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veetupeetu

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  1. Thank you very much for your words and advice. I had not thought about probiotics, but intestinal issues really seems like a possibility to explore a bit deeper. I will also keep in mind the goals and accepting of diseasiness of depression - let's see where this will develop...
  2. What to do when I have absolutely everything I have ever wanted, desired or hoped for - and I do not feel content with my life? Reading other posts I know that even the question is ridiculous due to my lack of problems, but still it keeps on throbbing in me, so I'll try to brave myself to ask for your advice. I'm a middle aged male, way over-educated, working in an executive position in academia. My work is exactly the right for me - it gives enough challenges to push me out of my comfort zones but so far I've been able to solve all the problems encountered. I'm married with a most beautiful woman, with whom we've shared our life since 1986. We have always had several common hobbies and we've spend hours together every day, except when either one is travelling due to work. The sex is not as frequent as it was, which sometimes creates friction in our relationship - I'd like a lot more, both in quantity and in quality, but it is there probably once a week and then it is not bad. We touch each other frequently and I do like to rub her shoulders few times a week. I have a 16-year old son, who is absolutely excellent; probably the best-mannered teenager in the world, doing well in school and enjoying his life enormously. We are not rich in absolute terms, but we have money enough for everything we want to do - and thus I consider us wealthy beyond imagination. Physically I'm in rather good shape; 6'5'' and about 200 pounds. I've always done a lot of sports, and at the moment work out about 6-10 hours a week. Previously I've competed in several sports but at the moment I'm only working out in a gym for getting fit. I've been thinking of taking up another competitive sport, but as that would decrease the time I can spend with my family I have selected otherwise for the time being. I'm rather allergic to several food items and it seems to me that the list is growing. I've lost the ability to enjoy several foods over the years due to my discomforsts, latest ones being beef and dairy products. To my understanding the protein in them irritates my digestary system. Thus my diet is very limited and I mainly cook myself, because going to restaurants is always too much of a hassle. The social connections I have more than I'd like to have. Due to my work and hobbies I'm in constant interaction with lots of people. However, it often feels that the interaction is rather one-directional, with me giving and them taking. I get lots of questions and requests, which I try to answers to my best ability, but sometimes I find myself thinking that it would not be a bad idea for people to think with their own brains as well. As a result I like to save as much time to be spent at home with my family as I can; I rarely spend time with other people, except when I go dancing, about twice a month. Spiritually I do not believe in spirits - probably my natural scientific education has convinced me about the futility of hoping for the existence of some supernatural being. Due to my upbringing I'm very well familiar with the teachings of different scripts, but I do belive rather strongly that it was the man who created god and not the other way around. Thus I except to live my life, turn to dust and be forgotten after a couple of years, decades or centuries, and it has never been a problem for me; more of a consolidation, a promise that no matter how stupid mistakes I'll make, they will be left behind eventually. I've written myself different lists about things I'd like to get or do over the years, and I've fulfilled them all. At the moment there is nothing else I can think of I'd like to get - except a bit more frequent sex :-). And then the problem: what to do when I have reached everything I've ever wanted to pursue and nothing gives me pleasure any more? I have absolutely nothing to complain about expect that everything around me looks grey and nothing gives me satisfaction. My wife, son and other people around me are able find new areas of interest that give them pleasure, but I am not, not during the last five years at least. I feel as if I'd already lived through one lifetime and there is still several decades to go with nothing to look for than a downward spiral, because nothing could be better than it is right now.
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