to my parents for weeks at a time. It’s just annoying how he tries to use that stupid alpha male crap thinking I can’t do anything about nothing since I’m younger & physically weaker than him. If the shoe was on the other foot & it was me with a girl moving in here & he was single all hell would break loose here since he’d start problems for us since he’d never give us privacy or anything since we’d need the area that they’re using now but he would always want to be in that area. That’s what I don’t like about him since he would cause the biggest problems everyday if the roles were reversed.
  22. Anything I do won’t change anything. I already spoke to my parents about how they lied of only claiming to stay here for 6 months but now they’re planning on leaving on their own time. It’s like I’m in a losing situation here no matter what. If I say anything all it’ll do is start a big argument of sorts where I’d be considered the bad guy so I’m pretty much stuck with no voice. My parents don’t say anything because they don’t want to be estranged with them I guess since if they flat out say they have to leave I just know my brother won’t talk to them for a long time. And I live in one of the 5 most expensive states in the U.S. so I can’t just get a job that pays like $12-$15 an hour & move out like I could if I lived in a cheaper state. I would have to get 2 jobs, maybe even 3 just to be able to move out comfortably.
  23. I get what you’re saying since maybe I come across as a bit hypocritical but what bothers me the most is how they basically lied of how long they’ll be here. When they said only 6 months I was angry at first but than said to myself I’ll just deal with it. But after the 6 month timeframe came & went I knew something was up. Now it’s almost a full year & they still don’t seem to be moving out anytime soon. Supposedly they might not move out until the end of next year or maybe even 2020. What annoys me also is how they basically took up like half the house just to themselves where I can’t even use that part of the house anymore. It’s like I’m either in my room or in the kitchen when I’m home. I feel like a prisoner here almost. I just know no one even cares. My brother I know for sure doesn’t feel the least bit bad about any of it. I know how he operates with everything & only cares when something benefits himself. He’s just always been like that since we were kids where he only cares about himself. Our personalities are just completely different where we’ll likely never be close.
  24. Because they were only supposed to be here for around 6 months at best but now they’re taking advantage & will leave on their own time. How is that okay? He already moved out than waltz right back here taking over everything like he owns the place. And I just know deep down he has the attitude about me like what am I going to do about it? I just can’t stand that type of shit because he’s older he thinks he can do that. He thinks that over time I’m going to forget about this but I won’t. Once they leave here I don’t want anything to do with them at all since as I said they don’t give a damn about me. And if I speak up about anything than nothing happens anyway. Also, I don’t get how his gf even is here. It makes no sense to me how she’s even allowed to live here like this. Like what if they broke up for some reason than she would have been living here for free when she’s not even officially family. I don’t get why they couldn’t move into one of her family’s places instead of here. I already told you that before a year is up my savings would be down to almost $0. I’m not working 60-70 hours a week just to get by living in a shitty apartment with people I don’t know or trust. I can barely work the job I do now with all my problems there’s no way I’d be able to work 2 or 3 different jobs. And no one wants to give me clearance to see a specialist since I’ve already been to so many doctors already. I was just at the doctors a week ago & he just said he don’t know what he can do for me at this point since I already been to all the different type of doctors. Now he’s not going to not be in my insurance plan anymore after the year is up so I have to find a new doctor. So I have to see if I can get a referral to see someone from a new doctor.
  25. Thanks, but honestly not really. Just the same old pretty much. Always feeling angry & just never feeling right. I feel like if it wasn’t for all my issues I would have a life right now but I’m stuck in a hell I can’t escape from everyday. I just don’t know how I’m even still here at this point with how awful my life is.
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