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marvin1993's Achievements


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  1. Im tired of being the way i am, i spend 24 hours at home i try to leave my room and do stuff but i dont find joy in anything. I cant rid myself of this feeling i cant feel joy. When i was in school i looked happy i always smiled laughed and goofed around. But the truth is that i was not really as happy as i looked, I never realized that my feelings were not normal until recently and now i realize i been like this for over 4 years. Im almost 20 and im not making it anywhere in life im slowly fading away. I dont have the ability to get over things i self loathe and just have these overwhelming negative thoughts the slightest failure spirals me into these negative thoughts. I cant get over girls that friend zoned me its been 1 year or 2 years and i still cant snap out of it no matter how much i pep talk myself. Life is not worth living when you cant feel joy and your just always sad. i want to light myself on fire hang myself poison myself but im too coward and scared of death. Whats worse is that this is a life long disease and i will never be cured. Why me out of 6 billion people on this earth why cant i just be normal.
  2. i started to feel great, but i have been messing with my does, I take one pill then i wait a few days to take another because i dont want to become dependent on them and since they work every dose it seems like a good idea.
  3. They told me it would be 2 weeks before it kicks in, But an hour after zoloft i was more positive i started to care less about problems, I got less mad with my mother i was driving faster i had more confidence and i was less scared. And it was not placebo because i later noticed that it took me long to orgasm on zoloft. Is this a bad sign or a good sign?
  4. jeez my head feels like its spinning around in circles i am so confused as to what i have... i know think i maybe bi polar because i notice episodes in were i get really irritated the depression changes into anger.
  5. levitfan i was recently in the Emergency room for depression and suicidal thoughts it was not voluntary my parents kinda just took me there to be seen. im 19 and i do fear i have dysthymia which sucks it makes me feel as if i will be depressed my entire life and i am so sick and tired of this crap. I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression the day i went to the emergency room but it did not say what type of depression. This is what makes me want to **** myself at times the thought that unlike major depression dysthymia if it is indeed what i have, Will be with me for every single day of my life until i die. I dont want to be depressed every day for 50+ years.
  6. There is no doubt in my mind that i am depressed i been this way for a long time, Somedays its overwhelming and some days its a minor sadness. Some days i feel sad but its pretty mild and i can go on with my day and seem as if i am normal. The problem that i am having with understanding depression is figuring out if its really a disease and if its something you can "cure". I know what triggers my depression and thats loneliness and low self esteem along with just having a habit of being negative and hard on myself. I believe that if i gained confidence got a girlfriend and changed my negative thoughts which seem to be a habit i formed i can be happy. But i lose hope because people say depression cant be cured so i feel as if i have a life long desiese in which i will never be allowed to be happy for a prolonged period of time.
  7. one is a chemical imbalance but i do hear that to be considered for medical depression you must be depressed at least for 2 weeks. What if you have been depressed for months or even years and caused by negative events in your life like rejection and little social interaction would that make you medically depressed because youve been depressed longer than two weeks? Whats the difference and how can you tell?
  8. How was your experience in the ER? i just came back and it went well had a nice nurse who was actually pleased to meet me and treated me as one of her friends, And i now have a therapist for anxiety and depression treatment is on the way for me and i hope it works.
  9. i took my first dose of 50mg yesterday im noticing minor side effects after the first dose but i want to not take it anymore, i skipped my dose today which would have been my second ever dose on zoloft, i wonder if i will have withdrawals and i also wonder how long this will last in my system, i am going cold turkey after just one dose.
  10. so Zoloft has given you ED right? i already have some ED from self pleasuring for years and i stopped for 3 weeks and relapsed into doing it again, i plan on stopping for 3 to 4 months to see if my libido and erections come back to normal then i might try zoloft.
  11. i took my first ever dose of zoloft today it was 50 mg, I have notice some effects i was more brave today and less anxious and i also had a sexual side effect it was hard to orgasm which is a good thing but i heard zoloft kills libido i already have erectile dysfunction because of years of self pleasure and pornagraphy. I dont want to make this worse by lowering my libido even more. Since ive only taken 1 zoloft pill can i still quit this cold turkey? ive head of people quitting cold turkey and having some serious effects but since ive only put 50 mg into my body is this possible?
  12. sorry for the stars, ill put it this way i used to self pleasure instead of the M word
  13. So today i started taking zoloft its my first day but i am getting a bit anxious because i think it will make my ED worse, Before going on zoloft i used to ********* every single day for years i noticed that i could not get hard all the way so i stopped for 3 weeks and started to ********* again today there was little improvement, Now im on zoloft i heard it causes low libido. I *********d and i did notice it took longer to orgasm now that i have taken my first dose. Will this help me recover my sexual performance or will the already ED with zoloft **** me even more.
  14. if i were to keep my diet and activity levels the same would it alter my weight?
  15. i have been prescribed zoloft but i havent taken it its been sitting around for a week. But i am Afraid of weight gain or weight loss i am also afraid of insomnia and loss of Erections, Im a 19 year old male who works out and is trying to pack on muscle losing a lot of weight really quick is bad and not only do you lose fat but you dont gain muscle and even loose some. And putting on too much fat is bad because it hides the new muscle. Insomnia scares me because if i dont sleep i cant recover from a workout. I would like my metabolism to stay the same i count my calories and measure my food at each meal to make sure im not eating over 2,700 calories.
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