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Jman232

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Everything posted by Jman232

  1. Good evening, folks. Lately it seems I've been fighting these unexplained feelings of melancholy and sadness. They seem to come and go, but often plague me in the evening when I'm off work. I don't think it's dysthemia, because they aren't constant, just more often than what I would consider "normal" for myself. There are definitely a few things I believe contribute to this, but I think it may be depression too. I've started a job at a Firestone Auto Care center, where I'm training as a lube tech and eventually will work my way up to full-fledged mechanic. I'm thankful for the job, because it's good pay and close to home, but it's been pretty trying. My first week was rough, but it's getting better now. I got off to a bad start, but now I'm doing my job well and getting along with my coworkers fairly well. It's just a challenging job, and the hours, while good money, can be pretty killer. The job I left Firestone was no good for me for multiple reasons, but it was also very laid back, so it's taking me a little catching up. My body just feels physically drained. So I'm sure this can contribute... but, still I just keep feeling blue, especially at night and in the morning. Though I can thankfully say it's not all the time. Like I said my first week at the new job was tough, and it was just a hard week for me, it was for my gf as well and we had a few fights, but on my two days off we just kinda spent the weekend together and relaxed. It was really great, both for us as a couple and for each of us individually. I was genuinely quite content for most of that weekend. But then we went our seperate ways and I went back home to get ready for bed and work the next day... and the feelings of sadness returned. :( Any thoughts on this or anyone in a similar situation? Thanks!
  2. That sounds like some pretty solid advice. I advise the same. The way you are currently feeling towards him may be more connected to your depression than the relationship. I too think sitting down and having a good honest talk about him would be a good start. Then look into ways to treat your depression directly. Treating your depression and giving your life in general a brighter perspective may give you a refreshed appreciation of your relationship :) I also say this because I can relate to your feelings. I'm in a relationship with a wonderful girlfriend, who's very supportive and understanding as well. Despite this when I'm at a down point and feeling anxious and depressed, I can get to worrying that it may not work between us, or that I may be slowly losing my feelings for her, as if it was just some kind of infatuation, but then when I talk it out with my therapist, and do excercises to make me feel better, or am in just a good mood in general (my depression and anxiety are an on/off kinda thing) it reminds me how much I love her and appreciate her as a good person as well as a good partner, and how those thoughts are usually just symptoms of my mental issues, and often unrelated to the relationship itself. Sorry, enough talking about me, I just wanted to show you that I can relate. And in remember, honesty's the best policy. Best of luck to you two :)
  3. Ouch. I'm sorry to hear things got to that. :( I'm not him, so I can't give you any exact reason, but I can guess. Sometimes when a man (and women can do this too) has been really burned by a bad relationship he can have a hard time settling into another one, because there's always that fear in the back of his head of going through the same pain any time he enters a new relationship. So after a while, even if things are going good, he may give into to that fear and split. I'm not trying to make him out to be the victim because it always sucks to be in your situation, but that may be one reason. Truth be told I've been on both sides of that coin :/
  4. Hey all. This is something that has been plaguing my mind a little bit and I wanted to share it on the forums to see if anyone else has gone through this. Long story short ever since I graduated high school and began the quest to becoming a young adult I've had self-doubts and insecurities with dating and relationships. There were many times I would shoot myself down or not even try to date, especially when going through a depressive episode, because my fear of rejection and heartache always outweighed my desire for companionship. However through a recent string of events and happenings I have met and am beginning to fall in love with a wonderful girlfriend. She's a very creative and intelligent woman, strong and capable. Me being a mechanic and her being an art school grad with a speciality in print-making, I feel we can both connect with our passion for a craft and working with our hands. She too suffers from depression like me and we have both been very honest and supportive with each other. However, I feel like there is a line somewhere where a significant other just shouldn't be a therapist. Like, I enjoy that we can be supportive of each other, but I still struggle with my self-doubts and insecurities, and sometimes I feel I look to her too much for validation or happiness. I was going through an especially depressive episode the other night, so I asked her to stay the night over. It was nice having her there, but it seemed that was all we talked about, and the next morning I just felt a bit disappointed that it didn't brighten my mood. Like, I thought we'd just cuddle it out and I'd be feeling better. (Sorry if this is tmi, guys). I was really bummed out about it. Then all morning at work I was stewing it over in my mind. So after work I met up with my best friend who got back out of town and we talked about things and hung out and discussed various business to attend to, and I also had a really good job interview, which looks like I'll get a job, so all that cheered me up considerably. I guess the bottom line is this. From this I feel like I learned I really need to work on being my own person, and bettering myself for me as well as her. I love her, and she loves me, but I've come to realize I shouldn't try to make her my primary source of happiness or support. I shouldn't expect her to be a girlfriend and a therapist. It's neither realistic nor fair to expect that from another person. So for the sake of our relationship, and really for my own sake as well, I'm going to strive to draw boundaries where I feel what I'm asking for is beyond her responsibility, and seek to better myself and be my own person through various pursuits and treatments/therapies. Not to say that this isn't something I'll have to keep working at, lol. Anybody else been there?
  5. Hi! Welcome to the forums. I'm new here too. Hoping to find some people to discuss issues with and hopefully gain some insight. That's nice of you to extend the invitation to chat with others. I hope signing in here helps :)
  6. For what it's worth I know exactly how you feel. I too have a similar story. I've been dealing with depression and anxiety on and off since I was a kid, and more recently especially as a young adult. I always had insecurities dealing with women and relationships, and would sometimes fall into the mindset that just finding 'the one' would make everything peachy and fix my problems. Which, don't get me wrong, I love my partner very much, but like you said is bulls---. When I started dating my partner I was excited to get a second chance with her (I was a jerk the first time we met and hurt her several months prior to our giving it another go, long story lol) but then after a few casual dates it hit me, 'I REALLY like this girl." And like you said, let the anxiety begin lol. It can be hard sometimes. She's always good about being open with me and letting me be open with her about our feelings, and I love that we can share anything without pretense, but I am still plagued about doubts and insecurities, "Does she still like me? OMG She's such a cool strong woman, am I good enough for her? She hasn't texted me back, she still likes me, right?" We're both in love, and that I don't question. I can just tell, that she really is 'the one' ya know? But I've also come to realize that it's an ongoing process dealing with these anxieties and insecurities. I'm very happy to hear your stories because it makes me feel alot better to see that people who suffer from depression and anxiety can have meaningful lasting relationships. As we've all come to know, being in love and in a relationship is one of the best things ever, but it also takes a lot of work. The initial novelty of being in a new relationship does wear away over time, but the love never really does. And fights and hangups will happen, what's important is that you both can work them out. So, here's to finding love despite it all. I wish you the best :)
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