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Everything posted by Kogent5

  1. That does sound very confusing! Does this happen all the time or only sometimes? Have you talked to anyone about this? A therapist or doctor would be able to help (or recommend someone who could). It is really hard to deal with mental issues alone.
  2. The construction will not last forever. It's okay to be anxious about strangers in your home, especially with COVID-19. I feel more depressed every day. I recommend ear plugs and loud music. People here are very understanding. You can say as much - or as little - as you want. The universe will do what it wants, no matter what we say on this forum. Why is your depression confusing you?
  3. It's a website/app. They have volunteer listeners who you can text with (you can also pay for actual therapists, but I've never done that). There's usually quite a few volunteers so it doesn't take too long to get matched with someone. I have had more good luck than bad with their listeners so it's worth a shot.
  4. I use 7cups and chat with the listeners on there when things get especially rough (especially if it's the middle of the night). It's not perfect, but it helps.
  5. That's true. He would probably be scared for you more than himself. With hpv, guys can get the vaccine and use protection too. That's an adjustment, not a dealbreaker. I had a coworker a long time ago who was upset with this girl he was seeing not because she had an std (he was actually okay with that), but because she told him after they had unprotected sex. Right now you are dreading something that might not even happen, and I know that is a horrible feeling. It's better to find out from the person themselves, even if it hurts. At least you will know for real.
  6. Sorry if I came across as dismissive, I didn't mean it that way. Why do you think it's a make-or-break thing? Do you think he will be angry or scared?
  7. I always read your posts and always feel you deserve so much more than you've been given. You've mentioned before your concerns about your boyfriend, so it's not like he doesn't come with his own baggage. And accepting a child that's not yours is a big thing, for some even bigger than knowing you have hpv. Almost half of sexually active people get HPV in their life, it doesn't have the same stigma as other STDs. It's important to tell him so you guys can take proper precautions for his health as well. I hope you guys can carve out a better life.
  8. She Used to Be Mine cover by annapantsu I have a hard time crying but I just spent like 15 minutes crying until I felt nauseous listening to this song. She's imperfect, but she tries She is good, but she lies She is hard on herself She is broken and won't ask for help She is messy, but she's kind She is lonely most of the time She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie She is gone, but she used to be mine
  9. Knives Out. Wasn't expecting much, but it's the most fun I've had watching a movie since Hot Fuzz. Ana de Armas is like an adorable baby bunny in this. Super recommend. I like Rob Zombie's aesthetic and I don't mind he casts his wife in everything Didn't like his version of Halloween though.
  10. Decluttering, reading, playing through Steam games, and this month my goal is to get stuff prepared/photographed for selling on eBay. But mostly slowly falling apart mentally
  11. America is insane, and I am not talking about the protesters. A police state that imposes its hypocritical views about democracy, freedom, and equality on other countries. Not to be outdone, in Canada the cops are also shooting rubber bullets and tear gas at peaceful protesters. Neither country should be telling others how to live when our own countries are so broken. I'm supposed to be outraged because a building got burned down? Cops are ******* innocent people in their homes and on the streets, shooting tear gas and rubber bullets at peaceful protesters and journalists, ruining people's lives on false charges. And they do it confidently while they know people are filming. Nah. I don't agree with destroying the buildings of local businesses, but I will side with the vandals over the killers every single time. People weren't listening before. They're listening now.
  12. Very anxious. I have to go get the groceries from outside in about a half hour but the next door neighbors are out working on their garden (also there are like 5 cars in front of their house, we're only just easing quarantine restrictions, yeesh). I feel so much anxiety and also foolish. Am looking at social anxiety memes to help me calm down a bit.
  13. I think the goal should always be to not overwhelm hospitals. A lot of the people at our meat-packing facility are scared to go back to work, but they aren't easily replaced because many are overseas foreign workers who weren't getting paid minimum wage and most Canadians would not put their lives on the line for that. I think this pandemic has exposed a lot of the cruelty in our economic system. I'm in Canada, so just watching the response from the US is bananas tbh.
  14. People try hobbies, decide it's not for them, that's all. It doesn't mean she doesn't appreciate the gift, just that playing guitar isn't for her. Even if I did enjoy a hobby, for someone to pressure me about practicing would put me off greatly. For it to be the catalyst for huge arguments would put me off even more. To suggest destroying something she cherishes (even if just to look at) is unnecessarily cruel. Let her be.
