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About GAJ123

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  1. I’m older but life situation has caused me to be at home yet. And I live in one of the most expensive states in the U.S. so I can’t just move out. I’d be broke within 6 months & would need to work 3 jobs just to get by. Had a big argument with my parents earlier about this since I couldn’t hide my anger anymore. I guess to some I’m the jerk in this situation since it’s not my house but I’m just annoyed that I was basically lied to & now they’re going to be here for another year & a half it looks like.
  2. So I probably mentioned awhile back that my brother & his fiancé are living at my house & I can’t stand it. They might be here for another year & a half yet & it’s very annoying & is making my life at home miserable since I can’t even do what I want in the house I live in. But anyways, I realized I have literally nothing in common with her at all. She doesn’t watch movies, any of the same tv shows, doesn’t play videogames & doesn’t watch sports. My brother a few weeks ago mentioned a very famous actor where he was in the news about something & she didn’t even know who he was. I was just thinking to myself like wow no wonder we never talk or hardly talk to each other. It’s just awkward since there’s nothing ever to say to her. It makes me feel sad to say this but I’m not particular fond of her that much either. Just something about her personality rubs me the wrong way like she wants what she wants & doesn’t give a crap about anything or anyone else. My brother is like that too so I can see why they’re together since they’re similar. They were supposed to move out of my house within 6 to 8 months but it looks like they might be here until the end of 2019 which pi**es me off since they lied about it being for a few months only. I told my Mom when she told me about them moving back here that she’s lying to me & it’ll be a lot longer than a few months. And of course I was right. And it’s mainly due to my brother’s fiancé I think because she always says one thing but does another. I notice she always makes comments about doing something but it never happens or gets postponed for a really long time. They also took over most of my space that I used to use in the house & now I’m stuck either in my room or my kitchen when I’m home. She doesn’t even care that she took over half the house & makes my life miserable. She doesn’t give a damn at all about me. I don’t know how my parents let this happen or why they’re okay with this. It makes me sick to my stomach that this is my living situation for a long time to come. I would move out if I could but I don’t have enough saved up to last me for more than maybe 6 months on my own And I don’t want to work 2 or 3 jobs so I’m stuck. Sorry that this was a long rant & a bit sloppy in structure maybe but I’m just p***** off bad about this.
  3. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    Woke up today to the same problems again. I don’t know if I should just post this everyday to show how ridiculous this is to keep going on like this. It’s such a joke at this point.
  4. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    It just is ridiculous though. I have no quality of life at all. My mental & physical health is garbage. I have no social life outside of hanging out with people once or twice at most per year. I have no girlfriend & never had one at almost 33 years old. I’m an extremely insecure person as well. I’m not good at anything at all. I have a job that pays garbage & no career since I’m not good at anything. I’m just tired of being me. I want to be dead already. I don’t have anything more left in me to keep going like this. I have no interest in living a poor quality of life for the rest of my life.
  5. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    So as predicted I woke up today feel like garbage with all the same issues, rinse, repeat. I’m such an ***** to keep going on like this. It’s just ridiculous & madness at this point. What the hell is my end goal here to stay around being this way? I don’t understand what the purpose of this is.
  6. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    It just doesn’t make sense to keep living so horrible. The problems I have never go away. It’s just ridiculous at this point. No matter what I do I just feel awful.
  7. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    I don’t want to live to hope for a miracle. A miracle is a very small percentage chance of happening. I’d be extremely angry if I was like 60 years old & nothing ever changed for me. I would rather just get it over with than to have to live through many more decades of agony.
  8. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    I asked God a week or two ago to just let me die already. It just sucks being me & I don’t want to live like this anymore.
  9. GAJ123

    I think I’m done soon

    I’m just tired of knowing how the days ahead are going to be. It just seems like things get worse for me than better. I have no life & I’m just sick of this. There’s just no point in going on like this if things never change. I’m just sick of this. I don’t want to wake up 20 years from now & still have a bunch of health issues & a horrible life. It’s just beyond tiring at this point.
  10. I don’t have anymore in me to keep doing this. I’m sick & tired of this that I just never feel right & nothing goes right for me. I just want this to end already. I just don’t even know what else to say that I haven’t said countless times before. It’s just madness to stay alive like this when it seems things get worse & not better. Just a damn disaster of a life in every area. I’m just at a loss as in what to do at this point.
  11. I just want to check out of this life soon. I’m so tired of all these problems plaguing me. I just can’t deal with this much longer. My quality of life is complete garbage.
  12. It’s not meds. Ever since this issue started I haven’t even been able to take meds. My body doesn’t react well to meds due to the burning. I’m at a loss in what to do to fix it.
  13. I’ve had this problem forever with burning in my head & ears & it affects my life so bad. I just can’t believe after all this time these symptoms are still here. I’m just at a loss at this point since I’ve been to constant doctors & I’m sick of this. It affects the way I feel & everything. It feels like it affects my nervous system too in some way. I’m wondering if it’s nerve damage but I don’t know how to know if it is or not. I’ve had a brain MRI done already, CT scan of my entire face, sinus CT Scan, TMJ MRI & XRay & they all come back normal. I just need help in figuring out what to do about this & what it even is to fix it.
  14. Is it possible to even change from being quiet my entire life to being an outgoing person? It seems being the quiet guy has ruined my life in more ways than one especially with women, but I feel I can’t just change into an outgoing person that can just talk to anyone. It just seems it’s a big part of the reason why I hardly have any friends or never been in a relationship. People gravitate towards people that can talk & not people that are quiet. Women especially love being around outgoing guys much more than quiet guys & my life experience is proof of that. I just wish I had a different personality but I can’t just out of nowhere change into someone I’m really not. It just sucks that it seems I have nothing that society finds attractive. People love outgoing but I’m quiet, women love tall guys but I’m short, I have a low paying job, but for a serious relationship women want a guy with a career level paying job, I have depression & other health issues but people want to be around other non depressed & healthy people. There’s probably a bunch of other things too that I’m not thinking of. Life really sucks if you’re not a part of what society deems attractive.
  15. GAJ123

    How Do You Feel Right Now #6

    Pretty much I just think almost everyday for the past few weeks how I wish I was dead. Yet another day waking up to all my same issues. This is just ridiculous at this point. I really have no idea why I’m even still alive at this point.