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Everything posted by Jman232

  1. ^Bwahahaha but the above just gave me a bit of a laugh. I typed in using a cold certain beverage that's brewed with hops, is very foamy, starts with B and ends with R, but the website automatically edited it to say alcohol.
  2. *sighs* I hate Mondays. Sometimes the nicer the weekend the harder it is to come back down to the weekly grind. That and I could really use a cold alcohol but did not grab any on my way home. -__-
  3. First of all, thanks Wrenn for your encouraging words! Second, I can certainly relate to all the car troubles people have been having! I paid $200 over the phone for a repair to my wife's car while she was out of town, a shame it broke down then, but it had to be done. Then the next day as we're both back home, I hop into my car and find out IT'S going to need some major repairs now. Oh boy, when it rains it pours I suppose. On the bright side, though: I get my first paycheck since my raise this Friday and I have a good tax return due to return in the next week or so, so this won't **** us by any means. Happy Monday, all, keep your heads up high!
  4. I can empathize. I don't know the kind of work environment you're in, or the kind of attitude the management have, but have you tried discussing this with them? Telling them how you feel and how you would like to just keep your current position if possible? I know it can be really uncomfortable talking to coworkers about your anxiety, but they may be sympathetic. If you've been with the company for 8 years, I can assume you're pretty darn competent at what you do. If the higher-ups are worth their salt they'll hopefully realize this. They should be more concerned with keeping you around then stressing you out to the point of leaving. I can think of two similar times this happened at my work. I am a mechanic for the city. A few years back when the guy who runs the parts department left, I opted to take his place, and for two months I went from being the oil change guy/low man on the pyramid to being responsible for inventory and distribution of parts for every piece of equipment the city owned. After two months of that I told my supervisors I was getting burned out and needed out of there. Two weeks later I was back on the shop floor out of the parts house. The second time was when I applied for a position just for kicks, and I didn't think I would get it. I did get it, and in about a period of two months I went from being low man on the pyramid to one notch below management. After a month of this I told my supervisor I wanted to go back to my old position because the stress and high demands were burning me out. He shook my hand and said, "I'd rather you take your old position back and stick around for a while, then get so stressed out with this one that you end up leaving in five months." I felt a lot better after that. I hope your management can be as understanding. And if they're not, if they just see you as an asset to their company and make you take this management position no matter what (given that your current manager does get that job), then you have every right to put in your two weeks notice. The security and money is nice, but no job, NO JOB is worth burning yourself out over. Hope things work out for you :)
  5. Right now I'm halfway through Use of Weapons by Ian M. Banks. It's one of many science fiction books in his "Culture" series, which are all set in or around a large space-faring civilization that has advanced to a near utopian post-scarcity society where sentient machines live alongside its human residents, and how they deal with other civilizations and races. Good stuff. Also about to start The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook at my wife's advice. I hear it's some good stuff and offers a lot of helpful tips and habits. I may blow the dust off my copy of Depression for Dummies while I'm at it to read as a companion piece. Read it a little more than two years when my depression started flaring up again. I remember it being helpful then, but I feel my life circumstances have changed enough that I could give it a reread and get some new things to chew on out of it.
  6. The wife is away for the day at work, and I figured I'd curl up on the sofa and binge read some good scifi. But I started sinking into a big ol funk and guilt-tripping myself about how I'm wasting the day. :( Grabbed my coat and the doggie and went for a brisk walk, and I gotta say, it's made me feel a little bit better :)
  7. Hello, Sapphire! I am sorry that you're going through all this! I don't know that I have any really solid advice to give, or at least it sounds like you're already doing anything that I would advise. It sounds to me like you're taking the right steps, going to see your rTMS doctor soon, and it sounds like you've made no shortage of attempts to clearly tell your parents what your situation is. That sounds like a terribly frustrating position to be in, I hope things improve for you soon. And don't forget to remind yourself that you're being proactive about this and taking steps to finding out what is getting to you. That is commendable. I'm just sorry your mother is taking it that way. Frustrating as it is, there is only so much we as people can do to sway the opinions of others. :/
  8. Yesterday I got off work early and went to the city to take my last certification test so I could keep my promotion and not be demoted back down a notch. I also had to pass to ensure the guy who now holds my own position could keep his job! Anywho, I went in the test center feeling very nervous, but confident, sat down, took it, and passed with flying colors! When the woman who runs the front desk handed me my results I nearly jumped up and down! I met up with my wife afterwards and she bought me dinner. It may have only been a Wednesday, but it might as well have been a Friday evening for how good I felt. :) After all that studying and stressing, I'm anticipating a nice relaxing weekend :)
  9. I hate standardized testing, and the idea that it's still treated like the be-all end-all of gauging someone's ability in the job world by some. And really, I'm just sick of the winter. The weather has actually been surprisingly nice this past couple of days here in Oklahoma, but I'm over spending three days with temperatures in the high 60s Farenheit, then waking up to another round of windy below freezing days. And I work bankers' hours, so the sun has only been up for a half hour or so when I go to work, and I get about 30 minutes of daylight when I get home. I know it's only an 8.5 hour work day, but it gives the illusion that I'm there for the whole day :/ Can it just be late April already?
