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Everything posted by lp44

  1. Well for whatever a strangers opinion is worth I think everyone is a work in progress indeed. No one ever "arrives" at a spot where they no longer have things to work on. Having a job in a field you enjoy would probably be very good for you. (productivity is high on my list of things I need to be happy...so I would say that!LOL) The timing just isnt right perhaps. Keep searching...
  2. :( Im sorry you are having a bad day. However, hearing you say "totally illogical obviously" makes me feel better tho too. You have a better head on your shoulders than you give yourself credit for I think. Life has worth....beautiful worth. Its the crappy days that make our thought processes derail. It's hard to get out of that cycle of thinking. Keep looking for those things that you are passionate about. I think thats where anyone is most happy.
  3. What types of things do you have an interest in? Is there a way you can get involved somehow with some, or start with one of those things? Finding success in a certain thing we have interest in might help. Finding somewhere in the community around you to help someone or a group out often helps too. I know that sounds odd maybe, but I have always found that at times when I am struggling---helping someone else out blesses me often more than it does that person.
  4. I am really sorry that you had to read those words. Im sure that hurts you to know that someone you look to for security is hurting that bad. How old is your mom? How long has it been since she lost the baby? So much seems to be going on. First--gosh hormones are a powerful thing. PPD could be an issue. As far as you not being enough....I doubt that is anywhere near her thought process. What you are thinking iis a totally normal thing to have run through your mind, however, I can tell you that's not where her "head" is at all right now. Yes it's normal to be angry for her thinking that as well. Your thought processes are not like hers at all if that makes sense. You are at two very different ages any are not thinking the same. It was probably great---raising you and she would like to do it all over again maybe? Life flies by so fast. Maybe she feels like her time has passed fertility wise. That can indeed be very hard for some women to deal with. Its very hard to know how she would react to knowing you read all that stuff. Is there an adult who she is close to that you feel comfortable sharing the info with? That might be a place to start. Let us know how you are doing....
  5. Yesican--I read your reply late last night before I went to bed. Just the "yes you do matter" helped yesterday. Monday and Tuesday were hard for some reason--and both filled with calls and text from people needing me. Those things tend to come in waves. I specifically work with teenagers. I love them so much and that generation surely needs someone to stop and listen when they need it. I am privledged enough to be allowed into their world. Yesterday was --geez I dont know--it was like a full moon or something! LOL People need other people to stop in their busy worlds and say "Im sorry and I care." Somedays I just think tho "oh wow--I can't do this anymore" (but I can--its who I am) Yes I have two wonderful boys. :) Teenagers themselves...we have a wonderful relationship. The doctors office hit me harder than it should have. I felt like "ok you are the one person that is suppose to her for *me.* What they heck? (I only have one friend here I have even told how much I am struggling and the fact that I am on meds now) cra_zay--Thanks for your sweet words too. As a newbie I hope you are finding the support you need here as well. I will call back today about the meds. I am just really discouraged at the moment. I know its way too early for that--but it seemed to work better than this in the beginning. Hope you both have a great day!
  6. You have so very many life changes going on right now. I am so sorry. It seems like it is probably hard to keep your head above water. You have so many stages of grief to go through to come out of this time in your life. Try to take it all one day at a time....moment by moment if you have to. That's all any of us can do. Yes you do deserve happiness. Look at it this way...from rock bottom...it indeed must go up from here! Keep us posted about Thursday and how everything goes with that!
  7. Hello all :) My story isn't unique Im sure. Reader's digest version of who I am: I have a wonderful life. I really do. Struggling with depression, yes---for about 2 years or so I guess. LOTS of life changes, I work full time, I take care of my parents---my husband is in the ministry--which all translates into everyone looks to me to listen and help with their problems. Dont get me wrong. That is a privledge. It really is--I know that. No one in my life would even marginally suspect I am struggling so much. Everyone thinks I have it all together. I am a completely "productive" depressed person I guess! LOL It doesn't keep my from functioning....probably the opposite really. I started Viibryd 29 days ago. (very very hard for me to ask for an antidepressant med) Up until about a week into the 40mg dose I was really excited about it. The med seemed to be helping. (although I have not been without side effects) However at the 40 mg dose my sleep is all over the map, dreams are not nightmare like, but they are constant. I dread going to sleep. I have never had sleep issues no matter what so this is hard for me to handle. My job is really stressful so I cant last long with sleep issues like this. I need for this med to help. (Wellbutrin gave me bad headaches--tried 8 weeks of that one. I just know if this doesn't work I won't try another one. Ill just give up and feel this way) I called the doctor to talk to her about it yesterday, and no one from her office even bothered to call me back. She is a great doctor. She really is....but that just made me feel even worse honestly....like "ok do I matter here!??!" I know thats not rational..but its just been a very hard couple of days for me...and I needed to talk to her and say "ok when do these side affects go away?" For anyone on Viibryd...how long did some of your negative side affects last?
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