  15. I wish they would open city by city. My city still has active hotspots while the city above us has had very few daily cases for a while. Start reopening them, let us stay closed another week and then reassess.
  16. My cousin asked me to donate money to this family. I'm not comfortable donating to non-charities and told her so. Then she replied with a really passive aggressive comment. I don't really know how to reply. I only started texting her since the pandemic started. I was already irritated because she keeps sending me this religious stuff. I don't want to be rude but I am massively annoyed.
  17. Maybe there is someone who can rent you a room in their house? Roommates? airbnb? Local churches, homeless shelters, DV shelters would be good sources of information on affordable housing and social services. Check into storage sites in your area to leave your stuff. I know it's tough without a car. Another poster here was kicked out of their house during this, so best to prepare. I was going to suggest recording your conversations but it seems recording without consent of the other person is illegal in Illinois. There are exceptions, like if you know something illegal is about to happen. There is a subreddit called r/legaladvice that might be able to help you with eviction and recording laws in your state, you should try posting there. There is a video by Dr. Ramani on YT called "What to do when a narcissist turns people against you". She has some good advice (not just for narcissists). Try not to ask her for help with anything. Minimize any contact with her until you can get out. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. All the toxic families are "blossoming" in this pandemic. These types of family members thrive on making you miserable. Keep moving forward with your life, even if right now it is only out of spite.
  18. I'm glad you've found something that works for you! I've not heard of positive psychology so will have to look into that. Do you find it more useful than therapies that focus on negative events/thoughts? I tend to forget a lot of the stuff from self-help books or get bored, so don't have much to recommend. My attention span is awful, so stuff that tends to work for me are short and non-academic. Another Buddhist book recommendation, Opening the Door of Your Heart by Ajahn Brahm. A collection of stories/lessons about happiness. I listen to the audiobook once in a while. The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up by Marie Kondo. I tend to really dislike and am suspicious of self-help books that get super popular, but this helped a lot in dealing with emotional attachment to stuff. Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Claire Weekes. Another audiobook recommendation. Listened to a lot when I started having panic attacks/mental breakdown. Currently reading The Untethered Soul by Michael A. Singer. It gets redundant and doesn't answer a lot of questions, but it helped explain meditation in a way I could understand.
  19. It helps if you're sheltering-in-place and no one is going to look at you for a few months. I have black hair and bad eyesight so it's probably a horrorshow in the back, I can't really tell. I cut my bangs at the beginning of quarantine and ended up looking like that dude from Tiger King, so results may vary
  20. I cut off 5 inches of my hair by myself. Obviously not perfect, but it's a bit cute if I ignore the unevenness. I was getting sick of shampooing my long hair and losing so much of it.
  21. There is this turkey that has been wandering around my city since the shelter-in-place started and idk why but it really lifts my spirits lol. I didn't even know we have wild turkeys here. In general, I like reading about animals suddenly popping up because all the humans are inside
  22. Well we had a big outbreak at the meatpacking plant in Cargill, so waiting with bated breath on how bad that turns out. I think our provincial government has botched so much of this crisis up but that's par for the course here The ERs here are still busy but not so much regular medical clinics. Most people are only going if they absolutely have to. I feel bad for people who've had more urgent electives postponed. I phoned my allergist and he said his office was closed and he was just there to answer phones - thought that was odd.
  23. I hope you do too! Every day is hard - even the peaceful ones because you're always waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want to have enough mental strength to move out when this is over.
  24. There are "narcissists" who have some selfish behavior and then there are people with "narcissistic personality disorder". It's like being sad vs. being depressed. I believe my brother has NPD. Any apology from him is fake - there is no action behind it, it's all a game to him. He loves creating chaos. I don't know if your mom is NPD. Whatever the label is, how she has treated you is wrong. Glad that you were able to handle things in a way that puts you first! It might be that living apart is the best thing for your relationship. Every time she tries to provoke you, just remember that what she wants is the reaction. Keep practicing staying calm and collected. I'm trying to put this into practice every day for the last few weeks - it's SO hard and I suck at it and I cry every day but I also feel proud of myself. It's a little bit exciting to feel in control when I'm so used to feeling helpless with my family! My favorite youtube channel dealing with NPD is DoctorRamani. I also like The Little Shaman, Michele Lee Nieves Coaching, and Inner Integration. Everything sucks right now, even without dealing with our toxic families. Some days I just don't want to exist anymore. Find things that give you little bits of healthy escape. For me, I like to look at apartments for rent. Have hope, not expectations
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