  10. My "good ol' days" were my teenage years going into 20-21. I miss having a great group of friends always a phone call away. Having little more to worry about than a laughably easy part time job, then getting off to blow my little paycheck on good times with said friends. The newness of so many things: First time I moved out to college, first kiss and car in high school, first gf, my first apartment. First alcohol, when getting drunk still felt like this new novel thing. More free time than I knew what to do with. However to be fair, I can't list all those things I miss without balancing with a list of things that are better in my life now. I'm a lot more knowledge now than I was then. I actually have a plan for the next five years. I have a wonderful wife and a lovely dog. :)
  11. That doesn't sound silly at all, sounds like a creative way to put your thoughts to paper. :) I have a nice leather bound journal my mother in law gave me as a Christmas gift a few years back, and for a while I would wake up and fill in three pages with whatever was on my mind. I always found it a nice way to unload whatever was on my mind and help sort it out, and really, I ought to get back into that habit. I'm glad writing helps :)
  12. I had a pretty lovely weekend. -The sun was out both Sat and Sun, -Me and the wife got to take our corgi to the dog park -I installed a new muffler on my car, it took forever and scraped knuckles on each hand, and next time I'll pay a shop to do it, but hey, I tried my hand at something new :) -Got to have coffee with a pair of good friends and -Got to spend Sunday evening with my wife and dad
  13. I agree, happy place to me just sounds... I dunno kinda condescending in a way, safe or calm place sounds much better. I see that I'm replying a little late to this. I'm hoping your meeting with your therapist went well. It took me a few tries to find a good therapist that I really clicked with, but once I did it was worth it.
  14. I'm so sorry to hear that *hugs*. I'm in the same boat as neurotic lady. I've never experienced that kind of loss, but my anxiety/depression really hit me when I was about 7. I can tell you that when I finally kick myself enough to schedule appointments with my therapist it works wonders for me. Edit: And sometimes I like to just go through the forums here, because it can be comforting to know that there are others out there looking for healing, and you are not alone. I've heard people say one of the hardest parts of losing someone is getting to a point where people around them just expect them to "get over it and move on"
  15. I would like to thank all of you again for your support and insight. I talked to my boss about it. He was very understanding, and said he'll try to get me an extension, and if HR won't let him, he says I still have a job there, and he appreciates my hard work. It was a stressful couple of days, but I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  16. Thanks for all the support, everyone! Today I'm getting ready then I'm off to work in another thirty minutes or so. I appreciate all the encouraging you all have had to say, and when I return home today I'll share how it went. Thanks again! :) Btw, those quotes were helpful :)
  17. Thanks, flasquish. Trying not to dwell on it is good advice indeed. I'm sure there will be other shots at it in the future. Trying to take something I can learn from this!
  18. Hello, everyone. I've had a tough bout with failure these past couple of days. Basically at my work I got a promotion six months ago. A stipulation of that promotion was that I had to test for and attain five ASE certifications (they're for automotive repair, like what the A & P is for aircraft, or that test that nurses have to take). The six months are up, and I've only attained four. It's not for lack of trying, I studied like crazy and tried one of the tests three times, failing each time, I'm just not very good at standardized testing, I'm a hands on learner. It's just tough, I've felt low about it all day today. Today I took my last chance shot at it and failed the test. I have to go to work tomorrow morning and confront my boss about it. I will have to go to back to my old position, which in itself isn't bad, but the guy they recently hired to replace me there is going to get fired D: (I work for the government, go figure) And that's what really eats at me. It's just no good. I'm trying to tell myself that it wasn't for lack of trying, that I gave it my best shot, but it still feels hard. How have you guys had to deal with failure in your lives? Thanks for reading.
  19. The fact that I wake up each morning next to someone who loves me. The fact that I work in a place, where though it can be stressful, I am valued and looked after. My sweet little corgi. I'll be earning a college degree by year's end, something I didn't have confidence I could do a few years ago. Even though it's hard and crazy sometimes, I finally have a plan in my life, after about 5 years of aimless indecision.
  20. Thanks, IHaveNoName! That's awesome, way to think positive :)
  21. Thanks, everyone! Here I am on another Monday, and I'm still pretty anxious, but I'm trying to keep positive, and take it one day at a time. I'm also taking little steps, like telling myself positive affirmations, trying to go for at least one walk a day, cutting back on my caffeine intake, and sleeping regularly. Hoping it helps :)
  22. Thanks for the replies and good wishes! IHaveNoName- yes, I feel if I can work on regaining my confidence, that would be a big step forward. I already feel better about it opening up on these forums and to my wife about it, I am trying to be hopeful that things will smooth out. We have also been super short handed lately, so I think it's fair to say I've been under a more hectic than usual workload, even by the city's standards. But a good coworker who has been recovering from surgery is about to return, and then we're about to hire another mechanic, so I'm hoping the pacing will smooth out as well. Staccato- I think you have a good point. I need to learn to worry less about all the workplace politics or what my boss is thinking about me, and just delve into what's in front of me. And you're right, if I'm here it's for a reason. I also have been working towards a better goal in sight. I have started working on the side as a mobile mechanic who makes house calls to people to fix their cars, and I find this kind of work much more enjoyable. At the moment I'm just doing it on the side to build a favorable reputation, but once I've saved up more money from my city job I am going to register with the state tax commission and become a business full time. Having this goal in sight and knowing I'm working towards it makes my current job more bearable.
  23. My job has been causing a lot of anxiety in my life these past few months and it's really getting to me. :( I went to these forums because I just need to get it out. I am a mechanic for the public works department of my hometown. This means I repair all kinds of city vehicles; cop cars, small fire trucks, lawn mowers, vans, etc. I started about two years ago at the bottom level, and the pay was less, but the work was also less stressful, but in the past six months I've been promoted to a mid-level mechanic, meaning I have a lot of learning to do. I've never really enjoyed my job, but it's never been unbearable either. But in the past few months I've made a few big mistakes, been reprimanded by my boss for them, (even given a "this is the last verbal warning you get, next time you're getting written up by management). And it's just gotten to me. It's shaken my confidence so bad I'm having a hard time getting it back. :( I really enjoy troubleshooting cars, it's like jumping into a puzzle each time I get one... but now I come to work terrified of the next big mistake I'm going to make, or the next time I'm really gonna mess things up, and it's eating away at me. What's worse is I feel that worrying about messing up is just making it much harder for me to focus, like I'm sabotaging myself. :(
  24. I'm under a lot of anxiety as well recently. Hmmmm, for me I like riding my bicycle or taking my dog for a long walk, these are both slow paced enough to calm me down, and offer enough exercise for me to feel better afterwards. Sleeping at least 8 hours a night. Also cutting back on caffeine. Sorry I don't have anything more than common advice. They work for me when I actually apply them. Keyword when lol.
  25. I wish you the best, Teddy. That is hard. :( I'm sorry you're experiencing that kind of pain. I can't imagine what I would do without my wife in my life. I can relate to you on some level, at least loving someone for who they used to be. What's happened with your wife sounds very similar to what my family has gone through in the past four years. My mother joined an online religious cult a few years ago, and it eventually led to her leaving my dad and then cutting off communication with all of us. I loved my mother dearly growing up, and it still aches from time to time knowing she no longer wants to be part of my life. But I know she's not the same person now as the smart wonderful woman who raised me. I can only imagine how my dad feels. If you would ever like to talk, or just someone to listen, feel free to pm me.
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